Therapy Deep Dive: Dealing with Adult ADHD
Added 2023-06-14 15:00:07 +0000 UTCLicensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are talking about a very personal topic, dealing with ADHD as an adult. They discuss three areas of ADHD: inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity... and they go on tangents and lose their train of thought because they have ADHD.
Resource:
ADHD As A Difference In Cognition, Not A Disorder: Stephen Tonti at TEDxCMU
Comments
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this deep dive. Made me laugh and made me feel understood and appreciated. Was wondering since Alan mentioned, that he read everything there is to read on the subject- what would you recommend to read/explore to someone trying to improve their life quality, identify and play their strengths and mitigate the level of anxiety and stress that comes with inefficient (read: non-existing)time management
Olga Romanenko
2024-10-03 13:20:42 +0000 UTCIs it possible to kind of have ADHD and then kind of loose it because you (for example) get hit really hard in the head? Or can it be suppressed by chronic pain/trauma/grief/sad stuff?
Emma Thomson
2024-07-18 13:48:56 +0000 UTCLoved the video, been looking for something like this (turns out I missed it when it came out, oops) For me the hyperactivity seems to work more internally, I -constantly- have to be doing something, often multiple things at once, just to direct that (watching tv and writing and having some third task off to the side), otherwise it's like debris backing up behind a dam and I feel like my brain just wants to overflow--and this is my downtime I'm the same with time, I have a comic I'm working on and have a daily self-imposed deadline, I literally can't work ahead because if I do I'll forget to do it at all for days, and then can't get started again, and the only way it gets done on time regularly is starting it at the absolute latest point possible and just fuel myself on the deadline pressure--all while having no idea if three minutes or three hours has passed
Hammy
2024-04-30 10:05:50 +0000 UTCDid you know she just published her book? It's meant to be a workbook/journal type thing with lots of white space for notes. 💗 I bought one for myself, one for my partner, and one for our oldest child (13). Our younger ADHD kids will receive a copy each as they grow into it.
Angie
2024-01-29 18:36:37 +0000 UTCHow to ADHD was actually a big part of my discovering that I likely had ADHD. I recommend it often!
LB Clark
2024-01-29 18:23:00 +0000 UTCI see you. I was diagnosed in 2022 at the age of 37. It's a bittersweet thing. All those things that you thought were "moral failings" - aren't. But there's a part of you that wants to know why no one noticed so you could have been diagnosed earlier and struggled less.
LB Clark
2024-01-29 18:20:39 +0000 UTCThe filling in the gaps thing led my Therapist to believe I didn't have adhd because obviously I wasn't spacing out. I tried to explain it to him but he didn't really believe me. I was also not able to tell him that I go instantly into hyperfocus during therapy sessions. And the 'I want to do things but I can't and I don't know why, my body just nopes out and I can't do anything' wasn't enough either. God I am so happy I got a second opinion. I had my therapist for 6 years and he was great with depression and he was the reason I had enough self-esteem to go against his opinion, so technically he did everything right. But this killed so much trust I never went back to him. My Psychiatrist looked at two questionnaires and my elemtary school reports and didn't even think twice about a diagnosis. The meds literally saved my life because I was falling back into exhaustion depressions every 3-6 months and they tone down my anxiety and my OCD. I can be normal in your comments... I swear... some day I will be a very normal commenter in your comments. Sorry about these random essays... Btw. just FYI big adhd job pool: STEM STEM jobs are usually highly creative and deal a lot with problem solving. My personal instant hyperfocus is when I write code (I am not working as a programmer because I would probably just... die of exhaustion because I can't stop working until the code is working) If you work in MINT there is a very high chance that most of your colleagues are either autistic, have adhd or are both. Thank you for this wonderful video <3 I loved the ADHD Combocounter :D
Lyndis Cealin
2024-01-10 12:15:55 +0000 UTCI have not just lived almost 25 years to only now confirm that I have ADHD and there’s a reason why I’m this way 😳🫠.
