Hypnotherapy Hoax

These photographs were taken by my God friend and local photographer @pop_tart_anarchy, who was actually the first professional photographer I ever worked with, and clearly a gifted artist. He also took video and many more sets with me andDiandra Godiva! Coming swoon..

   I believe it was around Christmas two years ago that I found a gig on craigslist for "Hypnotherapy Model". A simple ad that paid $100/hr for 2 to 3 hour sessions in a town about an hour away. If the first session was successful, it would be an ongoing gig, up to three sessions per week. I was too be filmed while under and walking up from hypnosis to document the effectiveness of this doctor's treatments. I immediately imagined myself in a professional studio, lights, camera, hypnosis.. Of course, I had my doubts about hypnosis. I never believed it to be real that one person could manipulate the thoughts and actions of a semi conscious individual. It always seemed like the hypnosis "patients" were faking it, or playing along just to please the crowd or not let down the hypnotist. 

  We spoke through email and set a date. I was disappointed top arrive at an office building of psychiatrists and architects with little old offices. This would be a private setting. I knocked on the door and waited a couple minutes before knocking again. I heard someone moving about in the office behind the door and peeped through ther crack to spy an old man hurriedly stacking papers and fluffing pillows on a couch. I knocked again. He stood up straight, his blue eyes as shocking as the white walkers in Game of Thrones. I stood up and smiled, ready to introduce myself. He slowly opened the door with a bow and directed one hand towards the couch. The room, he explained, was rented from a friend of his, also a psychologist (later I learned this wad his wife's office). Cats.. everywhere... Cat portraits on the wall, a felix the cat ticking clock, stacks from the floor to about 3 feet high of "Cat Fancy Magazine", sculpted metal cat book ends, cat figurines on every surface.. The pillows on the couch are plain until I spy the the opposite sides are needlepoint cats.. He introduced himself as Doctor "Oscar" (we'll call him), and had a seat across from me in an antique corduroy armchair. "Let me tell you about myself, and my project. Im the state appointed Psychologist for San Quentin Prison, and after nearly 40 years of working intimately with inmates, I feel I have created a therapy through hypnosis that can reform inmates so they may be reinstated as valuable members of society. Now the state refuses to acknowledge my efforts and is going to pull my funding after 40 years of faithful service of trying to make this world a better place... My presentation was nearly perfect, I realized I was just missing a beautiful model to get their attention, and prove to them my system works! So you will be filmed through the entire session should you agree to join me " He looks down and shakes his head in dramatic injustice, then coyly looks up to meet my eyes with his. They are truly other worldly in a frightening way. How could I refuse being part of trying to make the world a better place? How could I have known his morbid secret agenda? 

  I sign stacks of paperwork without reading anything beyond the first page. I use my stage name I use for all my modeling and stripping, "Suzette Cherie", and I change a couple numbers on my social security number which I couldn't imagine why he would need, make up a home address, the usual. I see no benefit of giving people my tak contact information unless they are a true friend and I've invited them over for dinner. Contracts mean nothing to me. Im a constantly growing, evolving person and I only sign things for the feigned sense of security it brings others. The reality is, I'll do whatever is best to do as circumstances change and avoid the hoity toity legal consequences as usual. Try and sue me, it's about as fruitful as squeezing blood from a stone. And yes, people and corporations pretending to be people have tried and given up. Im a hard woman to keep track of =). 

