I'd really prefer if someone else wrote my biography for me. I can't stand autobiographies because they invite you to assume they're more honest, when in reality it takes an unsustainable level of self-honesty to write one that's unbiased. In most cases, you end up with just a record of someone's attempt to control their own legacy. I don't think the world needs any more of those stories, so I'll just keep this short.
I wasn't the first Faunaherd. Most mortals don't know that, but the higher ranking elementals who were around prior to my creation obviously do. My creator, the first Faunaherd, was a kirin named Ma'Marro. She was -forgive my phrasing- a true force of nature, and a better representative of the animal kingdom than I could ever be. Everyone respected Ma'Marro: the animals, mortal races, even the elemental Lords. They respected her more than they respected Lady Euvine, even. She was a being whose roar could shake the world. If this all sounds like hyperbole, it is, but hyperbole is the most enduring facet of my creator's legacy among the other elementals. More enduring than myself, certainly.
I was never meant to be Ma'Marro's successor, merely an experiment in artificial life, an elemental sculpted from ivory and ebony into the shape of a mortal. It was no secret that Ma'Marro envied the angels and sought the secret behind their seemingly perfect melding of mortal and elemental, but despite her talent and resources, I was the closest she ever got. In some ways, I am mortal: I can eat, sleep, breathe, process and exude energy from the natural world in a way that mortals do... but I don't need to do any of that. I've had to train myself to do these things so that I can better understand the mortal experience. And there are still parts of my 'biology' that I don't understand, where the lines really start to blur (to Ma'Marro's credit, I think she got closer to sculpting an angel than she realized. ...Wow, that sounds conceited of me to say.)
But ultimately I am an elemental, immortal, an unnatural imitation of natural life just like the rest. I've always tried to compensate for my not-quite-mortality through dedicating my life to helping advance mortal research of the natural world, because that sort of thing just comes naturally to me. I've been told I'm a good listener, for what that's worth. And I was content with that life, even if it wasn't exactly the role my creator had in mind for me. But Ma'Marro's story is itself a great reminder that nature is always shaped by unexpected developments of all sizes.
I think everyone, including Ma'Marro, thought she would live forever- so powerful was her presence. But she disappeared, and that story is best saved for its own volume. Overnight, I was left to carry on her legacy. That was centuries ago, so far in the past that most mortals have forgotten her name, but her influence continues through every creature and race that still lives. My job has been to reconcile with that influence. It's been an impossible task that I nonetheless must face for as long as I live. All I can say to my credit is that throughout my duties, I've done my utmost to balance her teachings with my own lived experience, to respect both the unforgiving and the delicate sides of animal life. In doing so, I've made unforgiveable mistakes: I've meddled in mortal affairs and caused tragedies that still clearly echo through today and into the future; I've inspired scholars to seek the truth, even at the cost of their own precious lives; My mere existence has validated necromancy and other such cruel attempts at creating artificial life by mortals; and most blatantly, by attempting to maintain a dialogue between the mortal and elemental realms, I've consistently failed to please both. They call me the Faunaherd, but I am neither the herd nor the fauna, just an imposter trying to hold together the systems put in place by a master who was far larger than life itself.
Wow, that turned out to be more depressing than intended. Note to self - work on another draft tomorrow, after the orphanage visit. Just because you want it to be honest, doesn't mean it has to be depressing. Last thing I need is even more people offing themselves because of me, honestly.
Teetertootertatertot
2023-08-12 11:06:36 +0000 UTC