Jasmillio
2023-11-28 05:58:51 +0000 UTCThis is soooo amazing 🤯 As a crisis counselor (and parent with ADHD with 2 teens with it as well), the whole time I was watching I was wishing this was not just on Patreon, but shareable. I wish neurotypical folks had this as required reading, somehow. I can’t tell you how many people come to me (in crisis) who are trying to be shoved into a neuro-typical world/schedule who are so beyond-beyond frustrated, that they think they literally can’t live. Period. Knowing this is real, knowing it is not just you but SO many ppl, knowing that managing your own time and your own routine is the key to unlocking not only survival but thriving (!) is a literal life saver for many, many, many people. (And we have *got* to get this into full swing in public schools! The square pegs shouldn’t have to torment themselves to try to fit into round holes! Especially as young ppl trying to figure out how they fit in the world!) Thank you thank you thank you for this video!! And, as always for your brilliant openness. Amazing. So grateful for you guys. 🩵💛🍿🥤
slothtopus
2023-09-13 02:32:06 +0000 UTCTo help me focus when I studied I would knit because it would be so hard to focus on reading textbooks and notes. Also, one of my education class professors let me sew in class. She understood that it helped me listen to the lecture more. I am not sure if I have ADHD, but I have a lot of these traits. Hard to focus on just one thing, easily distracted, will start many tasks instead of doing one, will change topics abruptly, easily excited, and VERY forgetful. My sister says that if I were an animal it would be golden retriever puppy.
Hannah Rose 🥀
2023-08-25 05:08:29 +0000 UTCI have ADHD. Medicated but I still struggle with remembering things, and it's hard at work. I'm in the grocery customer service line of work now, and it requires a lot of remembering things. I feel stupid sometimes, but I know I'm not. I went to one of the best universities in the world; the problem with that is when you liberal arts degree it doesn't always translate well to the retail world, educated or not. I've changed careers from politics to retail to have a life, but I'm finding it difficult to adjust to working in it. Anyway, great video! I'll try to implement some of these and maybe it will help! I do notice I have notes in my pocket just in case. Thankfully they came in handy.
Jackie Frankovich
2023-08-20 00:26:33 +0000 UTCThis has been really helpful for me. This came just at the right time. I got diagnosed with ADHD on Wednesday. One of the challenges that I’m working on is a close colleague/friend who I’m working closely with also has ADHD. We are asking the question if we should look at changing how we operate and if so what should we do. Without changes and when we are both not medicated our conversations accelerate and snowball in to full blown chaos which if we’re in a bar is hilarious. We call it ‘WTF mode’. If we’re dealing with a major IT incident it’s a big problem.
Pam Jackson
2023-08-19 11:11:11 +0000 UTCThis is a gem, thank you both. I got diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago in my mid-30s. My therapist was actually the one who suggested the idea. I’m grateful to her now but at the time I was pissed. Having ADHD had never even crossed my mind. The idea there was a functional reason for the biggest challenges in my life- the idea it wasn’t just me failing on a daily basis- it just didn’t compute. She asked me to at least think about it, maybe look into some articles. Which is how I ended up bawling in the corner of a coffee shop that night, reading things that were ‘Me. Me. Also me.’ It’s been a journey! Videos like this one about personal experiences are very helpful. It’s treatable yes but still feels like wrestling an octopus.
