DIRECTOR'S CUT: Psychology of a Hero: TED LASSO
Added 2023-07-17 18:06:14 +0000 UTCHow do you practice being curious, not judgmental? What is the best advice you received from a coach?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are taking a look at Ted Lasso’s mental health journey. They talk about Ted’s positivity and why it’s not toxic but grounded in reality. They discuss his anxiety, panic attacks, and therapy avoidance - Jonathan has many thoughts! Jonathan talks about the show’s real relationship dynamics, and Alan experiences the best emotion (and hardest to achieve), laughter through tears!
How do you accept feedback without getting defensive? Have you ever had a "thank you, F you" conversation with a parent?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright continue reacting to Ted Lasso’s mental health journey. They talk about Ted embracing therapy, taking accountability, and accepting influence, and how his growth along with his love for learning and curiosity make him the best coach. Jonathan explains the “and” of how parents can do their best and still mess up their children. Alan shares why he appreciates Ted and his mom’s “thank you, F you” conversation, and why the show is so important to him. #cryingwithalan
Comments
Thank you so much. We appreciate the support!
Cinema Therapy
2024-12-10 23:13:46 +0000 UTCAfter finally watching the director’s cut of this episode, I can safely say that this is why I’m so happy to be subscribed on Patreon. The Director’s Cut is everything. YouTube is just YouTube.
Lauren Hubers
2024-12-10 22:31:07 +0000 UTCNew here thanks to my daughter my Birthday Present from her. She wanted me to watch this one first. So glad I did. Alan listening to your side of the story regarding your mother help me understand what is going on with my son. This hit home in so many ways. Saying thank you is not enough.
Jennifer Couture
2024-09-26 03:20:33 +0000 UTCThank you Alan for your amazing tears and emotions! What an amazing episode!!
Alexis Silva
2024-07-29 21:10:30 +0000 UTCThis is a personal opinion and I like Ted Lasso fine but there is absolutely no contest for me that your show is even better than Ted Lasso.
Anna-Lea Blümel
2024-07-22 15:08:31 +0000 UTCZach Braff seems to really understand how important everyone becoming more comfortable with their mental health is so vital as a society!
Anna Murray
2024-06-18 18:15:37 +0000 UTCI love that this show addresses anxiety and panic attacks as a very real (and debilitating thing). I just wish it were easier to really simulate it in film? I've never yet seen a representation of a panic attack that I could point to and show people to say, "THIS!! This is what it's like..." When Ted is finally taking control of the panic and telling himself "you're ok..." that feels very real to me, but what I don't think it conveys is that, when you're panicking, there is no 'higher function' (at least for me) there's no actual thought about WHY I'm having a panic attack. It's just a very visceral, primal feeling. You can't breathe and the only thought (in my head at least) is.. "you're dying. You're going to die." That's how it feels, it feels like you can breathe, like you're going to die, like it is an absolute fact. But it's not true, so to get control, you slow your breathing, and you tell yourself, "I'm ok, I'm not dying." Over and over and over until that reptile brain listens and stops trying to convince you otherwise, and THEN you start thinking about triggers and factors and all that... but for that brief moment your only concern is to just keep reminding yourself that you're not going to die, you can breathe.
Babyduckhat
2024-05-15 18:18:32 +0000 UTCI love that you guys cry often at the movies and TV shows you talk about. It's great to have the example of healthy men showing all their emotions happy and sad.
Lucinda Sage-Midgorden
2024-05-07 19:38:40 +0000 UTCTed Lasso makes me think of the Kipling poem, "If." "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you... If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same" There are just 2 of the lines from that poem that seem apply especially to Ted but also to the show as a whole.
Julia
2024-04-09 17:15:39 +0000 UTCI would just like to expand on one point. One of the coaches didn't just find out about Ted's panic attacks. He told his whole coaxhing staff (+Higgens). He opened up to them, & one of his friends betrayed him. But he doesn't take that as the lesson. No, he apologizes for not being more open with the rest of the team & building trust with them.
