DIRECTOR'S CUT: Therapist Reacts: A MONSTER CALLS
Added 2022-09-21 14:17:47 +0000 UTCHow do you face grief and loss? How can you let go - of people, of pain, of control?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright discuss the grieving process through the film A Monster Calls. They take a look at what to do when you feel powerless and can't fix things, how we can face the pain of a situation, the loss of a parent, and the beautiful storytelling and filmmaking in this movie. And of course they cry a lot!
Comments
When I saw this for the first time I pretty much ugly cried absolutely devastated me just a puddle of tears & snot on the floor , absolute wreck the special effects of this movie was awesome , flawless performance from the boy actor =;^;= 💔💔
☮️🪬Sonar IllusionFox🪬☮️
2023-12-27 02:02:22 +0000 UTCI have watched this film 3 times, two of those times were only about 16 hours apart. I have sobbed each and every time. Including watching this with you two, the Internet's Dad's (which is funny, because I do believe I am either about a year older than you or the same age). I can understand thinking that it might be a bit bloated at times, but man, the story hits so dang hard. I lost my step-father very suddenly when I was 27. I am 42 now and I still have a hard time with fully letting him go. His birthday is actually in 2 days and my mind has been on him a lot. I am thankful though, that I had precious moments with him, including with him in a medicated coma and me telling him not to worry about Mom, I'll take care of her. My biggest regret is that I left the hospital, at my mother's bidding, to go home and catch a nap because we had been with him at two different ICUs and I was exhausted. He died while I was asleep. It hurts so much to think I abandoned him when he needed me to be there to say goodbye. I did my best to make up for it by driving an hour each way to the funeral home and back for 3 days straight to get everything taken care of for his final resting place. I shamefully got drunk a few days after the funeral in the middle of the night, and while on the phone with one of my best friends, screamed at the top of my lungs that he was dead, over and over again until my husband came out of the bedroom to calm me. I have had MANY nights that my mom will text me and as me if I'm still awake, and I learned quickly that it was code for "I am hurting and missing Bill hard" and then called her and listened to her cry on the phone, knowing there was nothing I could do but listen to her and try to comfort her as much as possible. Losing someone you love sucks, I don't care who you are. I have dealt with death quite a bit in my life, once even when I was in high school and a friend of mine took his own life. It never makes sense, but part of living is that you lose people along the way, and one day you will be the one who is lost. Bravo to this film. I will come back to it again and again, bloated or not.
Karen R.
2023-02-15 04:50:57 +0000 UTC*in snape’s voice* That was absolutely brilliant…obviously
Tara Wolf
2022-12-24 18:02:16 +0000 UTCIt's ok to give yourself grace for this. You were a child. It's understandable you'd react the way you did. 11 years old is awfully young to be losing your mom. I'm so sorry.
Amy
2022-12-17 16:12:28 +0000 UTCThank you for such a heartfelt, honest discussion about this heart-wrenching but truthful film. I'm now 30, but I lost my mum to cancer when I was 11 (so very close to Connor's age in this film) and I have to say I don't think I've ever related to a character more than this kid. I think I cried about 70% of this film and had some big realisations about things I hadn't even began to come to terms with with my grief. I was bullied at school, I saw my mum deteriorating in front of me and couldn't do anything about it and I had that hope that things would just get better, when I think even at my age I knew that that wasn't going to be the case. That final scene when Connor just simply says 'I don't want you to go', I had to pause the film and cried for a good half hour, feeling full of regret, disgust and shame at myself, because I was given the opportunity to say goodbye to my mum, and I just couldn't do it. In hindsight (and even though it would seem like the weirdest thing to change about my life) I'd go back there and say goodbye properly. But I do remember understanding that Mum was suffering, but I must admit I can't really remember whether I truly understood what was going on, and I just wanted her suffering to end. On the night she died, I heard her scream out 'I can't do this anymore, just kill me!' as she died at home, and I slept above the room she was in at the time, and instead of going to see her (which probably wouldn't have helped at the time) I clearly remember my auntie coming upstairs to my room - obviously conscious I'd most likely have heard that and trying to protect me - and moving me into my brother's bed with him and I just fell straight back to sleep, when I could have gone to see my mum for the last time. But the weird thing is, that I woke up in my own bed again with no memory of how I got there, and this film made me wonder if subconsciously all I could bring myself to do at age 11 was be as close as I could at that moment to her, without actually being in the room. And talking about trying to get yourself punished, my Dad walked into my room the morning after she died and I knew exactly what he was going to tell me, and jumped out of bed and just hugged him and bawled my eyes out, and repeated the process with my nan and then my brother. And again, I was given the opportunity to go and say goodbye to mum (I wondered if my family wanted me to have sound proof she was gone, as maybe I was showing them part of me was still hopeful she'd live when she was ill) but I just still couldn't do it, and I think this film made me realise I punished myself by not saying goodbye when I had the chance. I took that away from myself because I didn't think I deserved it after avoiding going to see her the night before. To this day, that's still a big regret of mine. And I completely sympathise with Connor's character, and realise now that I did want things to be over just like him, so I didn't have to see or hear Mum's suffering and also what her suffering did to others around her, including me, but it never truly meant i wanted her gone, just the pain to stop. I was so lucky to have her for the time I did, and she was truly the most beautiful person inside and out in my eyes, and that's now how I remember her and have started to accept it. This film was like having a mirror put up in front of me. I can only be grateful for having good adults in my life. Still - to this day - my Dad is my absolute hero and i worship the ground he walks on. I am sorry for both of your losses, and send all my sympathies.
Jade Coulthurst
2022-10-31 14:26:47 +0000 UTCAwkward confession: I've never seen that movie. Time to rectify that! - Jonathan
Cinema Therapy
2022-10-05 05:06:18 +0000 UTCAs effective and affecting as the mother's speech about not feeling bad about being so angry that he can't even look as her, can we acknowledge that it is basically lifted straight out of Terms of Endearment?
Madeleine Bock
2022-10-05 03:30:27 +0000 UTCI def. cried a lot when I first watched this movie... And I know you guys don't take requests on the fly but I feel like if I don't mention this movie, I'll forget to request it when you guys open request submissions, but another J.A. Bayona film, which I'm sure you'd have a LOT to say about from a psychological perspective, is The Impossible. It was such a great film, with great acting all around (including casting actual survivors of the tsunami that the film is based on (as well as direct involvement by the family upon which the central story is based) made it very emotionally impactful. So... Keep that one in the back of your mind for the future, please? Thanks. You guys rock.
The Rev
2022-09-29 07:41:59 +0000 UTC*ugly cry*
Wendy Darling
2022-09-23 12:23:35 +0000 UTC