Nell Campbell
2023-08-12 11:37:15 +0000 UTCThanks for sharing with us. Watching Alan is always interesting for me because we have a LOT of behaviors in common and it is …enlightening? 😂 I am hoping to starting to figure out what is going on inside my brain. I know it’s SOMETHING. I do have a lot of ADHD symptoms; more significantly, I have struggled with what is probably generalized anxiety since childhood that exhibits itself in worry, intrusive thoughts, and fear-based ocd behaviors. I have also always been drawn to neurodivergent people (three of my heart friends are on the spectrum, I met them all separately) The last time I tried betterhelp I got scammed, but I am going to try again soon and wait it out for an MD because I am tired of being undiagnosed. 🙄 This is practice for that—so thanks for coming to my ramble. Anyways….. You guys are amazing and you are killing it! Thanks for being who you are and sharing your neurodivergent awesomeness with us. 👍🏼
Hannah Vaughn
2023-08-05 20:32:07 +0000 UTCI am like 89% sure I have ADHD
taylor garrett
2023-07-10 00:13:18 +0000 UTCNice! You got this! ADHD as superpower, I LOVE that. - Jono
Cinema Therapy
2023-06-19 13:57:51 +0000 UTCI wasn‘t aware that Alan also is a fellow ADHD‘er! About the „how can you be a therapist with ADHD“ point. In an episode, Jono mentioned that his favourite therapy type is family therapy, because it triggers hyper-focus due to the high pressure and high stakes. Hearing that changed my relationship with my ADHD, giving me licence to look for situations where my ADHD acts as a super power. My favourite ways of describing ADHD are: - It‘s a Ferrari brain with bicycle brakes - We have no RAM - Time… what‘s time? Thanks again, guys!
Jan Sapper
2023-06-19 04:42:33 +0000 UTCThank you! I've loved that shirt since I first saw it.
Katie S
2023-06-16 03:21:08 +0000 UTCIt's from Last Exit to Nowhere. They have lots of cool movie-themed nerdy shirts. I first heard about it from Andrew Stanton!
Cinema Therapy
2023-06-16 03:05:32 +0000 UTCIt's hard describing ADHD to someone who doesn't have it. My mom once told me that she was surprised when I diagnosed, because she sees me focus all the time. She said that I obviously don't have attention problems because she had seen me, many times, sit in front of the tv and cross stitch without looking up for hours upon hours at a time. And of course, every time I tell a person with ADHD that story, they crack up. Thank you, hyper focus. But try to explain hyper focus to my mom? "Yes, honey, well I can focus on something I enjoy for a long time, too." No, Mom, not like me. Yes, you can quilt for an entire day, but are you ever sitting at your sewing machine and blink, and suddenly without realizing it, it's 3 am and you literally haven't moved for six hours, even though you're starving (which you didn't realize until just now) and you're about to wet your pants, you have to pee so badly (which you also didn't realize until just now) and you're wide awake and energized, even though you have to get up in less than four hours to go to work in the morning? Has that happened to you, Mom? Has it? Because it happens to me *all* *the* *time.*
Jennifer Sherman
2023-06-15 21:12:01 +0000 UTCOn another note, the brain making jumps in connecting one word to another is SOOOOO common in my family. We literally have to go "you mentioned this, which reminded me of that, which has to do with this, and there's a song in the same musical which is why I'm telling you this."
Ayesha Ali
2023-06-15 18:56:34 +0000 UTCI wasn't diagnosed with ADHD, but a lot of the things here I connected with. I've always had trouble staying focused on a task and fidgeting (which I only recently stopped blaming myself for), and if a task isn't immediately needed (I can't even finish this comment without wanting to move), I don't do it and feel I'm being lazy. Problem is, I already have a disability, and if I have two, my extremely low chances of getting hired goes to zero. I was actually threatened by a special ed teacher in 10th grade with ADD for not knowing what he was talking about.
Ayesha Ali
2023-06-15 18:55:14 +0000 UTC"5-8% of the population have ADHD" And if you find or are someone with ADHD, that bumps to like 95% of your friends/acquaintance circle because we like to collect other ADHD brains/assorted neurodivergence into a pack 🤣 True story, I probably diagnosed myself when I read the Divergent trilogy and only recognized myself in the main character 🤣🤣🤣 And that was a solid 6-7 years before my dx.