Julia
2024-04-09 15:02:41 +0000 UTCI come to you now after watching the videos of your work I've been dying to see the extended cuts of, having recently seen the news of your separation Jonathan. I know it's likely not my place to comment or judge but... Jeez Jono... I'm so sorry. I won't pretend to know what you're going through but I do know whatever is happening you're doing your best to be your best. You and Alan have helped me through so much of my own flaws, I wish I could at least put my hand on your shoulder and watch a movie together through this. What I can do is remind you what you taught me via Ted Lasso: the only thing worse than being sad is being alone and sad. I know you're not alone and there are people who love you who are willing to be with you right now. myself included if need be. Head up Doc, much love. Remember.... Believe.
edward dubon
2024-02-10 14:43:28 +0000 UTCI love this show and I hope you are proud of what you are doing. You, your crew, and everyone who has touched it has touched my life. Therapy isn't so scary for me anymore and I am coming to terms with my anxiety. Thank you. I also really appreciate that you bleep certain words even on Patreon. I feel like it respects your choice for saying them and my choice to not hear them. We have different opinions on using those words, but I feel that bleeping them respects both our opinions
Lorelei Furan
2023-11-26 10:24:03 +0000 UTCThe greatest part about Roy Kent's whole arch I think is Ted and Beard predict it exactly after talking to him for less than a minute. "He thinks he's mad now, just wait 'till we win him over." And, I guess I was never close enough to my parents to be upset with either of them. Not since I was five years old and stopped trusting adults, anyway. That was just because I had a scary dream where mom left me, and I wasn't able to explain how it disturbed me in a way that wasn't fixed by her telling me it wasn't real. I had a lot of troubles through my childhood with intellectual gifts and difficulties that both would have had special needs, undiagnosed autism and a gender identity for which language didn't really exist at the time; and what I now wish I could have told both mom and stepdad would be "thank you for supporting me with all the means available to you, and giving me freedom to explore the world entirely on my terms, and F you for letting me hide, for not bothering to try and find out that I was not well as long as I was just quiet and self-reliant and did as I was told."
Amelie W
2023-11-24 18:38:43 +0000 UTCI was shocked to find out that a lot of reviews said the third season is weak, the episodes are long, etc. To me, this was the best season, because it was so close to real life, and yet it was better, because of the characters' growth. That was the characters' development I really can aspire to, unlike many other shows which are either over-dramatized or over-positive.
Olga Makarova
2023-10-25 08:14:42 +0000 UTCWhile 'Be curious, not judgemental' was an insightful idea, the moment when Ted cries and says that everyone is hurting, really hit me hard. I sometimes find myself to be harsh and judgemental, and I try to remind myself about Ted Lasso and be more like him. We are so lucky to have this show!
Olga Makarova
2023-10-24 10:36:57 +0000 UTCLike Jonathan, I was late to this program. I only just watched it this last week, and I ripped through it. This show has made me laugh and cry, and it's helping me cope with losing a job I loved to be a part of, by letting me know to look for what I can learn from it. I can never be like Ted, but maybe we all could be just a bit more like him. Thanks for doing this video, guys. Agreed with every word.
Michael Jones
2023-09-23 16:54:16 +0000 UTCLike Danielle, I watched Ted Lasso in the last five days because I saw that you made an exeption for it. So I knew it had to be something special. And f*****cking hell it is. Thank you for turning my head in this direction guys. Agreeing with Sam & Erica: You are changing my life.
Raika
2023-09-04 14:13:53 +0000 UTCI've never seen this show, but I'm glad I got to experience this with you both! I hope you're next exception for tv shows will be Fleabag. It's seriously one of the most beautiful shows I've ever seen!
AllieMnokey1
2023-08-31 02:01:06 +0000 UTCThank you guys so much for videos like these! Believe me on this Jono and Alan, you are changing so many lives for the better with Cinema Therapy.