  He adjusts the video camera sitting on a tripod in front of me and presses record. First he asks me to tell him about myself as he puts on his glasses, and puts his pen to a lined yellow writing pad. "I just turned 25, (I had just turned 26, but the ad requested 25 or younger) and I own a clothing line where I create custom couture bridal, dresses, burlesque costumes and swimsuits for women around the world. I also model nude in beautiful outdoor locations all over Northern California (He stops writing and looks up for a moment, curiously delighted). I have a beloved kitten named Mae West, and two horses; Addicus and Blue Jasmine. I plan on using the money I make to open a horse rescue that is supported by a wedding venue." I smiled brightly at him, and he didn't look up, "continue.." he motioned his pen in circles, urging me on. "I grew up in Sonoma County, the most magical, beautiful, expensive place on Earth. My parents started an art gallery when I was exactly one year old. They were very busy, so mostly my grandparents raised me, but they would let me dance in the giant bay windows in front of the paintings when I was at the gallery to lure people in." He looked up with a smile again "Hmmmm" he wrote furiously, scribbling down something on his notepad. "My grandfather was a door to door Door salesman! He took me and Marcia, my grandmother, on all his business trips and we stayed in fancy hotels and flew first class!" He interrupted, "So, you enjoy travel?" I sure do, I told him. "And would you consider yourself a good traveling partner?" It was a suspicious question. "I would say it could be my profession, I help my best friend and get boyfriend plan and live through all their vacations." He wrote that down too. "Do you have any upcoming vacations planned in the next three months?" No. "Do you have a current, valid passport?" How strange, but I responded honestly, "No." He looked annoyed. "Why not?" This was clearly important to him. "My ex-husband burned it.." His wildly thick white eyebrows jumped up his forehead. "You were married and divorced? Ohhh. Hmm.." he writes it down. "It's very important to have up to date identification documents, you can get a new passport at the post office." I nodded my head in agreement, but of course I had no intentions of leaving Sonoma County and a passport was low priority. "Alright, Suzette, well we're going to begin hypnosis therapy now. Are you comfortable? Perhaps you'd like to remove your coat?" Sure, I wiggle out of my vintage mink fur coat and expose my beautiful winter dress with glittering pinecones. Then, he literally pulls a pocket watch on a chain from his chest pocket and begins swinging it back and forth in front of my face. I know better than to smile, he's serious, and if I'm to turn this into a three hour session three times a week, (that's $3600/month working 9 hours a week!), then I really need to milk this situation and be the perfectly convincing actress I was meant to be! I follow the stop watch back and forth in all seriousness, only my eyes are moving, dating back and forth in perfect unison with the swinging watch. "As the watch face seedings back and forth, all your thoughts about today and all days previous fade away.." he says it in a practiced soft, dreamy tone, that I find almost too funny to keep a straight face while hearing. But I'm a professional and my face does not betray me. "All those worries, all those desires, just easily fading away as if flowing down a river. All your focus is now on the sound of my voice and the steady sway of the watch..." He is watching my face with such intensity, searching for signs of... signs of what? What is he seeking in me? Sleepiness? Sure. Submission? Obviously. Already I can tell this old man is on a furious mission, something bigger than his story of continued funding for his prison patient reform hypnotherapy.. He's incredibly creepy looking, a clear outer reflection of his inner self. "Your eyes are getting so heavy.... Yes.... Such tired eyes... No thoughts. As you fall deeper and deeper into a state of semiconsciousness... That's it.." I relax my eyes, and verrrrrry slowly I get every closer to closing them. But I can't make this too easy for him, he'll know I'm only playing along. So I occasionally pop them back open a little, only to let them dramatically fall into a full close. His face is frantic whenever I start to open them again and he softly, but hurriedly repeats, "Your getting so very tired, so sleepy... Your eyes are closing and there's no will in you to fight it. You just let them close, feeling relief from their great heaviness." And again, I let them "close", but not really because I don't trust this crazy old bastard for one second. I wonder if he has a tranquilizer syringe and plans to stab me in the