DIRECTOR'S CUT: Therapist Reacts to The Devil Wears Prada
Added 2024-03-25 16:31:56 +0000 UTCHow do you deal with a narcissist boss? How do you achieve a work-life balance?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are reacting to The Devil Wears Prada. They talk about how Miranda belittles Andy and how Andy loses herself as she finds her footing in her job. Jonathan talks about how to recognize and deal with narcissistic people in your life. And Alan praises the stellar writing and how exceptionally Meryl Streep plays the "evil" narcissistic boss. That's all.
Comments
lol. Keep in mind that this is SUPPOSED to be your reaction. It's kind of the entire point being made about Miranda's character.
Amy Petty
2024-09-11 19:44:01 +0000 UTCI wanna comment on something: if Miranda knew that her girls recital was the very next day and there was weather reports of a hurricane — wouldn’t it be reasonable to know that beforehand? I understand it can come up but that part is always like: babe, hurricanes and storms are easier to predict? Like wouldn’t Emily or Andy tell Miranda that? Though again, we aren’t dealing with a reasonable person. So I do get Andy’s panic but the hurricane in the background has me “???”.
Emily
2024-08-28 00:10:20 +0000 UTCI really appreciate that! I knew I was asking a lot. I'm just one person with a fairly specific trigger, and I know there's limits to what I can ask of people. But I can't say enough how much I appreciate you're willingness to try. Thank you so much!
Amy Petty
2024-07-27 21:11:32 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry for what happened to you. Of course, I would be happy to make that adjustment. - Jonathan
Cinema Therapy
2024-07-27 14:27:47 +0000 UTCThis is a request for Jono: at around the 32:30ish mark when they're talking about what Andi did to Emily - you use a very specific word in characterizing what Andi did. Could I make a request? This is a very triggering word for me. I was mugged a few years ago and had a knife held against my neck. (I think this should telegraph to you the word I'm referring to if you weren't sure before). So I do find it pretty triggering for the violent image it conjures in my mind. Thing is, you actually use this word somewhat frequently in your videos. Enough so that I've learned to be careful in how I navigate your character analyses. Would it be an imposition to ask if you tried to find an alternative descriptor? I know it's unreasonable and unrealistic to expect creators to adhere to every audience member's whim, but I figured it couldn't hurt to put it out there.
Amy Petty
2024-07-26 20:43:47 +0000 UTCI don't know how rude I was back then, but certainly know It's expected. I do think that she, wanting to be a journalist, should've done a quick search at the very least. I think it just goes to show how little she cared for that world and for that job in general in a magazine she never intended to work for in the long term.
Kate Ackerley
2024-04-23 05:30:52 +0000 UTCHow dare they click away? Haha I love you both so much! I think you both make such great points and I love the cinematography stuff! I mean, I can watch a movie and know how it makes me feel but sometimes it's hard to tell why or how it's making me feel it and you always explain it so well!
Kate Ackerley
2024-04-23 05:25:10 +0000 UTCI love that Miranda is horrible but also has many quite human qualities. I have no idea who came up with that idea to call Anne Hathaway fat. It's even much worse than Natalie in love actually. These movies should have same disclaimer barbie has when she claims she isn't pretty enough :D
BlackAdder
2024-04-11 08:39:42 +0000 UTCThis is an article that was in the back of my mind, too https://finance.yahoo.com/news/wasn-t-built-9-5-090000382.html
Angie
2024-03-30 17:39:32 +0000 UTCI do love your team's edits. They crack me up! :)
Melissa
2024-03-29 22:02:34 +0000 UTCprops to Jono for taking a moment to dismantle the myth of meritocratic principles. would love to see y’all break down The Good Place🫶🏻
Julia Pearson
2024-03-29 18:02:44 +0000 UTCI think Andy's boyfriend is a little bit of a jerk. He knows why she's doing this, and instead of helping her see it is instead consuming her, he beats on her for it. Sometimes partners need to be willing to step back and offer support so that these moments in life of all in, making less demands, so that the added stress of that pressure doesn't add to the pressure already being felt. Also, why do movies keep trying to tell us that Anne Hathaway is not pretty?