Sam & Erica
2023-08-15 09:55:10 +0000 UTCThere is so many things I want to say to you two... But I think the most important part is: THANK YOU, because your show has saved me and I ll never forget it.... and F*CK YOU for making me cry every time. there aint a whole lot of channels like Cinema Therapy
Alex
2023-08-13 20:22:50 +0000 UTCBill Lawrence and his writing team are geniuses at mixing sentimentality with humour. Scrubs was my comfort show for years for the same reason. The complex characters, the absolute silliness and the occasional absolute gut punches which made me sob in front of the TV. I absolutely struggle with keeping things inside and that leads to massive anxiety so any media that says "hey, we all struggle, it's OK not to be OK", was so needed. Especially at the time, as you say. What a show.
Sarah
2023-08-09 08:48:21 +0000 UTCI really want to look into this show! Thank you both for sharing. I look at movies and relationships in such a new and healthier way because of you to. Also, nosing there are people like you guys and your team who just want to be a part of something that helps people “believe.”The part about there being no winners or losers reminds me of the song “Hi Ren.” The song deals a lot about the inner dialogue with fear/evil and you/light. At the end he roughly says “There are no real winners and no real losers in psychological warfare, but there are victims and there are students”…”it is a pendulum constantly swinging from the dark to the light.” If you have not watched it please do, it is like a human soul opening up and pouring out in front of you.
Hannah Rose 🥀🎵
2023-08-06 04:15:24 +0000 UTCMy dad lost his job right around the time that Ted Lasso came out, and a lot of the stuff he used to wear went out of rotation because it was all stuff from his old job, and he understandably didn't want to wear it any more. One of the first Christmases after he lost his job (I think. Might have been a birthday), I got him a sweater with BE CURIOUS, NOT JUDGMENTAL printed on it, and it it still one of the things he wears most consistently.
Ian
2023-08-04 16:25:26 +0000 UTC"[Ted Lasso] did it much better than us." I haven't seen more of Ted Lasso than was shared here, but I'm still choosing 'false'. Or perhaps apples and oranges. CT is transparent and intentional, open and clear as to the mission statement. CT can (and has) reached people that Ted Lasso never could simply because it's a different vehicle. The statement felt a bit like saying a rocket ship is better than a submarine: the accuracy depends on whether we're watching The Abyss or Mission to Mars. CT, just like the rest of us, you don't have to lower yourself to raise someone else. Believe in yourselves and the work you're doing.
Em Bee
2023-07-29 22:27:55 +0000 UTC<3 I think a lot of us want to help, to bring light, to make a good difference in this world. But it can be hard to keep going when it seems like hate, fear, and anger are so prevalent that our efforts wouldn't matter. Entertainment that brings hope (like Ted Lasso and Cinema Therapy) and reignites our courage to keep going are absolutely critical. "All that is left to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." So thank you, Alan and Jono and team, for creating content that matters to me. Content that gives me hope, strength, and connection. You matter!
Lau ra
2023-07-26 20:41:52 +0000 UTCThank you, I just recently delt with a toxic person, they were judgemental and not curious - I was writing a blog about it when I watched this episode, it helped me to find the right words to describe what I learnt. SO thanks for this
Ariza Nel
2023-07-26 01:32:50 +0000 UTCSo thanks to this video I went and watched all 3 seasons in 5 days. Damn that's a great show! Thank you for telling me about it, it's only available on Apple TV so I likely never would have watched it had y'all not spoken so highly of it ❤️
Danielle Dupuis
2023-07-25 20:52:41 +0000 UTCwhen Alan cries, it just murders me not to be able to dive into the screen and give him all the hugs. also, Jono being right there to say it's ok if you're not ready... i wanna hug everybody. everybody gets hugs! maybe during the pandemic, Ted Lasso was the warm hug we all needed.
Lynettra
2023-07-24 04:26:39 +0000 UTCThe "I forgive you" scene -- I think Ted knows it wasn't about him and that's why he's able to forgive. He used empathy and got there really quick because he was able to separate the actions and realize they weren't personal, even though they happened to him.
Angie
2023-07-23 15:53:37 +0000 UTCWelcome welcome welcome!!!
