Three Little Pigs

Your pledge directly supports the houses I rescue on @heartofgoldsanctuarysebastopol! Cooper is being adopted!  Also!!! Eeee! You guys! Because of your support I was finally able to buy a shelter for the horses and more wood chips to soak the mud and restore their home pasture to a grassy paradise! Thank you, thank you, thank you sooo much, from all the happy, dry horsies and my peace of mind. I can finally sleep when it rains.. Next on the wish list, new waterproof blankets and a trailer so that in the future we can pick up new rescues and deliver rehabilitated horses to their new adoptive parents!

Once I had three marriage proposals in one day. All very serious, with many consequences and all very sadly let down. To tell that story, I think, would be cruel, so I'll write about finding genuine love instead, and every time I think of that day, I wish you three little pigs to build a steady home in your own heart built on self love, clarity and joy, so a Big Bad Wolf like I once was can't deliver a death blow to it.

   For the first little piggy- How sweet your yearning for a love to make memories with, to indulge in the joys of passion with someone you can trust to love you as you are, no masks. You never filtered your words, quick to respond and always announcing your thoughts as they came to you. I knew exactly who you were, no guessing games. What a brave thing to be such an honest little pig. Too bad you couldn't be that honest with your wife, who probably loved you more than the girl you paid to pretend. I wish for you to be free from hiding from everyone around you. I know, for certain, with much experience, that is a terribly anxious way to live. Be exactly who you are, and if those who say they love you fall away, because they only loved who you were pretending to be for their comfort, then we were learning the same lesson together, old friend. 

  For the second little piggy-  You were a naughty, sly pig. You knew it, and though you plagued yourself with crippling anxiety, trying and failing to keep up with your many cover stories,  you really deeply wanted to be loved by many, and only because you fed on their validation to fill the void where your self worth should be. I heard such hurt in your feigned nonchalance as you recounted your wife's big idea to swing, and then found herself attracted to everyone but you. All the piglets attention in the world will not make that feel better. Your generous spirit, the love you shower in your words and your warmth and your worry for all the struggling piglets is a clear sign that you are truly good and deserving of someone's full attention.

  For the third little piggy- You must learn this! Where you spend your attention, meaning grows. When it comes too easy, meaning goes. You will find the depth and deliciousness of life if you stop puddle jumping, and dive! I know you are worried that if you get to deep with any one person, they will learn that you have... eep! Flaws! No one is perfect, and yet everyone is loveable. Sometimes.. ;^) You loved imperfect people, why wouldn't you believe people could love an imperfect you? The challenges within each person you meet make them interesting. I only remember you because you were so deeply... interesting! So quit thinking about yourself and how people see you, and start just being yourself and see how suddenly there is so much more to love! Like would you rather be a single scoop of vanilla, palatable by most, but not memorable, or could you be a banana split with cookie dough and peanut butter chocolate fudge brownie and mint chocolate truffle with caramel sauce and hot fudge and a whole bottle of whip cream and candied nuts and multiple cherries and a brownie on the side and... yeah, be that! Everybody is intrigued by that, so much depth of flavor there...

  And now I have finally realized that im only 5 minutes from my favourite local fancy handmade ice cream and pie shop and THAT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER!!!!!!!!

  also.. Sorry I wore a mask that made me seem like I loved you back, that's was a very survivalist thing to do and not at all what I want to put forth into our emotional atmosphere. Everybody be free! =)