neck with it as soon as I close my eyes so he can kidnap and rape me. He looks the part and he's very clearly getting excited as he believes I have fallen under his hypnosis. "As you fall deeper and deeper, your body is numb, your mind is blank. Your jaw relaxes and drops open.." I am not a mouth breather and I do not drop my jaw. His eyes narrow as he intently watches my mouth. "Your jaw relaxes and your mouth droops open, and a little drool may escape, but it doesn't matter..." no. Im not doing that. "As you fall deeeeeeper and deeeeeeper into relaxation your jaw relaxes and-" He's not letting this one go, apparently it's a must.. I slowly, slightly open my not so relaxed, very annoyed jaw. He grins and even his ice blue eyes are glittering. "You start to drool as you fall deeper and deeper into a state of relaxation." This fucking guy... I am rolling my third eye like it's tumbling down a hill.. but my face is perfectly blank. It's a survival skill I learned growing up with an extremely reactive mother who analyzed every facial expression and vilified them, herself the victim to my "cruelty". I learned to keep a perfectly straight face NO MATTER WHAT. And now it was a highly developed and useful skill. Then he pretends like he's going to slap me just to make sure im not really playing opossum. Of course I recognize this as a test, and don't flinch. He does it again for good measure. He sits back in his chair and begins scribbling on his note pad. "You notice your fingers are getting lighter and lighter, until they start to raise and pull your hands and arms up and into the air, higher and higher." I've never been one to follow suggestion and these are terribly annoying trials for me. I don't make it easy. Maybe I can drag this into a four hour $400 session... "Lighter, and lighter.." nothing happens. "LIGHTER AND LIGHTER as if a balloon was tied to each of your fingers, lifting them effortlessly into the air..." He glares at my hands, and I let one finger.. twitch! His eyebrows fling up and his grin is viciously excited. "Yesssss... lighter and lighter... higher and higher..." Another finger pops up! And another, and another! He's at the edge of his seat, leaning in towards me, his typical old man cat poop breath polluting my drooling airways.. One hand lifts a few inches of the couch and HIS jaw drops. His white Caterpillar eyebrows pinch together in his ultimate focus. "Both hands now raise, lifted by your fingers, higher, higher... higher.." I raise them with tedious tension so that it takes a full five minutes for my hands to gradually rise above my head. "VERY GOOD GIRL! Now.. your fingers have magnets inside of each pointer finger, and they are now magnetized to each other, pulling together with such force that there is nothing you can do to keep them apart". I achingly slowly point my pointer fingers towards each other, centimeter by centimeter.. Again he leans in studying my stupidified face then my fingers, abs back and forth, smiling then concentrating. Eventually I let them touch, and in a dramatic sigh, I fall back into the couch, hands collapsed at my side. The truth is holding your arms in the air, with such resistance is pretty draining and I was very much done with this exercise. "You have been such a good and obedient girl. Im very pleased with your progress.  We're going to move on to some simple commands". I can tell by the easy he calls me an obedient girl that this is going no where professional. "Okay, here we go..", he reads from his notes, "When I say the command "Freeze" you will stop whatever you are doing, talking or moving, and fall immediately into the deepest state of unconciousness remaining completely motionless and unaware of everything, until I use the command "Unfreeze" at which point you will resume whatever speech or action you previously stopped, without any knowledge that a moment has passed between". At the time I remember this being a sort of difficult concept to grasp and I wad just hoping I would portray these highly suspicious commands accurately. "Alright, I'm going to bring you out of hypnosis and into a fully concious state where only your subconscious will remember these commands. Suzette, I'm going to count backwards from ten. As I get closer to one, you will feel more and more awake and alert, when I reach one, you will be fully awake with no conscious knowledge of ever having been under hypnosis. And Ten.. you are beginning to feel your fingers tingle... Nine.. you are aware of your heart beating in your chest.. Eight.. you recognize noises in the room like the ticking of my clock.. Seven.. Your eyelids are feeling lighter.. Six.. You hear the passing of cars outside.. Five.. You are sitting up straight, becoming aware of your whole body now... Four.. You begin to slowly own your eyes.. Three.. Shut your mouth.. (finally..) Two.. Your eyes open.. and One! You are fully conscious.... Oh hi, Suzette, you just woke up from your first journey into hypnosis. Do you remember anything?" I look equally surprised and confused, "When? Just now?" He smiles like a man who got away with murder. "Yes, Suzette. Are you sure you don't remember anything? Try hard to think back.." I put a look of astounded awe on my face and decide this old man is going to loooove my Marilyn bit. "Well.. gee.. that's odd. I mean just a few seconds ago I was telling you about myself.. and then..."  