Scott Wilde
2023-07-22 17:18:45 +0000 UTCIs it just me who's going like aaaawww Alan I whish I could give yo hug?
Loki Dokey
2023-07-21 23:53:18 +0000 UTCJupp I'm gonna watch Ted Lasso. Damn you, you make me watch stuff and loving it... Thank you
Loki Dokey
2023-07-21 21:44:41 +0000 UTCAlan, at the very end you said you want to help people. I’m only one person, but you help me. I love movies, but no piece of cinema has helped me the way CT has. Pursuing your dream without the support of your parent is something I can relate to. Our dreams are different, but every time you talk about that part of your life I’m reminded that I’m not alone. Also, when you & Jono talked about how wrong sexual assault is in your Twilight episode that had a huge impact on me. I was watching that just for laughs, but then that happened & I stopped the episode & went back and watched your words about that over and over again. It seemed so obvious to you that it was wrong even though you were a man. I think that was the first time I’ve seen men respond that way. Because of you, I found the courage to begin counseling to deal with my own assaults & false view of men. Jono & Alan, you want to help people. You helped me more than I know how to say. Alan, I know it’s not through a film you directed & im sure that carries its own amount of stuff, but you have helped me. You & Jono have impacted me in a way that will last forever. I am so grateful to you.
Emily
2023-07-20 13:56:48 +0000 UTCWould love to see an episode for Jamie and one for Roy as follow ons!
Anne Fitzpatrick
2023-07-20 01:58:32 +0000 UTC((GUSH ALERT))I know Alan said this show saved him. Well for me Cinema therapy saved me. Right before the holidays I found out my partner was battling an addiction and I was floored with betrayal and hurt. And for some reason the YouTube algorithm got me on CT’s review of Pride and Prejudice. And I was hooked. Two men talking about their feelings while being respectful and vulnerable?! No way. And through that I found John Gottman, my partner is now 8 months sober in a program, we are in couples counseling, I’m in truama therapy. If it weren’t for CT using my love of writing and film -something I’ve always used to get through life, I’m not sure I’d be at the place I’m at with my healing. Jono and Alan you’re changing the name of the game when it comes to men and how they express their emotions and look at the world. Please keep doing what you’re doing and to Alan specifically your vulnerability inspires so many of us to traverse the scary gross dark of our emotions knowing it’ll pass and we’ll make it out in the end.
Elizabeth Hunter
2023-07-20 00:45:34 +0000 UTCThanks Ryan, I really appreciate it. Maybe someday... -alan
Cinema Therapy
2023-07-20 00:36:13 +0000 UTCThank you for this amazing episode! It's always incredibly healing to me to hear both of you (and especially Alan) talk about your families since I don't have the best relationship with my family either and it's just very encouraging (I don't think that's the word I wanted to use, but let's go with it) to hear that I'm not the only one and that things can get better eventually. As for your question: I always try to remind myself that we all have our burdens to bear and that I can only know so much without listening. Because of that, I always try to learn from others, learn about their perspectives and their lives. And as much as social media can be harmful, it has also brought me a few stories that reminded me of both the fact that I can't know someone else's perspective without listening, but also how far a simple smile and kindness can go. So that's what I always try to keep in mind when I talk to others: to be kind, to maybe make their days a little better (or at least not worse), and to listen.
Lara
2023-07-19 17:29:03 +0000 UTCThanks for being here! That "thank you, f you" scene is such a powerful scene. You're definitely not alone in trying to work through family relationships. It can be so hard! We're all rooting for you. ❤️
Cinema Therapy
2023-07-19 15:56:44 +0000 UTCWe are trying to figure that out as SAG-AFTRA are still clarifying rules around content creators. Thanks for checking in with us!
Cinema Therapy
2023-07-19 14:14:33 +0000 UTCI, too joined specifically for this episode. I came to Ted Lasso in between seasons 2 and 3, binge watched the first two seasons in about 4 weeks, and then had to wait for season 3 to spiral out a week at a time. Amazing show.
