Bad Day at The Office pt 5

He really wasn't sure at what time it was but it must have been well  past midnight if Mandy had returned from her date and he thought he had  heard about 7 hourly news cycles since Shelly had departed earlier. It  took him a good hour before his crumpled body regained enough strength  to lift up the heavy oak desk off his body enough so he could slide out  from under. He flipped the radio back on briefly to find out what time  it really was and was not surprised to hear it was already 3 am. Knowing  the door was locked he futilely tried it anyway hoping to make his  escape. He knew if he were to get caught in her private office in the  morning that there would be some " 'xplaining' to do and maybe even to  the police. Standing upright he would surely be discovered, but if he  assumed a position on the floor he laughed as he thought he would again  apparently 'turn invisible' again. To be on the safe side he figured  that under her desk would be the best just in case. Bev always got in  the office at 6 am which was about 3 hours away, time enough to do some  scrounging for food as he only got scraps of his macerated lunch and no  dinner and he was starved. He hated to resort to this but he needed to  go through Bev's desk in hopes that she might have a candy bar or a bag  of chips stashed away somewhere. He had already checked her trash can  for edibles and there was nothing but paper etc. He very carefully  checked each drawer so as not to disturb anything and leave a telltale  presence that someone had gone through her desk and nothing so far that  was the least bit edible. He opened the last bottom drawer and all he  found in it was an old pair of sneakers that she apparently kept in  there for emergencies. He was resigned to give up and starve when he  noticed that the tread of her running shoes were caked with debris.  Desperately despite the odor that emanated from inside the shoe, he  examined the bottoms of her shoes carefully and noticed what could be a  squashed piece of chocolate tucked in in the little arch between the  sole and the heel. He figured that if he could eat a lunch that had been  trampled by half the ladies in the office, and have all 30 women wipe  the heels and soles of their shoes on his tongue during the 4 minute  evaluations on his tongue, say nothing of considering putting his  dentures back in his mouth after what they had been through; what was a  little unknown street debris mixed in with a nourishing piece of candy  going to make any difference. As he chewed the stale piece of chocolate  it was certainly very gritty but it was going to have to last until  morning. He now thought more of the expensive set of dentures that had  been kicked around and stepped on by Bev, each of the ladies in the  office, and even Bev's daughter. He found the upper set easy enough and  wondered where the lowers had ended up. He peaked under the door and was  lucky enough to spot them just on the other side of the door to her  office. He tried sliding his fingers under the door but the space  between the door and the floor made it just barely out of reach. He  mentally took an inventory of the items that he had discovered that he  had access to and came up with a plan to retrieve his denture. It was  very elaborate but he had a couple of hours left. First he would use the  shoe laces in the running shoes to capture the plastic, but he would  have to think of away to project a loop of the shoelace out far enough  (about 14"). He unlaced the shoes and tied one end of each lace to the  top eyelet of each shoe. He then fashioned a launcher with a rubber  band, paper clip, and a ruler. Next he used a pencil underneath the near  end of the ruler to give his 'lasso' enough lift to get over its  target. The only draw back of this whole contraption was that in order  to position and aim he had to get so close to the opening of those  stinkin' tennies that the smell from them made his eyes water and it was  difficult to aim and required several attempts until he thought he was  going to go blind with the chemical assault as his nose had to be almost  inside the awful things to get the proper position. Finally the mission  was accomplished and it was after 5 am now and he would need to hurry  to get everything back in the exact place he got them including the  unusual lacing in those stinky shoes of hers. He decided to stash his  dentures somewhere safe. Finding a safe place in her locked office  indeed presented a challenge. The only objects in the room were her  desk, chair, waste can and a well trampled rug. He thought about taping  it the underside of one of these objects but did not think the cheap  scotch tape she had would hold it in place very long. Despite the smell  of those shoes he had never seen Bev wear them and reluctantly decided  that this was the only safe place he could think of. This done, he now  had just a few minutes left before Bev  was due in. He was in the  process of sliding under