Second Chances

That weekend the same photographer booked with me again! He said the photos had come out amazing and he couldn't wait to show me. I told him I would take him to the other most beautiful place in the world. I curteously reminded him it would be $140 this time since he didn't have enough last time. We agreed to meet at the location this time. It was open (to me) farmland along the ridge of a mountain overlooking the town below. There was a dirt road that led from one abandoned barn to another, and lots of ancient majestic oak trees with sweeping views. Technically, it was somebody's property, but that never stopped me. We had to climb a chain link fence that said "no trespassing", but it didn't mean it. I explained this to the photographer who was suddenly very put off by the idea of hopping this little fence that I even had foot holes in for easy access. I popped over and he handed me his gear while he loved around nervously and finally followed. I immediately disrobed, and told him to take pictures of me hiking up this mountain from behind while I'm in just by ugg boots. Then I climbed a moss covered oak, but much like the cats who half raised me, I found it impossible to get back down.. I crawled around from every angle, but it was hopeless.. I would break something jumping from this height. My feet began to hurt tremendously, a strange mind-body association from my 6 year old self who often woke up in the middle of the night and jumped off the balcony of the second story down onto a cushy couch below. After many successful "flights", I had one miss.. I misses the couch, landed on my feet, and not wanting to wake everyone up and get in trouble, I suffered the terrible pain perfectly silent. Always just HAD to learn the hard way. Like how you shouldn't ask a strange older man to help you out of a tree when you are a naked young lady. Anyhow, I cried out,  "Ow! OW my feet hurt!" And he thought I was getting bitten by ants. No, it's my nervous system, I don't like heights and thinking about falling. "Well, come over here, and I'll help you down, come stand on my shoulders and I'll lower you." I saw that he looked very excited and I started to get another bad feeling. In my gut. But I backed it on up and dangled my feet down while I hugged the tree trunk. I was still to far up to reach him, and I said, "I'm gonna have to fall a little.." He said it's ok, I gotcha! So I let go and crunched his head and shoulders a bit with my feet and he grabbed my calves and I clawed the truck, and down I went, and he had my thighs then, his face to my butt.. and he just held me there like that clinging against the tree. Ok, you can put me down! And he says nothing, and is just still and breathing heavily against my backside. "Are you okay?" And he finally lets me slide the rest of the way down the tree. I am a little scraped up, nothing unusual, and I decide to quickly get a purposeful distraction going to change his mindset. I run into the abandoned barn and start posing against the mossy old wood planks. He is taking pictures and then tells me he actually brought more money for me, $300, in fact, and he wanted to try something different. He was going to set up a tripod and a timer and pose with me. "Pose with me, like how?" I questioned. "Don't worry, I'll be fully clothed and im not going to touch you. Im going to stand in front of you and it will look like im touching you, but I won't even be close." Ok.. I say, that's fine. I really liked the idea of $300 and not being touched. So he sets up the camera and shows me exactly where and how to stand. He wants me to "tilt my head back in ecstasy". Ok.. I do it. He runs to the camera, sets the timer, and then, two feet closer to the camera, but facing me, he gets down on his knees, puts his head forward and sticks out his tongue... From the camera angle it looks like he's going down on me. Im annoyed, but I don't say anything and let it go on. He keeps checking the camera and repositioning until he's satisfied with his shot. I'm uncomfortable with this, but i don't show it at all. Instead I tell him of a beautiful spot with the most incredible view that I want photos in front of. He follows me there and we take the pictures I like and then I lie down and do some poses on the ground, on a old wooden pallet in the tall grass overlooking valleys and mountains beyond. Im sure they were beautiful shots. Then he says he wants to take some close ups. He is taking them very specifically between my legs and again Im uncomfortable, but don't say so. "Can I lick you?" He asks desperately. "No, sorry, I'm flattered, but no thank you." But he doesn't stop, "Please? This is my fantasy, and you look so beautiful. Just one lick?" He's above me already and I can see he has a boner in his pants. "No thank you, I don't really like that." He persists, "Come on, just one little lick for half a second and i won't ever ask again." I swallow and say ok, even though I'm feeling like it's so not ok, but I'm out here alone feeling like this could turn into something worse.. it will only be a second and then he'll let me up and we're done and I'll have $300 towards rent. And so he does, but it's more like 5 seconds and I push him off and he looks creepier and a little angry, so I say,  "Wow! Thank you, what a magical day! Im SSI glad i could make your dream come true, and that you're going to have all these beautiful pictures to use in my portfolio. You know my real dream is to be an actress, I'm quite good at it, a skill I learned from my Grandmother. It was also her dream to be an actress.." and I DONT STOP talking. I start picking up his things and handing them to him, and start walking back down the hill and motion him to follow. I babbled on the whole walk back to our cars. He just listens and his face never shows any emotion. He pays me, and I leave with a final thank you. Not the treatment he deserved now that life has taught me in so, so many hard ways how to say "No." I never worked with him again, of course, and I never recieved any photos from either of my first two nude shoots. A normal girl would go right back to waitressing. I did not. I amended my modeling ad to say, "absolutely no touching, no exceptions".