Pepe Le Peau

I recall once upon a tinder date, long ago, I went to a house party with a French exchange student studying quantum physics. I fancied myself a self learner of such theories. We talked for hours about electro magnetic fields, mind body connections and the infinite possibilities of the future. Despite my being very intellectually stimulated, I wasn't particularly interested in him romantically. He made it very clear that he was, and me being who I was couldn't figure out how to politely let him down.  While we were having tea in his kitchen, he dramatically grabbed my tea cup from my hand and the it in the sink, and grabbed me and in one motion tilted me backwards off balance and into his arms and kissed me deeply. My bright red lipstick was everywhere within minutes. I kept pulling back and not really kissing back, trying to end it, but he wasn't taking my entirely too subtle gesture of disinterest. Finally, I spoke up, "I'm so sorry, but I actually have to go home now.." he didn't stop kissing my neck, and I realized we were playing out the Pepe le Peau and fancy black cat with no interest in a French skunk archetypes. I pushed back on his chest and squirmed a bit and he held me tighter and though he was a petite man, he picked me right up in his arms, and never stopped kissing me sho that I could hardly breathe and walked right into his bedroom and plopped me down on his mattress on ther floor. He was heavy on top of me and I caught my breath and said again, "I really have to go right now, I'm sorry to disappoint." And as if I hadn't spoken at all he came down on me lips first smashing them against my tightly closed mouth. He was not discouraged. "Stay with me" he whispered in whst he imagined was a seductive plea. At this point I started to feel a bit panicked and pushed him like I would push Addicus (my giant half draft horse-son) when he is being naughty, with all my might, and pop, like a barnacle on a slippery whale he just sort of flew off the bed to the not so distant floor and I jumped up and fled full speed out the door, and I heard him jump up behind me and he shouted in a PERFECT Pepe Le Peau voice, "She has escaped!" It was both disturbing and hilarious, tipping slightly more to the hilarious side since I have endured much worse than a little French man who can't stop kissing me.