the cramped space. The desk was massive (maybe  14' long) and was more than enough to hide his 6' length but  unfortunately it was only about 7" clearance in the lowest part. It  meant slow going as he had to lift the desk up (300 pounds)  and inch  his way under. He was making progress and had just gotten about half way  when he heard her door unlock and he froze. He had hoped he would have  gotten farther so his face would no longer be her target stool, but it  was too late now. He would have to remain motionless at this point. His  arms were still extended outwards exposing his hands to potential damage  from anyone walking near her desk, but any movement now might prove  disastrous. From underneath the desk he noticed as she approached that  she was wearing the same shoes that she was wearing when she went home  with and also had the same smudge on her ankle that was there last  night. Of course coming in this early after such a late night a little  hygiene had to be compromised. She stood at her desk for a minute before  she sat down. He feared that somehow he had not gotten something in the  right place and had made her suspicious as she just seemed to stand  there not saying a word and not getting into her morning routine. With a  heel poised on either side of his exposed hand near her chair he was  wondering if she noticed his hand and was in a quandary about what to do  next considering whether she should call the police etc. He watched as  she slowly lifted her right foot and moved it closer and it hovered it  over his fingers. Then she slowly lowered it down as if she was testing  the foreign object. His fear was relieved somewhat as she put more and  more weight on her foot and ultimately his hand until she was standing  full weight with her heel smashing his index finger and the sole of her  shoe pressing firmly on his wrist. She remained there still for such a  long time until he picked up the faint sounds of her cell phone  receiving text messages. Who in the world could she be texting at 6 am  he mused and remembered the late night call from what could have been  her boyfriend and began to consider the possibility that her lover might  be in a different time zone, which would explain this and the fact she  had to diddle herself last night as he recalled the fact that she forced  her raunchy panties down his throat. Ah well, at least he wasn't  getting yelled at. He quickly noticed that her shoes were soaking wet  and had mud stains as she must have stepped in a puddle on her way in.  As she remained standing there he noticed the puddles of water  collecting around his hand. It must have been quite a puddle that she  had to wade through. His hand was numb by now as she finally stepped  aside a rolled her chair out and prepared to close in as she scooted her  legs in cutting him off from the outside world. Her heels planted  themselves into his face as she used them as an anchor to roll her chair  forward. After he got used to the stabbing pain she bestowed he was  grateful for the trickle of water that moistened his lips as she parked  her heels on his face. He was so parched he kept his mouth open and  tongue out to clean the dirty moist liquid oozing from her shoe. He  became rigid when he noticed her opening the bottom drawer. The only  thing in that drawer was her old smelly running shoes She couldn't keep  any thing else in that drawer because of the smell. He knew he was in  trouble now as she was sure to find his hidden dentures. He dreaded the  moment as she dragged them out but quickly placed them on the floor  under the desk right next to his face. Even she didn't want unnecessary  exposure to them. Next the old routine of using his eye sockets to pry  off her heels. She however allowed a few minutes to let her feet dry as  she rubbed her wet on his face drying them off. He guessed that she  thought his face was the end of expensive little rug she had in front of  her desk. No matter, he thought he enjoyed the added moisture that came  off her feet. They did smell horrific but his thirst over came his  objections as he allowed her to rub her toes on his dry tongue. He heard  her rustle a paper bag and then heard a disgusted comment about the Egg  McMuffin she had that they put cheese on against her request. She  attempted to throw it in the garbage, missed, and kicked it under her  desk because with that huge puddle in front of the building she just  about had it and was in a lousy mood. There was absolutely no way to get  in the office this morning without wading 8 feet through ankle deep  water. She probably ruined her heels another $900 down the drain and the  stupid guy down in the lobby at the mini-MacDonalds couldn't get a  simple order right. She would have him come up here and fetch it himself  when he brought up her correct order. (the manager was a personal  friend of hers).Her attitude was uncharacteristically nasty as she then  decided to use the ill prepared sandwich to finish drying off her feet.