Deb Kunkel
2024-03-28 16:46:10 +0000 UTCThis may come across as hammering a point home but please know -- this is hyper focus on an interesting topic and I just had more thoughts on it. Re: Gen Z lacking resilience -- what if it's not that they lack resilience, but that they're appropriately recognizing that IT SUCKS to be a chair wart 8-12 hours a day. And for what, exactly? I totally get what you're saying Alan about the film industry standards -- you're right, there's no room for a life -- but hopefully, it's short-ish and per project. The future is pretty bleak if you're 19-22:years old, starting at the bottom, and facing 40+ years of 'the grind' in a job that's boring, doesn't pay well, and maybe they won't be able to buy a house. But, for those of us halfway through 'the grind' -- it's about enjoying the journey, and maybe that's the resilience that's lacking? That may just be maturity; I'm not sure. But I do know that having found a purpose helps with the bleak outlook.
Angie
2024-03-28 15:22:28 +0000 UTC“What do you Profit if you gain the whole world and lose your soul.” Really good, solid reminder. I think there was a band called DC Talk that had a song covering that premise. Or maybe it was Toby Mac? In any case, it’s stuck in my head now. :) Really nice episode. Thanks guys!
IndyDraws
2024-03-28 15:13:38 +0000 UTCAlan -- I totally agree about Gen Z setting more boundaries than most of the older Gen folks I know. I envy them for having the knowledge and capacity to first know that a boundary should exist, and then also putting it in place. My gut says a lot of the very negative "Gen Z is too lazy to work" rhetoric is coming from older gens being shocked at the boundary and then blowing it off because THEY weren't allowed to do that...etc. I'm going to have to look into the drop in resilience because from my knowledge on the subject, emotional intelligence is the catalyst for building resilience -- and I find it difficult to process that they would have the emotional intelligence to set boundaries but somehow that doesn't translate to resilience...? I wonder if the study conflates resilience and trauma response tbh. Those are so not the same thing, even if it gets a similar result. Trauma response is why We Cry with Alan 🤣 Maybe Jono can chime in? Because now I'm *really* invested 🤣
Angie
2024-03-28 14:47:32 +0000 UTCThere is a lot of interesting research showing that younger millennials and Gen Z are significantly less “resilient” than previous generations. Anecdotally, I think I can support that. But ALSO true, simultaneously, is that Gen Z are setting healthier boundaries, and not becoming work automatons in the way that has been expected in American work culture for a couple generations now. It’s weird, because I work in a high-pressure job. Not because of toxicity, but just because every time I pick up a camera, tens of thousands up to millions of dollars are on the line. There is pressure there to perform art, quickly, efficiently, and at an extremely high quality level. No matter what goes wrong, or what’s happening in your personal life that day. There can be no mental health days on a film set, because of economic reality. Point is, I can see both sides of the argument. And there is validity to both perspectives. Though I tend to think that, in nearly all situations, humanity and fairness should win out over profit and productivity. Balance in all things.
Alan Seawright
2024-03-28 14:34:23 +0000 UTCYou’d be our first call!
Alan Seawright
2024-03-28 14:24:25 +0000 UTCThis is… a VERY good idea.
Alan Seawright
2024-03-28 14:23:29 +0000 UTCI think we’re going to make a video specifically about Nate the The Friends. We’ve gotten TONS of that same comment, and frankly, we agree with you. He and friends aren’t perfect. But they’re certainly not the villains.
