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Hanah Sobek
Hanah Sobek

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[TB] TWILIGHT -- OUTLINE

Like I had for Starlight, I figured it would be fun to post my notes and outlines for Twilight!

Now, Twilight was a story I struggled with, and while I think I got where I needed to go in the end, I do think the story suffered from my indecision in some places.

Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of my notes on the early stages of the story are gone. I only have myself to blame for that, I suppose, but it is what it is. A lot of those early notes were built off of the original ideas that I had scrapped, and changing over from Microsoft Office to Campfire partway through writing the story likely contributed to the loss.

As a warning, these notes are somewhat out of order. I tend to try and keep them in some sort of sequence, but things inevitably get mixed up. There are also a few different formatting choices, some looser and freeform, while others are a bit rigid - I like to keep a general idea of what concepts most chapters should be covering, but some require being more thorough than others.

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One of the new things I tried with this series was to use something like notepad.io to map out a very basic plot timeline that I could easily reference and edit. Not all of my original ideas are here - this is likely my second or third pass at the story.

Shadepool's punishment period

Shadepool's punishment ends at the half-moon

Shadepool's punishment has ended:

Moonpool meeting

The Gathering

Moonpool

Yellowfang's muzzle rankled. “I am saying that I am no more powerful than you,” she growled. “We read the stars, and see what might be, and we tell you what we know - but that's no different than what you do down there. We don't have all the answers.”

Shadepool was speechless. Yellowfang's tail caressed her cheek. “We're just cats, too, Shadepool - we always have been.” Yellowfang's gaze wavered. “We watch over you from the stars until it's our time to become stardust - and from there... who knows? I certainly don't!”

“But-” Shadepool struggled for words. “But you were always...?”

Yellowfang purred, and touched her nose to Shadepool's head. “You give as much meaning and power to us as you need to go on, and that faith goes both ways. When you have faith in us, and we have faith in you, we give each other the strength to survive.”

This is a scrapped part of the conversation between Yellowfang and Shadepool in Chapter 19. I felt like, though this is technically the truth, and why Mothwing doesn't have strong beliefs anymore, it kind of derails things to have this come up now, and would drastically alter Shadepool's faith way too soon. I didn't want to delete it outright because I might need it somewhere later.

Brackenfur, Sorreltail, Sun, and Cloudtail find Shadepool at the Moonpool. Brackenfur heads off their questions but forces Shadepool to tell him what happened when they return to camp. Shadepool suggests that they tell Tinystar, and Brackenfur volunteers to be the one to do so while Shadepool tends to the Clan

ThunderClan camp

Sun asks Shadepool to look in on Sorreltail while Brackenfur is resting. Shadepool discovers that Sorreltail is pregnant, and the whole Clan is excited for a litter of kits for newleaf.

Shadepool asks Nightfrost if he and Mistyfoot plan on having kits, but it seems like their relationship isn't there yet, and Nightfrost dodges the question. Tinystar is similarly pleased, though Shadepool knows that danger haunts the Clan.

Dustpelt starts a fight with a WindClan patrol over speculation that they might've taken Shadepool

The daily fighting starts. Emberstep is often heard of in the attacks, and Mistyfoot wonders if Crowflight is condoning this behavior. Shadepool is sure he isn't, considering his reaction to the earlier ambush, but she hasn't been able to leave the Clan to ask him about it. ThunderClan's meager supplies are dwindling and Shadepool and Brackenfur can't find any more.

She endeavors to meet Crowflight one night, but finds the dusk patrol being attacked by WindClan. Larchpaw is badly injured.

Maybe a scene about how they're out of poppy seeds?

A scene of Tinystar endeavoring to talk to WindClan? Larchpaw attempts to join the patrol but ends up sneaking after them. Maybe Shadepool goes and they are violently turned away, and that is when Larchpaw is injured by Emberstep, who thinks he is preparing an ambush, against Crowflight's wishes?

Tinystar takes a patrol to meet with Crowflight at the border, this includes Shadepool and Nightfrost

I flip-flopped a lot about whether or not Larchpaw would be sick or injured around this time, but as I was writing, I couldn't figure out a way to justify Larchpaw being at this particular meeting that satisfied me. The injury was meant to reflect Birchpaw's injury from the badger fight in the original story. I ended up settling for him being sick, as that was much easier to justify.

It might not have happened now, but that doesn't mean it won't ever happen!

The Clan is preparing for WindClan's war. Dustpelt's wound is infected, and Whitewing's is starting to look the same. Larchpaw comes down with a cold. There are no herbs to treat them, and Brackenfur worries that a greencough epidemic will wipe them out before WindClan does.