Zain Orion
2023-07-19 02:55:36 +0000 UTCThat’s the scene that got me to watch it too - it seems to be the introduction for a lot of viewers
Natalie Carbone
2023-07-19 02:54:11 +0000 UTCLMAOOO SAME
animerite
2023-07-19 02:46:54 +0000 UTCGreat episode. Alan, as someone who has a similar relationship with both of my parents I can completely empathize with you. I wish we could be at thank you and fuck you, but I don't think it will happen and I'm scared. I still haven't seen Ted Lasso (I don't want to pay for more streaming services), but as a coach I aspire to get to a point where I am half the coach portrayed in this episode. I guess I need to work on myself more to get there. Thank you, as always.
Reilly Willoughby
2023-07-19 01:06:41 +0000 UTCJoined specifically for this episode, worth it. Esp hearing the thank you f you conversation about parents. I’m currently working through my relationship with some family members, and it’s hard. I’m glad I’m not sad and alone. Thank you.
Tiffany
2023-07-19 00:42:07 +0000 UTCYESsssss
Jilliannnnnnn
2023-07-19 00:35:56 +0000 UTCTed Lasso is 100% my comfort show.
Angelina
2023-07-18 23:50:50 +0000 UTCIs there any chance you will talk about Jamie Tartt in the future? His character arc is mind-blowing. Throughout the show, for me, the journey of Jamie Tartt is the best.
Rhonita Andarini
2023-07-18 23:43:58 +0000 UTCDefinitely worth joining patreon for this video alone Ted Lasso is a special show for all the reasons Allen mentioned and many more I too need to have the fuck you thank you conversation with my mum at some point and a bunch of things Dr Sharron says I bring up in therapy occasionally same goes for things Higgins says too.
Riley O'Neil
2023-07-18 22:13:14 +0000 UTCThank you!! You both bring so much good into the world. Thank you for discussing this amazing show and for sharing your awesome insights! Thanks to you and Ted Lasso, we can still BEVIEVE there are people in the world trying to lift one other and help us be better humans!
Pieter Lingen
2023-07-18 20:29:41 +0000 UTCSo excited for this. Such a good show. Random question, what are you going to do regarding the strike? Are you going to continue to put out content? Do you have thoughts about the strike that you’d like to share?
Jen Gelber
2023-07-18 18:50:35 +0000 UTCGrabbed a patreon subscription just to see this specific vid. So excited to see what you have to say in full length after seeing the YouTube version. I rewatched the whole show shortly after finishing it for the first time to see all the foreshadowing I missed, and through the whole entire rewatch all I could think was "Man, if I could ask the Cinema Therapy crew to watch one thing it would be Ted Lasso, not even for a video, just as people." I'm honestly just glad you guys saw it and were able to break down and enjoy the therapy it gives personally for yourselves, a whole video on it is better than what I could've hoped for. I've personally healed a lot by the amazing things the Ted Lasso team has done with the show. Absolutely masterful.
Planet Divide
2023-07-18 18:26:12 +0000 UTCMan I love this show so much, and I love yall for covering it. I cannot express in words how much this show has meant to me. I love that you describe it as overwhelmingly positive, as that is how I've described it to anyone who will listen. Like a lot of people this show helped me through a pretty dark time, not just in my life but in the world around me. I hope beyond hope that more media like this is made. And I hope beyond hope that yall continue to do what you do, continue to help people in the way that you have been, and continue to love doing it.
Lance Carmack
2023-07-18 17:23:09 +0000 UTCAlan I know that you want to make movies and I really really want that for you. Just remember that what you are doing now already helps. Cinema therapy episodes like this help. Your vulnerability helps and heals.
Seldanz_
2023-07-18 15:23:17 +0000 UTCI love Ted Lasso so much. Every character is so thought out from Trent Crimm (independent) to Danny Rojas and Colin. This show deserves like an episode each character for sure.