Alan Seawright
2024-03-28 14:22:11 +0000 UTCGlad you’re learning the subtleties of what it takes to be an artist! You need to rally others to your vision, without being dictatorial! Literally the toughest balancing act I face when directing! And thank you for your kind comments! I do end up more in the DC edits here on Patreon. Honestly, the reason there isn’t much of me in the YouTube edits is, and we have LOADS of data to back this up: If I talk about filmmaking stuff for more than about 15 seconds, people start clicking away from the show. People really come for Jono, I’m just a dash of sugar to make it go down easy? 🤷🏼♂️
Alan Seawright
2024-03-28 14:20:46 +0000 UTCI really needed this episode. I have PTSD from a toxic work environment (doing much better now, in the healthiest work environment I’ve ever been in), but it takes constant reminders that I wasn’t a bad person for struggling in that toxicity. Everything Jono said about a narcissistic employer was spot on, including their personal life being a mess so work becomes their identity. I wish I hadn’t stayed so long, but at least I know my worth now!
Team Walker
2024-03-28 13:13:30 +0000 UTC"I told the national guard it was for Miranda Priestly and they just hung up on me. Maybe they need to see you personally."
Amelie W
2024-03-27 13:41:07 +0000 UTCI think Buckminister Fuller said, "Those who play with the devil's toys will be brought by degrees to wield his sword." My thought about that condescending speech, when I watched the movie just now to prepare for this video, was, "Okay, it's cerulean. I've got some other adjectives for it, for why I choose to wear it. Would you like to hear, since you bring up my motivations? 'To tell the world I don't care about what I wear' and such? Yeah? I choose this sweater because it was a) cheap, b) comfortable and c) fairly durable. I hear what you're telling me, that what you do matters because it's your work that made me wear this cerulean thing, but I'll tell you: it's fine that it matters to you, but you want to convince me that it matters to me as much, and it doesn't, because if you make me choose between cerulean and azure I'll just take whatever is cheapest. You don't seem to realize the fashion industry exists just to feed on itself, but compare it with sports: another closed cultural ecosystem. The athletes and the fans and the sports writers and sponsors do their thing and everyone's happy, and sometimes they make headlines when they push the limits of human achievements, but what they think and do is rarely relevant to anyone outside their circle. Imagine Lynne Cox telling you that you don't have the physique for open water swimming. That's unlikely to happen because Lynne Cox is a kind and charitable lady, but when Miranda Priestly sneers at me for wearing a lumpy sweater you can imagine it's as devastating to me as that would be to you." We could extend that comparison and talk about how Runway magazine acts as if only athletes could write about sport or even assist the sports editor's first assistant but I figure at this point I'm already carried away by security.
Amelie W
2024-03-27 13:24:55 +0000 UTCI love this movie and the analysis. I actually used this film as a focus of study in one of my business comm classes on college. But I was curious, do Miranda's actions at the end of the film muddy her diagnosis as a narcissist? It has been confirmed that Andy's value to Miranda is directly tied to what she can do for her and nothing else. So once Andy wakes up and leaves, Andy should no longer exist in Miranda's universe. But instead Miranda sends a fax to an editor for a job Andy is trying to get, noting the value she would bring to that organization, and the opportunity that the editor would miss out on if he didn't hire her. Any thoughts?
Arielle Bejar
2024-03-27 13:10:10 +0000 UTCThank you for talking about this movie and your amazing insights on it. I should definitely do (another) rewatch soon.
Amanda B Cook
2024-03-27 00:00:23 +0000 UTCI am so glad I found you guys. I just found your channel through the avatar videos and I am in love with the content. I love both perspectives, the therapist and the cinematographer. I like Alan's bits about cinematography and how the camera/effect/etc makes sense with the emotion at the moment. And of course, Jonathan nails the therapy perspective so well. As an artist myself, I find a lot of richness in both sides and I even wished Alan would dive a bit deeper into the cinematography at times. Now, this react has come in such a good time for me. I have just watched this movie again last week, after so many years. I finally felt my perspective change on it. I used to worship this movie and kinda hated the ending. When I was in my teens, I wanted to grow a business, be a boss girl, be a tiny Miranda. But now in my 30's, I have really felt the consequence of my actions and seen the other side of the coin. Now I feel like I understand what actual integrity is like. Its not to "avoid the hustle", or to "remain naive". Its actually to be honest to yourself, and people around you, what do you really want. And be honest about why you want it, and if you are having fun with it. I loved your take on Andy's reaction to her boyfriend. It really hit the nail in the head for me. Sorry for the long post. This was just really reflexive :) Thank you for the amazing work!
