Drop-Out, page 105

this page was originally going to be 2. i decided to try to crunch 3 pages of work in a week to make up for the fact that page 106 and 107 will be cliffhanger pages.

this scene was originally very similar in events to the previous scene; sugar's meltdown was when lola asked her if she felt guilty.
it was a late change; after consolidating the story to have 1 less day, for the time progression i wanted, it was better to push the scene where sugar is forced to confront her guilt earlier, and have a quiet scene before the canyon.
some snippets from the old script:
"lola: can i ask you something, since i answered?
sugar: shoot.
lola: … don’t you feel guilty?
sugar: no. i’ll be too dead to feel guilt.
lola: well, you’re not dead yet. don’t you feel guilty right now?
sugar: …
sugar: do you?
lola: i...
lola: …
lola: do you think what we’re doing is, isn’t fair?
sugar: would it be more fair to make someone suffer for the sake of, of stupid emotional attachments?
lola: i don’t know…
sugar: like, of course i wish there was a better way than this. of course i don’t want to know, / that my parents are going to never sleep again / without thinking of everything they could’ve said better to their baby. of course i feel guilty!!
sugar: but living like this is, is torture!
sugar: i hate being ashamed all the time! i hate being numb all the time! i hate being angry, and sad, and empty, and afraid, all the time!! for fuck’s sake, i can’t even be in love without feeling disgusting!"

"sugar: fuck! [she starts crying and presses her face into the wheel]
lola:
sugar: why did angel leave me, lola?
lola: i don’t know…
lola: … it was their choice. right?
sugar: … i’m sorry.
lola: i understand.
sugar:
sugar: … you know, lola? you’re always putting other people before yourself. maybe you just feel guilty because you’re doing something selfish for once.
lola: i dunno...
lola: it’s only fair to be selfish when it doesn’t cause pain… i always tell myself, the right thing to do is whatever causes the least pain, or helps relieve the most pain.
sugar: then the answer should be easy for you.
lola: // yeah."