Lucero Barrera
2023-07-18 13:11:08 +0000 UTCI do have to wonder if the laws around patients and therapist were changed after shows like how I met your mother came out with relationships that just flew in the face of ethical practice. 🤷♀️ On a different note, this episode was very emotional but in a good way, thank you to the team at cinema therapy for bring us insight, fun, emotions and thoughts to promote us to think about life differently and to hopefully be better people ☺️
Esther Kennedy
2023-07-18 07:34:36 +0000 UTCAhh, just watched it and yeah.. Probably the best one y'all have done now in my opinion. Wanted to give a Big Agree to Alan about Ted Lasso being a ray of light in the darkness- I felt that hard. COVID started, I lost my dream job in the entertainment industry, my parents got divorced, and I relocated to another state to just work an emotionally taxing job in retail all at the same time and I was *rough*. And I got introduced to Ted Lasso, and it was like I clung onto it because of how good it felt, but also it felt like hope that things will be okay and get better. And it legitimately did carry me through these years since 2020, and I'm back at my dream entertainment job doing even more and growing more, and as the show came to a close it's like I took my own journey with it. So yeah, you're not the only one who feels very strongly about Ted Lasso. And I do very much agree with the recommendation for Shrinking. It's not exactly the same as Ted Lasso, but it does have a very similar vibe to it. I look forward to seeing more stuff like this show and I hope many future TV creators have taken note. Thanks again you guys!
Emily Snell-Salvaggio
2023-07-17 21:11:59 +0000 UTCI LOVED Ted Lasso and can't wait to hear your thoughts on it after work today.
Angelina
2023-07-17 20:51:16 +0000 UTCRight!?
Cinema Therapy
2023-07-17 20:34:13 +0000 UTCI empathize with Alan completely on this show, specifically on choosing not to have a difficult conversation with a parent. I had one a few years ago with my dad and it went fine, we at least get along now. But I've chosen not to do the same with my mom because I know it won't do any good. No one will ever be able to change my mind on this, because none of them had the experience that I did. Therefore I just have to do what's best for me and move on with my life. You're doing fine Alan, don't get down on yourself. There's something to be said for knowing what battles to fight and ones that its ok to walk away from. Credit to Jono too for letting Alan know that he's not in the wrong.
Ryan3000
2023-07-17 20:21:05 +0000 UTCI appreciate Alan’s vulnerability in every episode but this one hit home. I also loved Jono’s insight on Ted vs. Therapy! As someone with GAD, I found the depiction of Ted’s first panic attack almost triggering, it was incredibly accurate (though missing the tunnel vision/closing in feeling). Ugh. I just love Ted Lasso and I love Cinema Therapy. 💕
Team Walker
2023-07-17 20:03:13 +0000 UTCThank you Alan for your vulnerability, it has inspired me so much to do the same which I believe has made me stronger and started me on a journey to wholeness. Thank you Jono for modeling compassion and grace and how to extend it to others. This show has changed my life so immensely I cannot even begin to put it into words. I love you both and pray for you and your families.
Joy Ndanu
2023-07-17 19:51:25 +0000 UTCTed Lasso!!! And it's a long one!! Thank you guys for getting to this! Very excited to start watching
Emily Snell-Salvaggio
2023-07-17 19:31:02 +0000 UTCThe dart scene is what makes me want to watch this so much. Jon is right, this is the best scene ever.
Deb Kunkel
2023-07-17 19:27:26 +0000 UTCWOOHOO! CANNOT WAIT to watch this 🤩
AND eat cake
2023-07-17 19:17:02 +0000 UTCi seriously cannot believe this amazing wonderful compassionate show was originally born out of a series of JOKE PROMOTIONS for NBC Sports covering the premiere league.
Magnus Taliesin
2023-07-17 19:04:03 +0000 UTCThank you for covering this show, it's one of the best shows in recent years.
Caitriona Quigley
2023-07-17 19:00:30 +0000 UTCMAN I'm so unbelievably glad you guys have done this! It's such a poignant show with some powerful messages, am excited to sit down and have some proper feelings over this show again 😁
William Stollery
2023-07-17 18:23:37 +0000 UTCYES!!! This was a huge suggestion of mine. Can't wait to watch it.
Michael Emerson
2023-07-17 18:09:21 +0000 UTC