Paula Shin
2024-03-26 19:42:50 +0000 UTCAnother great one - Jonno I think you'd enjoy this two-part book series called the "monk and robot" which has a delightful little journey about self-worth and meaning/purpose. As a supervisor I have very high expectations. And I have that for TWO reasons. 1. the work that needs to get done (in nonprofit) and 2. because high expectations are also good for my staff. It helps them grow, gain confidence, and become badasses in their own field. I believe a supervisor should always have their staff in mind when it comes to expectations. What's realistic, what promotes growth, what's good for your organization.
Nova Villmark
2024-03-26 19:16:19 +0000 UTCThat is golden! Never saw that before. It’s also really cool to see that the Oscars used to do this for Costuming awards. It’s a shame tech and design awards don’t get this kind of attention like that anymore.
Emily Snell-Salvaggio
2024-03-26 18:55:18 +0000 UTCSuuuuch a good movie! And did I hear a recognition to Simon Baker for The Mentalist?? Extra points to coolness. Loved all of the talking points about narcissism, integrity, and identifying a toxic work environment.
Emily Snell-Salvaggio
2024-03-26 18:45:55 +0000 UTCI am so glad how you guys approached this movie with this video. Every YouTube video of this movie always has the same responses that the BF and her friends are the real bad guys in this movie. This didn't make any sense to me because Nate never yelled at her or gave her that hard of a time about her work. He wasn't furious when she missed his birthday, he stated that he didn't care about what work she does and they hardly ever fought. Also, Lily's response to Andy was perfectly sound and yet people are acting like Lily's overreacting. I'm finally glad someone is realistic about the situation of this movie is. Great work.
Brandon Payne
2024-03-26 18:33:35 +0000 UTCI wonder what it would have looked like if Andy had already known her value beforehand. "My apologies for leaving my weather control wand in my other purse, Miranda. I shall note that next time the highest priority should be the girls' recital, and schedule your travel accordingly, ensuring you are home at least 36 hours in advance, and allowing for contingencies for things like hurricanes. Is that all?"
Amy Robinson
2024-03-26 17:42:37 +0000 UTCYeah, that.
tropetweeter
2024-03-26 16:25:43 +0000 UTChttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eblda6d_lOw&ab_channel=Oscars
Sofia
2024-03-26 15:42:18 +0000 UTCWatching this I can't help noticing how unprofessionally Andy behaves at the start of this film - not just for the fashion industry, but for *any* industry. She turned up at the interview completely and utterly unprepared, and then even after she was hired she does things like sniggering during a meeting. I'm not fan of Miranda's, but Andy started off downright rude.
Nikita Harvey (she,her)
2024-03-26 15:31:05 +0000 UTCThere were a lot of youtube videos saying how Nate was the "villain" of the movie because he didn't support Andy in her career.
Dorikuu Garcia
2024-03-26 03:28:19 +0000 UTCI could certainly see that -- especially if that older coworker grew up with a completely different workplace model and she's just been boiling in the frog pot all this time. She may have no idea how much it actually has changed.
Angie
2024-03-26 03:12:04 +0000 UTCThis is one of my favorite movies!
just me
2024-03-26 03:01:44 +0000 UTCI've never seen the take that he was a bad boyfriend... and I think they didn't see the same movie I did. :) Nate did a great job of washing yellow flags at Andy about the path she was taking and she chose not to hear him.
just me
2024-03-26 03:01:24 +0000 UTCThis is still one of my favourite films, thank you for this perspective and dive into such a brilliantly performed and portrayed character. Yes sir, only one Streep! I, too, adore Stanley Tucci, one of my favourite performances of his is as the father in Easy A. One of the motivating factors for me to become a subscriber was the brilliant editing, so massive shout out of appreciation to your editors, they are god-like in their talents!