He's looking up from his notepad expectantly, "Yesssss???" I dart my eyes back and forth as if searching for something in my mind. "Well, that's all, then you just said you had woke me up from hypnosis only a few seconds later.." He smiles like a kid who has gotten away with something. "Good, very good, as expected. Now, tell me a story about yourself.." Just a few days prior, I had danced around a giant outdoor Christmas tree in front of Bank of America in San Francisco, completely naked. That's a funny one.. "Well, just last week a photographer hired me to walk around downtown San Francisco, completely naked! I passed in the streets, on people's front steps and walked down busy sidewalks, even crossed the street totally nude! Everyone loved it, of course and people peeked their heads out shop doors! I posed dramatically, pressing myself against a Starbucks window to amuse the people inside. I even danced around -" He interrupts me with a sudden shout, "FREEZE!" Shit.. which was that one again? Oh yeah, play obedient zombie. Mouth slightly open, body limp back against the couch. Eyes "closed" but actually just barely peeking through my giant false eyelashes which make a nice invisibility shield. I see that his eyes are watering and his jaw is quaking. I wonder how many girls he's been through that he was never able to hypnotize, or perhaps were less desperate than myself and just walked out, probably calling him a weirdo, unwilling to play along. I imagine that the prisoners are clever enough to play along with his "therapy" claiming behavioral redemption, their miracle ticket out of lock up... Has this truly ever worked on anyone to change behaviors and make people mindless obedient slaves to the hypnotist puppeteer? 

   Then he reaches for my face and forcefully opens my jaw further. I don't resist or flinch. He puts one hand on top of my head and sticks my middle finger of my other hand on my wide open mouth. "UNFREEZE!" I almost accidentally laughed out loud, and let me tell you, never has someone made or so difficult for me to keep character.. and it gets oh so much worse.. I "come to" with a disturbed look of shock and embarrassment on my face. "OH, uhmm.. excuse me! That's weird, sorry! Anyways-" He also keeps character, as if nothing odd has happened at all, starting nonchalantly as his notepad, "Oh quite alright, please, continue.." I shake my head a little, looking like a proper dumb blonde, which is exactly what he's been praying for. I get even more innocently animated to make it all the more believable that im the sorry of person who just shrugs off suddenly finding her finger in her mouth and one hand on her head in the middle of speaking a sentence.. I gho right back on smiling, "lost" in my delightful memory, "So, I was dancing around the Bank of America Christmas Tree, bending over as I kissed the ornaments, twirling and skipping, and a woman runs and yells, "Oh my God! Is she ok!?" Then, a couple security guards come out I'd the bank, and I think, alright, gigs up, I better run! But! They both take out their phones and just start snapping pictures! Hahaha! Isn't that just the silliest thing!?" He smiles half heartedly, deeply distracted by something even more exciting.. "Oh, yes, quite.. " He still doesn't look up, "I'm going to guide you into a deeper state of hypnosis now, during which you will feel as if you've slept for a day and wake up completely refreshed, but it will be as if no time has passed. "Oh, that sounds nice, I sure do get sleepy on these cold overcast days.." He nods, and suddenly his eyes bug out and he yells, "FREEZE!" I go limp immediately. He hesitates, studying my body face to foot. He grabs one leg and lifts it to cross over the other, which throws me off balance, and being that im supposedly completely limp, I fall over on the couch. He panics and hesitates before he grabs my arm and shoulder and tugs me back into a sitting position. He scratches his forehead and stands up, pacing the tiny room back and forth, making strange faces as he's clearly debating something within himself. I am still and also very curious as to just how far he's going to push before I have to end the charade. He stops on his heel, turns