Therapy Deep Dive: Co-Parenting with Peace
Added 2024-04-10 15:00:40 +0000 UTCLicensed therapist Jonathan Decker does a deep dive on healthy co-parenting. He talks about the dos and don'ts of co-parenting and what his own co-parenting experience has been like. He also shares practical steps for every blended family.
Movie clips: Ant Man and Marriage Story
Comments
Loved the video! My dad died before I turned 6, and my mum found a new partner about 2-3 years after that. I can relate a little to the sort of problems there can be...it was the complete opposite for me, my mum and stepdad were so afraid that I would resent them for replacing My dad that he was always a by-stander and wouldn't really open up. Now I'm 30 years old and I wish we had been better at it because he's not sby I confide in or feel close to on the whole.
S Marie
2024-04-15 15:23:39 +0000 UTCThanks. It was a long time ago. I also grew up and learned - I am not my parents. ๐
Wendy Darling
2024-04-12 16:54:59 +0000 UTCHonestly, while I respect the polyamorous community, I'm not well-versed enough in the unique dynamics or the research to speak to this in any way other that spitballing, which I'm not going to do :)
Cinema Therapy
2024-04-11 14:50:18 +0000 UTCI'm actually curious what your thoughts are on polyamorous co-parenting. Where there hasn't been divorce or anything, but there are new partners coming in. Do you think it works pretty much the same? Or should there be differences?
Smeeson
2024-04-10 22:37:24 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry you went through that.
Cinema Therapy
2024-04-10 19:10:20 +0000 UTCI would say creating p*rn out of the kids is grounds to keep them away from him. It's explotation and could contribute to direct harm later on. In the later questions, generally if he's a good dad, but wasn't a good husband, there's no reason to prevent that relationship from continuing. BUT I'd keep a close on eye the situation because how he treated the spouse could be how he treats the kids later on.
Cinema Therapy
2024-04-10 19:10:05 +0000 UTCSadly, when my parents divorced I did not experience civil co-parenting much less anything remotely healthy. My parents used me a The Messenger, an unknowing spy and partial confidant... all at the tender age of 11. To say it effected my whole life is an understatement. I never wanted to marry or have children. Did manage the marriage part and was determined to keep things at least courteous when we divorced after 21 years. It's great to see more healthy relationships depicted in real life and onscreen now. Just shows that it can be done and I for one appreciate the positive representation!
Wendy Darling
2024-04-10 17:31:49 +0000 UTCThat was beautiful! I'm in tears. I would really like to understamd more about that line when there has been abuse. Where does it become "abuse"? If, say hypothetically, my ex-husband was creating porn of our kids but they don't know about it, and he never touched them, is that abuse? Do I still encourage that relationship? They aren't in physical danger. Or what if he is only verbally and emotionally to the mother and not the kids? If the kids weren't being abused, should they still maintain a strong relationship? (Sorry. I know that's a lot of questions.)
Emily Powers
2024-04-10 17:20:09 +0000 UTCNot me crying at work over the ending of Marriage Story. Thanks for that ๐. This video was great. Co-parenting is something that is incredibly common and yet still incredibly difficult. There is another kind of co-parenting situation that I had never considered until I found myself in it, though, and that is a case where a child in one marriage had passed away, and the ex has a child with another person later. I had never really considered this to be a kind of co-parenting until my ex's new wife reached out to me after their son had been born, saying that she considered the son that my ex and I had to be a brother to their child. She was terrified of my response, which is understandable seeing as I was very unstable when my ex had last seen me. Thankfully, this happened after my painful healing process, so I had no issue with it. As someone who believes in an afterlife of some kind, I think this is a good starting point for people to be in during these situations while living. Sure, my husband and I and my ex and his new wife are not currently co-parenting in a literal sense now. But there's always a chance that an afterlife of some kind exists, so why not make peace here before possibly going to the next? Thanks again for posting a video that is incredibly relevant to just about everyone. There are so many people out there dealing with this kind of situation in some capacity that doesn't know how to handle it. It's great to see it being talked about it like it's normal rather than as taboo.
SaucyJTD
2024-04-10 16:13:43 +0000 UTCYou should do both daddys home movies that has lots of co parenting in them
Josh Jones
2024-04-10 15:19:16 +0000 UTC
