december update

hey folks. i haven't updated at all, but, no charges for this month either. i figured i would update now that i still haven't drawn anything a week into the month.

things felt like they were getting better near the end of last month and then i made a really big decision that i don't really feel was a bad one in the long run but probably not well-timed: i quit smoking, not just cigarettes but everything nicotine. haven't picked it up again for just short of 3 weeks now and all the nicotine is long out of my system by now, but some symptoms i've been having have been making it hard to function at all. and by "function" i mean i haven't been able to eat much at all in the last couple of weeks.
i went to an ER and the EKG came back normal (although... they couldn't get it to work right and just said they'd "sharpen" the results instead of trying to get the machine to work again). the only thing wrong with my blood was some elevated liver levels but the doctor definitely thought i was only there because i was high (despite no results on my blood tests for it). now i have a second opinion evaluation with a clinic in like a week and a regular first appointment with a GP at the end of the month.

still don't know what's wrong, but i do feel like there's something wrong, still. it seems like my wife's the only one who believes me about this, but her opinion is important to me, as the only person i know anymore who's lived with me for years and known me for years longer than that, she knows what's abnormal for me and what isn't.

i still don't want to unpause this campaign until i'm better enough to work for a bit first. i might take a few commissions elsewhere though as food necessitates money (i was originally going to take some for an anniversary gift for my wife, but i've been too sick to even reliably get those done, so i guess it's more serious than i was expecting).

anyway, that's my update, sorry it's not better news