(JC3) You're A Shinigami? I Am A Shinigami! Death Note SI Early Access Chapter 1.9

I turned on my heel, a half-hearted smirk dancing on my lips as I made my way toward the warehouse exit, the dim flickering light behind me receding into shadows. The weight of what had just happened settled comfortably in the back of my mind, like an old, worn-out joke.

Life was a grand cosmic prank, and I was merely a participant with a penchant for getting even.

But as I made to take a step into the fresh night air, her voice echoed right past me. Rather loudly actually- I was only a few feet away.

There's no need to scream.

“Wait!” Naomi’s voice sliced through the coolness, tension crackling in the air like an unwelcome static shock. I glanced back, raising an eyebrow. There she was, determination written all over her face, like a puppy trying to steal your sandwich. “You can’t just walk away!”

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Sure I can. I’ve got two feet for it and places to be- like anywhere but here.” I turned back toward freedom, but she was hot on my heels.

Emphasis on the hot. Raye Penber really shoulda just stayed home.

“You know things! Things about Kira, about what happened to me!” she insisted, her voice rising with a mix of urgency and desperation as she reached me.

Well yeah but I don't see how that's my problem.

I sighed dramatically, spinning back to face her. “Listen, Naomi, just because I have a vague understanding of the universe’s absurdity doesn’t mean I’m about to take you on an existential road trip. I’m not a tour guide."

'No. You're more of a train driver.' Aizen deadpanned in my head. 'A terrible, terrible, train driver.'

'Don't trains move on set lines..? How hard could it be to press a button?' Doflamingo wondered.

You'd be surprised what an idiot could pull through.'

I ignored both of them and focused back on the woman.

She stepped closer, her arms crossed as if to ward off the reality of the situation. “You saved my life! And you’re acting like it was no big deal! And now you just... just want to leave? Just like that?”

Ah.

I see the confusion!

'Soul King have mercy on us all.'

Not a thing anymore! Aizen, you know this!

'There's a story there I imagine...' Doflamingo added on.

I focused on the woman under a misconception.

"I see what the problem is!” I exclaimed with a mock flourish. “You’ve mistaken my nonchalance for a moral compass! It’s a classic comedy of errors, really.” I put my hands on my hips and feigned deep thought. “If I had a nickel for every time I saved someone, I’d probably be at a buffet right now, making plates and laughing at everyone’s poor life choices.” A beat passed as I watched her process that with multiple blinks. "Me personally, I'll take the plate of nachos with a side of existential dread-"

“Stop making jokes!” she snapped, cutting me off, frustration spilling over the edges of her calm demeanour. “This isn’t some kind of game!”

“For me, it absolutely is,” I quipped back, unable to resist the temptation. “Life’s a stage, and I’m just the guy who forgot his lines.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her for good measure.

Naomi glared at me, her eyes blazing with irritation. “This is serious! There are real consequences here- people are dying out there! You could stop it like you did with me!”

I tilted my head at her. "I don't remember getting a medical degree."

'...You know, I am starting to think I had it easy.' Aizen remarked thoughtfully into my head.

"You..." Naomi blinked, a hint of shock in her face. "...Why aren't you taking this seriously? "Why... How could you be so... Kira's killing people by the masses-"

I let out a sigh and fixed a passive expression to my face, one hand reaching out- Oh she immediately startled! Okay no hand on her shoulder, got it! “Because, Naomi, if I took every single awful thing in life to heart, I’d drown in a puddle of existential dread,” I replied, meeting her gaze. “And who has time for that when there are so many punchlines to enjoy?”

She processed that for a moment before coming to the surreal realisation that-
“You’re infuriating!” She threw her hands up, frustration spilling over. “You think this is funny? You’re walking away from someone trying to figure out why she’s alive when she shouldn’t be when you obviously have the answers!”

“Alive? Shouldn’t be? Please!” I rolled my eyes. “You’ve got quite the flair for drama, don’t you? It's like you're auditioning for a horror flick. ‘Ooh, am I a ghost? A zombie? Or just someone cursed by the cosmos to have a bad hair day?’”

She twitched at me for that one, a dark look momentarily filling her eyes. "Will you stop being insufferable for a moment?” she whispered back, a strange tone to her voice.

"I am not the one that's stopping me from just walking away, ya know?" I pointed out and at the sudden look, she gave me, I'll admit I kinda shuffled on my feet over it. Sheesh, talk about puppy dog eyes! “Okay, okay!” I relented, raising my hands in surrender. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll tone it down- just a bit. But I reserve the right to throw some bad jokes into the mix when the mood hits me.”

Naomi regarded me with a mixture of exhaustion and determination. “Fine. But if we’re going to face Kira, it can’t just be a joke to you. I need you to at least pretend to take this seriously.”

Catch Kira?

We? 

Someone's jumping to conclusions.

“Pretend?” I chuckled. “That sounds like a delightful premise for a sitcom. ‘Two idiots and a serial killer.’” And before she could throw a fit, or make any kind of response to that delightful joke, I let myself get a teensy bit more serious for a moment. "Also Kira isn't my problem, Misora." She frowned heavily at that, her earlier exhaustion replacing with focus at my sudden tone. "It's your problem... mine's a little up the food chain."

