patreon paused (hiatus)

hello folks, it's been dark for a bit. i'll cut to the meat immediately: i am pausing this campaign so that no one is charged for next month or december. the pause may extend past december, but i won't know how resilient i am until i get there.
i am not reverting my account back to patron-only status because i would like to work on some art and publish it to the relevant tiers while on hiatus knowing that they aren't for any specific deadlines or schedule, but you won't be charged for them. i will not unpause the campaign until i feel happy with my ability to work and function of my own free will again.
i'll also be unable to issue any further refunds until resuming the campaign because patreon has a very ill-thought-out cash-out/cash-in system that does not favor refunding people at all, buuuut if you'd like one, i will provide it at that point, so keep your (metaphorical) receipts handy.
this does also unfortunately mean that i won't be working on due commissions any further until i am better, and i may be slow about responding to messages.

anyway, with that out of the way, i am very sick from this eating disorder, so that's the explanation. i am sorry that i can't give a more definitive date for when i will be better, but recovery programs are very clear about not giving any sort of specific timeline because everyone is different (and hard numbers will only increase the chances of imminent relapse or total failure to recover).
i've been keeping weekly updates on my tumblr, but as a summary: i actually HAVE been improving, it's just slow. i've escalated from 500 calories and liquids only during the tail-end of last month to about 3,500 per day. this seems like a lot, but it is necessary to recover.
i am actually eating and drinking much more than the average person needs to due to the excess need for nutrients and energy to repair damage, which means i've also been spending more time cooking, monitoring, eating, etc. (have to eat a meal about once every 2 hours). i have not, in fact, gained any actual weight from this besides pounds of water from rehydration, which probably makes it more evident than anything that my health has been pretty far off from "fine" for quite a while.
so far, my sleep has just started to stabilize to a more normal level of about 7 hours per day in the past couple of days; up until that point, i could only sleep for 2-4 hours per night on most nights still (which became more stable and consistent with the increases in calories), which is common for starved individuals. this means i've been starting to reach an equilibrium with my energy needs. i haven't even really been able to rest due to how strongly bodies react to an emergency, but it seems like i will probably start to be able to soon.

i wanted to put in this notice with a folie a dupe strip i've been working on, but it's quite long, and i didn't really want to publish it cut in half. instead, i will just post a preview for now.

thanks, apologies again, and happy halloween.