towards his desk and grabs a mug, covered in dancing kittens and butterflies, and wraps my fingers around the handle. But I am limp, remember old man? So the second he lets go of my fingers, I let it fall and it crashes to the floor, the delicate handle, broken.. He silently curses himself and collects the pieces. I bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing, but tears are pooling in my eyes, threatening to betray my excellent portrayal of a girl in "the deepest state of hypnosis". He settles on lying me down on the couch and resting one arm over my face. He hurries to sit back at his armchair, settles himself with his notepad and yells, "UNFREEZE!". I utter, "whaaaaat in the?!" And I pull my arm from my face and gradually sit up, looking around. "Well.. Uhm.. did I just lie down?" He nods carelessly, "Mhmm that's quite alright, I think you're feeling sleepy.." I take the hint. "Oh.. yessss... these cold and overcast days just make me want to catnap with my kitten.. she's so warm and cuddly and she lets me rest my head on her soft belly as her purrs lul me to sleep. I have the best - "FREEZE!" I fall back limp on the couch. "UNFREEZE!" without skipping a beat, "-dreams when I sleep with my kitten! She came to me in the midst magical way! My roo- ", and he yells "FREEZE!" and I fall back again. "Suzette.. Listen to the sound of my voice. Can you hear me?" I don't know if I'm supposed to talk... Is this a trap? A test? I don't say anything.. "Suzette. Listen to your Master.." damn. I should have known it was going to turn into this crazy shit. Like my grandma always said, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is". I let my mouth hang open slightly, looking totally stupefied. "SUZETTE! I am your master, I command you to respond. Can you hear my voice?" Without moving my lips, I push out a zombie like "uhhhhhhh" and he jumps forward in his seat, thrilled! "Suzette! Listen to the sound of my voice... I have a new command for you. When you hear the word "LOOP" you will reverse in time by 10 seconds and continuously loop the past 10 seconds until I say, 'UNLOOP'." He sure is creative with his command words.. Ok, that doesn't sound that hard...? "Suzette, nod your head if you understand." I do. He writes it down. Then he jumps up excitedly and grabs another coffee mug, this one with little cats wearing santa hats! Don't make me break another kitty mug... He takes my limp hand and wraps my fingers around the handle again. "Suzette. Do NOT let go of this mug, no matter what I say when you are conscious, and no matter how hard you try to set this mug down, you cannot let go of the handle. Do you understand?" I don't say anything. He eyes me suspiciously. "SUZETTE, DO NOT LET GO OF THIS MUG, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? RESPOND." And in a miraculous state of calm, I do not let escape a single giggle as I drag out a long "Uhhhhhhhh... hhhhuuuhhhhhhh...." He is satisfied. Ever so gently he lets go of my hands, and quickly drops his own below the mug, just in case! But I don't let go... All he had to do was ask! I was keeping track of hypnosis logic better than he was. "UNFREEZE!" And this time I pretend not to even notice the mug in my hand and perfectly carry on where I left off, "mmates found her under a tarp at the tip top of a mountain at an abandoned house! She crept out from beneath the tarp, crying, just a skinny little motherless baby! My roommates were on their morning walk and though they thought she was cute, the were a bit "national geographic" about it and decided not to interfere with nature. She cried at their feet, begging for help! They walked away, and she followed them crying for nearly a mile all the way back home! Once they got to the door, amused that she was so persistent, they decided she should be given to me even though-" He interrupts abruptly, not as taken with my gripping origin story of Mae West as he should be. "Suzette... are you thirsty?" I think about it, as if it's a difficult question. I've been drawing out every moment whenever possible. It's been 2.5 hours since I arrived. I'd like to go for 4 hours. "Uhh.. no, not really, thank you for checking." He raises one eyebrow, "Then why are you holding an empty mug?" I look suddenly down at my hand, and shock spreads over my confused face.. "Oh! Uh.. Well I.. I don't remember picking it up.." I bring it closer to my face and study the santa cats. "Why don't you set it down on the table here?" I'm not supposed to.. This is a test. I ignore his request, and continue my story, holding the mug against my chest. "We weren't allowed to have cats at that house. She was so cold and skinny. She drank a whole bowl of water and I made her a cozy bed under my makeup vanity from my fuzzy-" He waves a hand at me, "Suzette? Did you