She removed her wet cold feet from his face and began to mash the Egg  McMuffin with her toes as she played with it and again kicked it out in  the open.  He was quite frustrated as he had every hope of eating that  sandwich and looked a little forlorn at what he had hoped was going to  be the only food he had in 24 hours. He still intended to eat it despite  the fact it was getting a little squished and scented and flavored with  foot her sweat. He was just about to flip the sandwich back into safety  when Shelly came in her office complaining about that huge lake that  she had to wade through in order to get in the building. She walked  around behind the desk to show Bev how ruined her heels were. Her right  foot landed squarely on his hand as she continued to describe how mad  she was and that somebody needed to build a bridge or something for all  the people that were coming into work. The building almost employed  about 90% women as it was almost entirely dedicated to the fashion  industry and the various businesses that supported it. Consequently  there were potentially thousands of dollars in women’s’ shoes alone that  could be damaged. She kept on and on Bev of course was agreeing and  adding her own comments with her frustration and instructed Shelly to  send Bob down to the front door to figure out a way to get the ladies in  the building without ruining their shoes. Shelly thought that was a  wonderful idea except she wasn't sure how he was going to accomplish the  task. Bev's feet were fairly dry by now and had returned her feet to  his face where he was getting the powerful fragrance of unwashed feet  and wet leather. As their conversation continued Shelly took another  step and immediately noticed she was stepping on something unfamiliar as  the sole of her wet shoe was now squarely on the ill fated sandwich.  She stepped back with both feet one on his hand and the other on his  forearm and asked Bev what this thing was she was stepping on. Bev  explained that it was a mistake that the idiot in Mac's gave her this  morning. Every morning she gets the same thing and this morning on top  of the her wet shoes this fool messes up her sandwich. I am saving this  for him to pick up when he brings me the right order. Meanwhile I  decided to use it to dry my feet. I don't care if it is a little nasty  by the time he comes to pick it up, in fact why don't you do likewise.  The worse it looks and smells the more likely he will get it right next  time. Shelly laughed and took her shoes off and stepped forward again on  the sandwich flattening it further and transferring the combination of  her foot sweat and wetness on to what used to be the Egg McMuffin.  Shelly didn't stay there for long as she mentioned that Bob was usually  in by this time and was going to see if he was making the coffee or  something. With that she backed up again and replaced her shoes on but  because of the wetness of the leather she had to use a little extra  force to get them on as she stamped three or four times in place with  each foot bruising his hand and forearm still more. After Shelly left  Bev continued what she started a few minutes ago and he once again got  very nervous as he was afraid that the discovery of his dentures was  going to lead to all sorts of problems for him. She inserted one foot  into a sneaker and then the other. He was amazed that she didn't  immediately withdraw her foot as her toes surrounded his dentures. He  watched her finish lacing her shoes and tightening them up with no  apparent discomfort and then he noticed the sneakers were a few sizes  larger than the regular shoes that she wears. He watched her stand up  again stepping on the now flat Egg McMuffin and walk around her office a  few minutes again with no perceptible irritation. He was grateful that  he wasn't up the creek but remorseful at the same time as he imagined  what his teeth would taste like at the end of the day if they were never  discovered and survived the entire day in there without getting broken.  She took her coffee cup with her as she left so he knew she would be  gone long enough for him to finally escape. He began to inch his way out  and was almost out when Dawn came in to lay some papers on Bev's desk  and just stepped up on his now exposed stomach as if he was never there.  