Angie
2023-06-15 17:40:27 +0000 UTCRe: there's no cure but there's treatment I like and dislike that statement. I like it because it's accurate insofar that it's not a thing that goes away; kids don't "grow out of" ADHD, they simply mature and learn how to make their own accommodations through trial and error. It's much the same as how emotional intelligence was a personal journey of trial & error up until Millennials started having kids and teaching their Gen Z babies how to be emotionally healthier. What I dislike is the perception that it NEEDS a cure. That's a bunch of neurotypical malarkey. Give me a neurospicy brain any day and they'll be far more interesting than a NT person. It's only frustrating when we as a society try to shove everyone into a square box and expect everyone to be the same. We are beautiful and amazing in our diversity and it means we need to know our challenges and when we need accommodations. My three kids have all received their ADHD dx's, with our 6 year old being diagnosed right around the same time as my husband, both in the last 6 months. It's chaos a lot of the time, AND they're my most favorite people. 💗
Angie
2023-06-15 17:31:30 +0000 UTCAs an aside -- anyone who has ADHD ("brains") or regularly interacts with someone with ADHD ("hearts") would benefit greatly from watching the How to ADHD back library. Even after getting my adult DX, I struggled with relating to my ADHD children because all I knew was my experience and how *I* have coped with and managed symptoms. Unfortunately, some of my coping has come from childhood trauma and my frustrations with my children not performing at my level at their age was unreasonable, because my situation was not at all typical. I was able to do what I did (using an alarm to get up by myself at 6 years old, feed myself breakfast, get dressed, wake my mother on my way out the door to walk to the bus stop alone) because of the way I accepted responsibility and reacted to it, and achieved what I did with delitirious effects on my mental health.
Angie
2023-06-15 17:16:26 +0000 UTCJessica McCabe with How to ADHD has done a bit of a format change with her channel and she's starting to interview people with ADHD as well as mental health professionals (I think?); you'd both be great for her channel and could do some cross promotion too!
Angie
2023-06-15 17:09:32 +0000 UTCI was diagnosed with ADD in 9th grade and with Autism at 38. It has been really interesting finding out "Ooooooh, that's why that happens" or that I'm not the only one who does something. I absolutely love this video.
Kristina Armstrong
2023-06-15 11:48:01 +0000 UTCI will be showing this to anyone who does not understand my ADHD, with the introductory sentence of “Welcome to my brain”. This is (obviously) so spot on. The time blindness (of not knowing how long something is going to take) has caught me in the backside so many times at work, but then that helps push the “critical” levels when needing to get something done. In terms of what Jono said about it not making sense how a person with ADHD could be a therapist, I have found, as some who does some counseling in their job, that having that constant change of people and stories throughout the day works well with my ADHD. It’s like my brain is saying “Oh. You’re getting distracted with this story. It’s the end of that session. Time for a new story!” Anyways…all those side quest comments to say, thanks for this episode. This was one that I needed, even if only to confirm that I am not the only one with a brain that needs to constantly reset. In a way, I now get what drew me to this channel way back in the beginning (when the episodes were 15 minutes or less).
Ruth Popkin
2023-06-14 21:39:43 +0000 UTCI totally understand the "time has no meaning" part. If I'm on task, I can do all the things, but if I have an appointment, 15 minutes is an hour is 30 seconds.
David Muench
2023-06-14 16:57:38 +0000 UTCI super loved this discussion. I have been slowly unmasking as I'm dealing with burnout, and realizing I likely have ADHD. As well as being autistic. I'm actually doing tons of research on neurodivergence, and I'm starting to think they all may stem from the same thing. Recently the gene that cause autism was discovered. It's two neanderthal gene sequences that are "hidden in junk DNA." The more research I do, the more I think ADHD may stem from the same things, just different DNA sequences. Autism and ADHD are so commonly comorbid, it literally has its own acronym AuDHD. It's definitely an interesting topic and I appreciate your views, as I learn to understand my own brain! ❤️
Smeeson
2023-06-14 16:20:28 +0000 UTCAlan, where did you get your shirt?!
Katie S
2023-06-14 15:30:16 +0000 UTC