hear me? I said, why don't you put down the mug I'd you're not thirsty?" I'm unsure of how to respond, so I say, "Actually, you know, I could use some water. Eggers the sink?" He's surprised, and he hesitates. "Well, ok, I'll show you where it is.. follow me". I stand up and follow him out the door, down the hall to a bathroom, and he points me to the sink. I fill the mug and take a moment to collect myself. I MUST NOT LAUGH! This is a very funny, easy money gig and I must not lose it. I open the door, serene and unconcerned. "Oh thank you, much better!" And I walk right past him back to the hallway. He doesn't follow, he yells, "LOOP!" Oh fuck... uh! 10 seconds ago!? I was like just in the bathroom finishing a glass of water, how do I get back there? Well there's only one way to do this.. I immediately zombify my face and lazily walk back to the bathroom, struggle with the doorknob, flipping my limp hands against it. He runs to the door and opens it for me gently holding his hand over mine and squeezing it around the knob, and turning until it opens. I stumble into the bathroom as he watches from the door, which he had left cracked just enough to peek through. As soon as I reach the mirror, I snap back into real time action, fill my mug, chug it down again, quite full, and suddenly noticing I need to pee... I straighten my dress in front of the mirror, turn on my heel and head to the door, pretending not to notice that the door   suddenly close. I open the door, "serene and unconcerned" and greet him in perfect replication, "Thank you, much better!" And walk past his jaw dropped face into the hallway, but.. he doesn't yell "UNLOOP".. and so I stop in exactly the same place I had been stopped before, turn around slowly, dead eyes, limp slowly back to the bathroom, "struggle" with the doorknob, let him help me with it, go to the mirror, and snap! Back to filling the mug.. chugging it... reluctantly.. I am so not thirsty at all, I NEED to pee! I walk back to the door which again falls closed just as I'm about to reach for the knob, greet him "Thank you, much better!" Let him watch me strut down the hallway.. and still! He doesn't yell UNLOOP! So I freeze, slowly turn, zombie walk to the bathroom, this time he opens the door before I struggle with it, watching me in awe as I go to the sink, snap back to it, and fill the fucking mug, and.. chug it down, regretfully.. I turn towards the door again and watch him retreat like a gopher from his peeping crack. I am considering "mindlessly" peeing as I walk the floor to teach him a lesson. But as I walk away after getting him he finally yells after me, "UNLOOP!" And I turn around immediately, "You know what? I think I need to use the restroom, excuse me! And I hurriedly walk back towards him, as he is still standing near the door. I'm three steps away when he yells, "FREEZE!" This fucking guy... I stand frozen and limp. He turns me around so that im facing the hallway again. "UNFREEZE!" I walk forward a couple steps, then halt in surprise and spin on my heel, "Excuse me!" And I run into the bathroom, secretly set down the mug, and pee in sweet relief.... I stay in there an extra minute and convince myself, it's worth it, I've been through worse for far less money. I can do this! I always wanted to be an actress, and this is better training than any acting school could provide. And im getting paid $100/hr!I pick up the stupid mug, open the door, and he's standing right there. "Ahh, so strange! I just really had to pee all the sudden!" And I walk past him to the office and walk in, not waiting for him. I sit on the couch, mug still in my hand.. I notice the video camera is still recording. He comes back and takes a seat in his armchair, smiling pleasantly. "Alright, Suzette, it's been three hours now, and I think you're an excellent model for this project, would you like to continue?" I look at the clock with surprise, "Three Hours! How odd! It feels like we've been here maybe thirty minutes!" He nods, eyes closed, smiling. "Yes, that's common. And how do you feel?" I light up, "Oh so refreshed, as if I slept a whole day! I think I'll go home and bake!" He chuckles lightly, "Well let's get you paid.." my heart leaps.. "Let's see the hours, that's $300, and I'll throw in dinner on me, why don't you get yourself your favorite meal tonight?" He adds $40 to the three hundred dollar bills. "Oh, and Suzette? What's your favorite snack?" I think it over for a second..  something expensive.. "Macadamia Nuts!" And I stand up, say my goodbyes and drive away, delighted with my pay, and not at all bothered by the foreshadowing of events to come. 

Next up! Tomorrow's tale- the hypnotist does a trial run of kidnapping me under "hypnosis" and taking me to Brazil to live out our slave and master destiny together..