life update

hi everyone. it's unorthodox to post on shabbat, but i would rather just write out the subject matter now for anyone who doesn't use tumblr much.

i had to euthanize my dog Mawkish today after her seizures broke through the medication she was on and escalated over the course of three days.
i have barely had any sleep over those days, with a couple of hours here or there interrupted by being woke up and told she's had an even worse seizure. before that, for the last month and a half, i've been giving her medication to control the seizures every 8 hours -- this schedule isn't really... conducive to getting a nice 8-7 hours of sleep.
you might have also noticed a slow decline in my posting frequency (sans the idletry posting) -- it's mostly mirrored a decline in mawkish's health. i had to take her to more appointments and provide more care to her as she developed more needs.
all of those are factors that have affected me lately, and the grief over losing her so suddenly is intense. i form much stronger attachments to animals than people because you can wholeheartedly love them without the fear of being exploited.

the factors will mix in ways i can't predict, but it will undoubtedly NOT add up to me working on catharsis. i'm either going to be unmotivated to work on art at all for some time, or i'm going to work a lot on idletry -- i'm hoping it's the latter, as i want to stick to my usual routine as much as i can to normalize. bare minimum is that i will need to just take some time to physically recover from the last few days.
i'm not going to force work on anything for a bit here, though, and i AM posting this to say that because i will NOT hold it against Anyone for unpledging during that time period, you have been given advance warning. I genuinely do not look at my pledges page and i do not keep track of people who unpledge.

thanks for your patience. she was a good dog and a lot of people cried today for her because she lit up every room she was in and loved on every person she was around.