Nightfrost's fears come up as they head for RiverClan:

The feud between Nightfrost and Shadepool might have been better done in the earliest version of Twilight, where the two of them split PoVs for this story, with Shadepool dealing with the Omen and her feelings for Crowflight, while, at the same time, Nightfrost would be handling the fighting with WindClan and his feelings for Mistyfoot.

Instead, I chose to explore how the two behave without their connection and how much they had come to rely on it and each other, and the conflict with WindClan can be just as personal to Shadepool as it is to Nightfrost - Sunset will explore Nightfrost and Mistyfoot's relationship from Mistyfoot's perspective.

Unfortunately, that means Nightfrost has no PoV in this arc, but I think I like it better that way. I didn't want to make ThunderClan feel dull by having three PoVs in it, two of which are mentally connected.

I digress, though - I think I fumbled the problems between the siblings a bit in execution. I wanted Shadepool to feel frantic and isolated, to have to reach out and make other friends in Sorreltail and Mothwing, to freak out a bit when it seems like Nightfrost is just fine without her and that she needed him more than he needed her, but it feels a little forced in my opinion. Next time I write a dynamic similar to this, I hope I can be satisfied with how I do it.

Mothwing agrees to help

[CUT] Shadepool runs to WindClan

There was a version of things where Shadepool ran to WindClan directly!

I toyed with the idea of Shadepool actually being captured by WindClan and staying in their camp for a chapter or two, and having that be the catalyst that causes Tinystar to attack WindClan - but throughout the whole story, ThunderClan had endeavored never to be the aggressor, so Tinystar flipping like this felt very unfair, even if it would've been something he would've done to save his kit.

Plus, the WindClan camp is too open! ThunderClan's camp is much better suited to desperate battles.

Shadepool runs home

Brackenfur's involvement

WindClan attacks

The Battle

Alteration time!

So, originally I had planned for Brackenfur to die in this book, like his counterpart had in canon.

There were a couple ways I had thought of to do this: Brackenfur dies from a sickness, which he had hidden from Shadepool the entire story, or Brackenfur saves Shadepool's life during the battle and dies as a result (Sootfur succumbing to his wounds later on).

The sickness route was from a version of the story where ThunderClan was suffering from a breakout of greencough throughout the book, which they didn't have the herbs for. Brackenfur would've been fighting the illness off on his own for the most part, as Shadepool would be distracted by things like Crowflight and the Omen. He would catch the sickness, Shadepool would be too distracted to notice, and die, either before or after the battle.

I figured out early on that it would've been a bit difficult to justify ThunderClan enduring both attacks from WindClan and sickness like this. It would've made things too complicated and would feel a bit drawn out and miserable, and it would be hard to justify only Brackenfur dying from it.

The battle route has a bit to do with the Mosspaw prophecy, something not mentioned in these notes but it does come up in the original prologue, so the idea did live for longer than most others.

It's a bit of a retcon - the idea that back in Darkest Hour, Mosspaw receives a prophecy that Brackenfur misinterprets (a theme for him) that foretells one of someone's death. Brackenfur thinks its his death, while Mosspaw thinks its hers, and is adamant about it. During the battle with BloodClan, Mosspaw sees Bone about to attack the medicine cats and sacrifices herself, fulfilling her version of the prophecy but leaving Brackenfur under the impression that she had taken his place.

Now, Brackenfur has intense survivor's guilt and is under the impression that he's living on borrowed time. He sacrifices himself to save Shadepool, hoping to finally fulfill the prophecy and apologizing to Mosspaw for not believing her.

Obviously, this is a BIG alteration! It says a lot about Brackenfur's character and his relationship with Shadepool and even StarClan, and, in hindsight, maybe I should have left it in - ultimately, though, I decided to let Brackenfur live and set the idea aside.

For now.

Aftermath

I waffled about whether or not Mistyfoot should be appointed in this book or the next, but in the end I thought it would be more interesting if Mistyfoot is deputy from the start, rather than having it thrust on her at some point in Sunset - that way, Sunset can focus on her coping with her new responsbilities, and whether or not it was something she actually wanted.

Shadepool goes off to meet Crowflight

Obviously, this ending is a little different than what happened, but not by much. In the original Twilight, Crowfeather and Leafpool break up - but I wanted Shadepool and Crowflight to struggle on, and fight for their relationship's right to exist.

Change is coming to the Clans, and they are at the forefront.


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