fresh meat, page 52

i feel like i should have more to say about this page, but i wore myself out finishing it before typing any kind of commentary.

this page accomplishes a few things: it establishes some influence in sugar's decisions and thought processes in drop-out; it shifts the conversation from carmilla and sugar to kim and sugar; and it injects some exposition about the ward itself.
the first purpose could have been cut entirely because it isn't relevant to THIS story's goals. the second 2 could have happened 2 pages earlier by simply entering the conversation when kim and sugar start talking. i guess i waste a lot of time fostering this sense of "organic" existence within the narrative. ultimately it's a preferential choice.
even though i know what creates technically correct writing, if i made decisions only based on what, in the moment, feels technically correct, the stories would come across as "flat" in the end. by "flat" i mean emotionless -- stories need to engage with the sensory experience of a reader regardless of their purpose. basically, they need to be enjoyable. projecting what will be enjoyable for your audience can be challenging if you alienate your goals too much from what feels natural.
anyway, i try to keep in mind that i want to have something i can at least be somewhat proud of by the end, and not just because of the raw amount of effort necessary to draw x amount of panels.

i could also talk all day about carmilla's motivations in this scene. originally, tabitha was going to respond to "she reminds me of myself at her age" with "i don't think that's true. i think you're trying to debate with her like you tried to debate with me at dinner. you're using a-- you're doing it right now, you're still trying to be persuasive." this then segued into the same reaction from carmilla, and tabitha going on to say the rest of her lines.
i ultimately cut it because it already felt extravagant to be writing and drawing this conversation. it would have given more continuous clarity to tabitha's motivations here, and i wanted to tweak that bit a dialogue a bit to imply some stuff about her family, but it just felt like i had to draw the line somewhere.

either way, i feel like carmilla's stated motivation wasn't entirely accurate. i think she definitely saw the same mindset she may have had before, but she didn't come at it from a place of empathy. she didn't like her own decisions up to this point and she therefore didn't like sugar's now, but sugar is pliable.
adults manipulate younger folks pretty regularly, for convenience, satisfaction, out of frustration, fatigue -- there's a lot of reasons, it doesn't really matter. it's often brief, it's really easy to do, we know exactly how they think already, and the ramifications can be quite profound and far-reaching without ever feeling bad about it as long as you avoid introspection. carmilla did something i consider common and normal.
so whatever her reasons were, i don't really find them sympathetic -- the important part is her reaction to tabitha challenging her. i think people need open and compassionate reminders about colloquial manipulations of power like this from their peers. we learn what ways to think by example, and i don't think anybody is ever perfect in every moment, but people introspect more if they know somebody else will compel them to do it if they don't on their own time. some people feel extremely entitled to use this power ebcause they've internalized it as a given right for being superior to other people, though.

after that point tabitha is just explaining that sugar is in college, and seems pretty young. even though she is technically an adult, tabitha thinks that people tend to need a few years of adjusting to considering other adults -- mainly older ones -- their peers instead their bosses. she's probably saying this half because she thinks it's insightful and clever and she thought of it herself, and half because this is a way to explain to carmilla that regardless of her motivations, she needs to talk to sugar differently from someone the same age as herself or tabitha is going to continue to bother her, because her opinion will be taken as a fact or a command.
funnily, it's debatable whether kim started the conversation with sugar by questioning carmilla's authority BECAUSE she heard the gist of tabitha explaining this.

carmilla's overall character arc (since they all get one of sorts) is an... interesting one. i'm not sure if it'll fit intuitively with her behavior in this scene, or any of the scenes she's in, but it's supposed to, so i'll probably keep this one in mind especially when that scene comes up.

that said, i don't think i have anything else to really say about this one. i just think it's really interesting when characters make "mistakes."