Amy G
2024-03-26 02:59:57 +0000 UTCI've seen a lot of interesting discussion on this, from both sides, on Ask A Manager (the BEST workplace advice resource. Ever.) In particular, I'm thinking about this article where an older person sees younger coworkers seeing healthier boundaries and struggling with her own resentment. https://www.askamanager.org/2023/02/i-resent-our-new-hires-for-setting-better-work-life-boundaries-than-our-company-normally-has.html
just me
2024-03-26 02:59:47 +0000 UTCMaybe 🤔
Bryan Charles Vish
2024-03-26 01:06:30 +0000 UTCKind of exactly my thoughts. Or more like "Wait, they're hiring!? Oh, wait, I don't live even a little close..."
Lightning Dragon Master
2024-03-26 00:51:03 +0000 UTCAre you thinking of another narcissist like I am? 🍊
tropetweeter
2024-03-26 00:34:42 +0000 UTCMy whole frame of reference for this movie is that skit at the Oscars. I don’t think it could have been scripted, but it might have been. Anne and Emily are presenting some category, and they both say hi to Meryl, and then Anne starts talking about where’s Meryl’s cappuccino, and Emily’s passing the buck. Meanwhile, Meryl is just giving a piercing stare. 😂
tropetweeter
2024-03-25 23:56:25 +0000 UTCI wonder if a cinema bromance/friendship analysis would be possible with the relationship we see with Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday in the film “Tombstone” Edit: Yayy:)
Trenton Griggs
2024-03-25 22:53:11 +0000 UTCAnd it’s the same person who directed Meryl in Mamma Mia
Shani Gribben
2024-03-25 22:09:41 +0000 UTCThank you! I always hated when people say how horrible of a boyfriend cause he wasn't supportive. He was supportive but also wasn't going to be neglected. He also saw Andy turning into something he knew that wasn't really her.
Holly MP
2024-03-25 22:07:18 +0000 UTCWould you consider doing an episode on "The River Wild"? It's not a great movie, I know, but, a) Meryl Streep b) David Strathairn c) has some of the best presentations of realistic marriage in a movie (probably because the movie is about something else entirely!)
Katharine Kroeber-Wiley
2024-03-25 21:54:48 +0000 UTCAgreed! Can we talk through "The Iron Lady" on the channel sometime? (The film didn't convince me to like Thatcher any better but I think it helped me to understand her a little better.)
Nicole Robertson
2024-03-25 21:45:22 +0000 UTCAs someone who has also worked with bosses who were not great (obviously not to the level of Meryl Streep) no matter how much money you’re getting paid it’s not worth it losing your sense of self and not aligning with your morals. I used to work for a private school for special education kiddos and she prioritized her ability to make them “better” over the safety for the other kids. It was so difficult to watch, and when I spoke up about it I became the black sheep and the “problem”, even tho her lack of precautions actively put other kids in danger, because according to her she was the best teacher and the best supervisor of kids with disabilities and if something bad happened it was the teachers fault. Even tho if you’ve worked with kids , especially disabled in kids in any capacity you know sometimes no matter what you do meltdowns happen and the priority becomes keeping that kid and other kids safe. I left and am now working for an amazing boss that always prioritizes safety over everything else and it’s such a relief.
Betty White
2024-03-25 20:54:36 +0000 UTCHopefully not, but maybe? Lol
Angie
2024-03-25 20:21:03 +0000 UTCWe need more Meryl Streep content on this channel please!
Shani Gribben
2024-03-25 20:08:09 +0000 UTCI've only watched the introduction and I already feel like everyone in America needs to watch this.
Bryan Charles Vish
2024-03-25 20:06:32 +0000 UTCAnd will there be a 100 people who will break my neck to get it if I apply?
