Slave to Self-Limitations, Ruler of Unfinished Ideas

In the very first years of my exploration in social media as an artist, digital artist to be specific, I learned how to create a composition, how to paint through light and perspective, how to express different ideas and emotions. Over time, I started developing what I’ll call “the formula.” I’ve shared this formula here on Patreon many times, and it’s something that changes every once in a while, depending on what I want to create.

The formula has been very useful because it allows me to connect with people through my experience, my exploration, and my testing. Basically, I create illustrations that I believe will either go viral or make an impact on my audience. But there is a downside to this structure, or formula, whatever you want to call it. The limitations I’ve created for myself sometimes become very annoying, I can’t think of a better word, and sabotage the process for me.

I think it’s because I feel that if I pick ideas or reference pictures for practice that don’t follow this set of rules, it’s going to be a waste of my time. The characteristics I’m talking about are things like good contrast, a set of colors that work, or a moment that feels authentic or genuine. It can’t just be a professional photo of a model, it needs to feel like a real moment between two people for me to use it as reference.

If it’s a study, it has to be more than just a technical exercise, and if it’s an original illustration, it has to have depth. If the idea doesn’t meet these criteria, I won’t move forward. In a way, that’s good, because when I choose to make something, it resonates with me. But when I can’t come up with an idea that meets all these requirements, I get stuck. I won’t paint or draw. Even if I start something, I often drop it because of the constant questioning.

I keep asking myself if it makes sense for me, if it will make sense for others, if it’s worth my time, or if it’s just going to be a waste. All of that noise makes me feel trapped. It’s like hitting a big wall I have to break through just to create something. Sometimes, I just want to make art without thinking about the meaning behind it, or what people will expect from it, or how it fits into my career goals. I just want to create something pretty, or something to get distracted with, or something meaningless. And yet, I can’t.

It feels like I need to fight myself to make something. With this particular illustration, for example. I tried portraits. I tried studies. I even tried personal illustrations (I’ll probably share the process video later to show all the failed attempts I had before I finished this one). But I couldn’t finish any of them because I kept finding things that were lacking. And then I told myself it would be a waste of time.

The reason I managed to pull off this study wasn’t because I was fully committed to it. It was because I got distracted. I put on a podcast, or music, or something in the background, and that helped me deal with the struggle of starting the painting without questioning the process too much. After a while, when the painting started coming together, I started to enjoy it. By that point, I had crossed the wall of overthinking, but only because I was distracted.

That’s not something that happens all the time. Some days I feel inspired. Other days, I don’t feel motivated at all. On those days, all the requirements and rules I’ve built up over the years come back to haunt me, like a set of regulations I have to follow. Creativity regulations.

I’m not a big fan of being distracted while I work. It slows me down, and I like being quick and efficient. But in this case, it really helped me get past the expectations I have for myself.

If you are finding too many regulations from you, mental government, the moment you must create something, perhaps getting distracted for a while and just at the beginning of the process, if it’s just a study in this case, if it’s an illustration from scratch, I guess it will be more complex. But don’t worry about that. I will eventually run into this issue when creating original illustrations. By then, I hope I have a solution as well. But in this particular case, if it’s just a study and you have way too much noise and reasons to stop, remember that sometimes it’s better to not think too much and just move forward.

Anyways, I hope this helps and I want to say thank you so much for your support.