nudity.slip

Shooting with

Added 2025-04-27 17:00:29 +0000 UTC

It’s strange how time moves in spirals. Slowly. Softly. But every loop goes deeper, wider — closer to something true.

Three years ago, when I first arrived and grounded myself in Barcelona, I was left alone with myself for the first time in my life. For 26 years, I’d never truly been on my own. There was always someone around — family, friends, studies, work. I’d never even lived alone. It was always with parents, or my sister, or roommates in a dorm. My space was always filled with other people. And I was okay with that. I don’t remember ever really needing solitude. It was enough to close my door for a day, or go for a solo walk in the forest, sit by the water. That was enough.

Until the war happened. Until I had to move to another country. To a place I didn’t know. Surrounded by people I didn’t know. Speaking a language I didn’t know.

That’s when it truly began — being alone with myself.

And in that quiet, the wounds began to open. Wounds I had so carefully covered with a band-aid made of people, events, emotions. It hurt to look at them. It hurt even more to realize:they were mine. My choices. My thoughts. My actions. That’s when I started therapy. Because I felt I just couldn’t carry it all alone. And honestly — I’m grateful. Because I got through that first wave pretty fast.

I thought I’d dealt with it. I thought I was conscious now, in control. That I was sailing my ship, the one called “my best life.” I was listening to myself. Doing things for myself.

But now — once again — I’ve found myself alone with myself. And guess what? A new layer of pain is rising to the surface. Things that didn’t bother me before, or didn’t even register… are now staring me right in the face. Like a pimple on my forehead. And I can’t not see it anymore.

So forgive me if my next few posts (and my previous one, as you can see) feel a little too raw, too pessimistic, too much.

But I’m here again. Back in that same place. Only this time — with new wounds, and new clarity