Anders
2024-03-25 19:33:56 +0000 UTCHappy birthday!!
Cinema Therapy
2024-03-25 19:31:33 +0000 UTCNo way!
Cinema Therapy
2024-03-25 19:31:20 +0000 UTCThank u
Alice Hoade
2024-03-25 19:18:37 +0000 UTCHappy Birthday!! 🎉🥳🎂
Tiana Horsey-Daydreamer
2024-03-25 19:17:39 +0000 UTCIf your therapist treats you like this, it's time to look for a new therapist.
Anders
2024-03-25 18:56:23 +0000 UTCWhat are you hiring for and is it remote? 🤔
Angie
2024-03-25 18:02:48 +0000 UTCIf a position opens up for a relentless pun gremlin, I'm throwing my resumé in.
Smidge
2024-03-25 17:46:19 +0000 UTCIf you're hiring, I'm moving pronto. 😂
Rebecca McCoy
2024-03-25 17:34:47 +0000 UTCI'm about halfway through this episode and what strikes me is that when Andy starts falling in line and her boyfriend is driving home the point that the phone calls she takes are the relationship she's actually in: it's a great metaphor regarding the current culture/generational war on work ethic. Whether or not it's fair or true, Gen Z is seeing this dynamic in the movie and assuming it's real life; and on the other side, Gen X and Boomers are calling them lazy and entitled. I'm not entirely sold that real, actual people feel this way, that younger gen workers are all "lazy and entitled" -- it's entirely through the lens of MSM news articles portraying Gen Z workers as "too lazy to work for 8 hours," and they're not adopting work as their identity. I think it may be similar to the culture war/"woke mind virus" stuff where the politicians and pundits *think* they have their finger on the pulse of America, but then the culture warrior political candidates who say ask the right things on social media to get clicks and engagement aren't all making it into office -- and that indicates that perhaps their "polling" isn't great anymore. I would say to the older gens -- we were largely taken advantage of and made to believe these absolutely anti-human conditions are not only normal, but that other people are "too lazy" to do the work in the computer age of what would have been 3 or 4 employees without computers. Maybe we're actually not right on this count -- it helps to at least entertain the idea to examine it for truth. We know much less than we think we know, and our heuristics and stereotypes are maybe useful (MAYBE) at generalizations, but it's important not to apply a stereotype or heuristic to a population at large.
Angie
2024-03-25 17:33:01 +0000 UTCI just finished watching this movie!!! I love the breakdown!
Fell Hawke
2024-03-25 17:30:31 +0000 UTCThat's all....
Anna Murray
2024-03-25 17:17:06 +0000 UTC"We're hiring" I've never stopped what I was doing so fast to figure out what you're hiring for!
Holly✌️
2024-03-25 17:15:36 +0000 UTCThe therapist wears cinema
Dr Diabeto
2024-03-25 17:07:32 +0000 UTCI have an unpopular opinion: Nate was a good boyfriend that had boundaries but Andy didn't respect them. Part of the disrespect comes from her starting to act like Miranda. Affective accountability was what Nate wanted from Andy's behavior, but she didn't understand it because the role model she was following lacked of it. At the end, Andy, Nate and their relationship were victims of the narcissistic behavior of Miranda.
Dorikuu Garcia
2024-03-25 17:05:54 +0000 UTCHappy birthday! Another trip around the sun 😎
Angie
2024-03-25 16:55:13 +0000 UTCYay new episode. Happy birthday to me
Alice Hoade
2024-03-25 16:52:23 +0000 UTCI WAS JUST WATCHING BEHIND THE SCENES FOR DWP WHEN THIS ALERT CAME UP! 🤣🤣
Tiana Horsey-Daydreamer
2024-03-25 16:35:35 +0000 UTCOmg I love the devil wears prada
Sky
2024-03-25 16:33:54 +0000 UTCI need this today. 😅
Holly✌️
2024-03-25 16:33:37 +0000 UTC