He continue to wonder how no one seemed to notice him and totally  ignored his presence even if it meant climbing on top of him. He  wondered how Shelly could feel that she was stepping on the partially  flat sandwich and yet never realize she was stepping on his hand. In any  case Dawn wiped her feet on his once clean shirt and tie leaving her  wet muddy footprints on it. She then continued on and stepped on his  breakfast on her way out. It was all quiet again so he attempted to  finish freeing himself from the desk and just managed to get his head  out from under when his head bumped against Lexus's ankle who had  silently come in. He was petrified that she saw him and would be accused  of some sort of perversion being caught under the boss's desk like a  peeping tom or something. He was right between her feet and looking up  at her beautiful legs and panties, but just like all the rest when the  ladies looked at him all the saw was a piece of furniture. Her foot  raised up and then lowered itself slowly on his face and stepped up full  weight on him as she sorted some stuff on top of Bev's desk. She  remained there for what seemed forever. He was concerned that unless she  left in a hurry he would never make his escape out of here. Her feet  were also soaked and muddy as she instinctively also began cleaning her  shoes on him as well as the grime was being spread all over his face.  With a twist of her feet and a badly contorted face she stepped off in  the direction of the Egg McMuffin and added her footprint to what was  left. He now was able to get up. Starving he immediately went over to  the sandwich and gingerly began to pick it up trying to still keep it in  one piece. Both Bev and Shelly came in at that time and asked him what  he was doing and he said he saw this mess in here and was going to clean  it up for her. As he was explaining this Bev had walked around and  managed to step on the outstretched hand briefly as her heel descended  on the top of his hand that was bracing him while his other hand was  busy loosening the sandwich off the floor. This sent a sudden shock wave  up his arm and he tried to withdraw it but Shelly almost on her heels  literally quickly replaced her foot with her own, all of this while they  were even though they were talking to him. Bev said she was saving that  mess for the fool downstairs and he said that he would make sure that  he would take it down stairs and assured Bev that someone is going to  eat it as he cradled the flat sandwich in his hand. Bev said good Shelly  and I both stepped on it so it should taste good for him.  With that  Bev placed her foot down on the sandwich pressing hard enough to force  his hand down on the floor again. Shelly laughed and kicked off the shoe  that wasn't standing on his hand and leaned over putting all her weight  on the ball of her foot on the hand that she had continue to stand on  and placed her barefoot on the sandwich and stood full weight on the  sandwich he was holding. Both Bev's shoe and Shelly's foot carried their  own distinctive heady scents. He was amazed again that they showed that  much disregard to his own personal space while looking and speaking to  him. No harm done he chuckled at least he thought when Shelly stood off  the sandwich hand he would be free to get up. Not so as she transferred  her weight off of the sandwich she had placed her shoe back on his  fingers with one foot and then shuffled around a little so she had both  of her feet planted on his hand and wrist. Bev then told him that he was  to go down to the front of the building and see if he could help the  ladies cross the lake in front of the doors to the building. When he  didn't move Bev said that's all I have for you now expecting him to  leave. Of course he couldn't as Shelly continued to pin his hand to the  floor full weight and there was a embarrassing couple of seconds that he  just stayed in place not moving. He was tugging on his hand trying to  free himself and she finally stepped off of him only because it either  didn't feel right or it was just time to shift positions. He then  quickly started out the door and Shelly said wait I want to go with you  so I can get some dry tennis shoes out of my car. He said fine he would  wait for her out in the hall while she went to get her purse. While  waiting in the hall he used this time to gobble down his long awaited  breakfast. As he had had been repeatedly exposed to both Shelly's and  Bev's foot sweat in the past 24 hours he could recognize the added  flavor that each had given it. Despite the additional flavoring the  sandwich felt good going down to his stomach, but could not keep from  visualizing both Bev's and Shelly's toes squishing the food as he ate  it. While still waiting for Shelly he also called down to the lobby and  ordered 32 Egg McMuffins + juice to be brought up to their office. As he  hung up the service phone on the wall Shelly came out with both Lexus  and Dawn saying we all want to go back to our cars to get dry shoes.  When he looked out the front door he decided that he would carry each of  the ladies across while he waded through the water. With the three  ladies on this side and a group of ladies on the other side watching a  few brave women either go barefoot through the water or with less  expensive shoes. He first carried Lexus across (she is small and petite)  and then picked up Jaime also fairly petite and carried her to the  office side. Both ladies saying a quick thank you. Then carried Dawn  who's average build to the parking lot side. He then picked up Tracey  and brought her to the office side. She was of medium stature but worked  out and had a lot of muscle so she was deceptively heavy.