She mulled that over with a heavier frown as she shifted ever so slightly on her feet, her shoes clinking against the worn-out concrete beneath us. "Meaning?" She quarried.

I gave her a genuine smile. "I wasn't kidding about a Shinigami King."

'Glad to see you still have that habit.' Doflamingo pointed out. 'At least it wasn't personal.'

'Believe me Demon, we'd have been better off if it was.'

I heard the audible gulp she made at those words. "...I thought you were just being aloof about that..." She admitted.

I gave her another genuine smile. "Funny, debonair and undeniably handsome are three things I am." I deadpanned, to a very dry look. "But I don't joke about putting Kings in their place."

She processed my words warily, her gaze taking in a different look for some reason before she let out a sigh. "What's Kira to you then?"

"Petty. Pebble." I leaned in slightly. "Mortal."

"....You sound insane."

"Oh I am," I admitted openly. "You kinda have to be in my shoes." I let out a slight chuckle. "Honestly, you basically have a confession-" Surprise rapidly coloured her face. "-Just go to L and tell him- Hell I am sure your presence, you know been alive and all, will freak the hell outta Light Yagami!"

I watched her process that as a keen look rapidly filtered into her eyes. As she came to the same conclusion herself- She didn't need me at all. "I don't know how he kills-"

"And I won't tell you even if you ask."

Her expression turned sombre at that. "What are you going to do then?"

"Walk. Away." I answered slowly. "This isn't my fight."

"....I can't let you do that." She whispered, a strange determination filling her eyes. "There's too much... There's far too much oozing out of you for me to turn a blind eye- You know how he kills, you somehow managed to stop it-" She took in a breath and shook her head. "I can't let you walk away from this!"

I raised an eyebrow, surprised by her determination. “Oh, really? What are you gonna do? Throw a tantrum?”

Her expression somehow turned more serious, her demeanour shifting. “I’ll follow you if I have to and I'll reach out to L at the same time-”

“Well, that’s just great!” I clapped my hands together causing her to stiffen at the sound. “Congratulations, Naomi! You’ve just elected me your reluctant tour guide through this delightful catastrophe we call a reality! Let’s go explore the land of ‘What the Hell Just Happened?’ together!” I said sarcastically.

“Just stop joking for one second!” she insisted, eyes flashing with annoyance.

“Joking is literally all I have left!” I grinned, genuine amusement breaking through the layers of chaos. “Besides, if I can’t laugh at myself, what’s the point?”

With a roll of her eyes that practically threatened to take flight, she muttered, “Fine but I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

I grinned at her all the same. "For someone that barely survived death-" She flinched at that ever so slightly. "You're all too keen to jump into the abyss, you know that?"

Her gaze turned towards the broken concrete beneath us just as the pale light sifted in through cracked beams and broken windows. "...Maybe that's all I have left," She whispered.

"Oooh all that edge is going to make me want a coffee." I couldn't help myself.

Which, well, she didn't exactly take well given the way she narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms. "...Seriously? That's your immediate response to vulnerability?"

“Ugh, fine!” I relented dramatically. “You want serious? I can do serious! Hold my coffee!” I shifted my posture, adopting a more serious demeanour. “How can I help you fight the forces of evil, fearless heroine? What’s our battle strategy? Spandex suit? Perhaps a catchy battle cry?”

“Seriously?” Naomi repeated, her voice dripping with disbelief.

"Yup,” I replied, struggling to keep a straight face. “It's a nuanced approach to psychological warfare!”

"...Am I the target?" She questioned absolutely seriously.

'This is the start of a beautiful friendship.'  Doflamingo mocked inside my head.

'That poor human.' Aizen elected to add in his own two cents.

Deep down, I knew life had stripped the humour and forced me into this unexpected corner, but if I had to play this twisted game, I might as well enjoy the ride.

And with that, I stepped into the night, her footsteps following closely behind. In the end, maybe this was the thrill of it all. The stakes were higher, sure, but with Aizen’s unwavering confidence and Doflamingo’s tantalizing glee echoing in my mind, I might just find a way to navigate this madness.

After all, if the universe was a dark comedy, I might as well be the reluctant lead, even if I was also the punchline.

"...So any chance you're ready to be serious now?" The woman questioned me as we walked side by side on the worn road, broken street lamps and closed businesses lining up the street.

This really was a ghost town- Huh, when the Death Note told you to disappear, it didn't fuck around huh?

"Not for another two lifetimes I imagine," I deadpanned back.

"I'll take that as a no," She sighed. "Do you even know where you're going?"

"...Yes. Actually, we're going to a police station." She blinked at that, confused. "Might as well reach out to L and give 'em the good news!"

Needless to say, she definitely started having misgivings about all of this.

"Going to the station was exactly how I ended up here."

"No, that was more you jumping the gun and revealing your identity- But don't worry I got that covered!" I grinned, turning a side-eye towards her. "You're officially Kira proof thanks to me!"

She gave me a tired look at that. "All things considered, I am a little wary of taking you at your word right now."

"You're alive ain't-cha?" I pointed out, though that didn't seem to fill her with as much hope as I expected.

Evidently, her mind was finally catching up to her day.

I decided to at least let her process that properly.

...

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Will be for free released on the 26/12/2024