What's Going On & Where We're At

Heya everyone,

I'd hoped to have a build out long before now, but isn't that always the way? In the past week or two, I've finally seen the bigger picture and come to terms with the fact that what I've been dealing with this entire time is nothing more or less than good old depression. It's easy remain ignorant to that fact, associating depression with some sort of "sadness", but the truth I should already have known is that more than not, depression is merely intense apathy. Much of this is my own doing, ever since starting work on Sileo full time, I've been living a fairly isolated existence. As an introvert, I don't mind this and much of it is by choice, but a lack of social contact takes it toll, even if it does so at such a glacial pace you don't notice it happening. This is all made much worse by my failure to maintain good habits and a proper routine, by money struggles, the stresses involved in this line of work, and a lot more besides. It is what it is, and I'm ashamed of how long it took me to finally see that. I apologize for the inconsistency over this past year or so, and for the times I've thought I might just have the answer but instead I only treated yet another symptom.

But of course knowing your enemy is the best first step in beating it, and things are already underway. I have options, several in fact, and I've already begun exploring them. A lot has already happened in a short time and I won't bore you with the specifics, but I'm hoping the next few days will help me get back on the right track. Suffice it to say, I'm willing to do whatever it takes, and measure I've already taken are certainly substantial and potentially even extreme. I don't do things in half measures. And whatever it takes to get me back on track and delivering new Sileo content at an acceptable pace is worth doing. 

Another consideration and I don't know if I've mentioned this here on Patreon is that CurryCatz will be coming to stay with me in a couple of weeks time. It's uncertain how long for, but this will be our first time actually working together in person, and I'm hopeful this will help us both to remain productive and on task, as well improving the synergy in our work. 

I'm fairly optimistic that we're on the cusp of a shift back in the right direction. What that means for this forthcoming update is impossible to say right now. I still want to deliver a new update this month, but things this month have been incredibly dire on my end, so if I managed to do that, it'd be a lot of work in a very short time. If I can pull that off, I'm more than willing to do so, but it's also a little too early to know where I'm at and if what I've done so far has worked to the extent I need it to. So please continue being patient with me for the moment. I hope to come back sooner rather than later to report some great progress. Thanks for your patience and support - stand by for more in the coming days!