0109. life in between waves

*ENGLISH VERSION*

in this podcast newsletter: my life after a miscarriage, small (but important) changes that helped me work and feel like myself again and a behind the scene of how I put together the comic about the miscarriage.

Things I mentioned in this episode:

• This is the miscarriage comic PART ONE and PART TWO (in case you haven't seen it and you need a visual aid!)

• Reddit post (thank you for sharing it with me!)

"As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. 

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out."

Lovely things:

• Ed shared this video by Jack Conte, MEGA USEFUL:  6 steps every creator should follow when making an annual plan 

• Lemon cake I wanna bake so bad, by Peaceful Cuisine 

• The This is Uncomfortable podcast Lou recommended me

• Holly and nature are the best combo 

• Suzlnne and her vlogs make me wanna study

• watch while drawing: ContraPoints on Cancel culture

• Hannah Gasby, Douglas (Netflix)

ALSO: I finally updated the gadgets and suppliers list, now you can see both UK and USA resources, plus art supplies I use on a regular basis!