I’m feeling a little better today. My anxiety is slowly decreasing from being at one of its highest points. I have extreme social anxiety so whenever it spikes up - I hide away from the world.
I haven’t replied to emails, messages, texts or absolutely anything for days now.. but I’m gonna try get back to everyone asap, especially my family and close friends.
It’s strange having both anxiety and depression. It’s the weirdest thing. Because I want so badly to be comforted and distracted by company but also want to withdraw and be completely alone at the same time. And that became my coping strategy for many years.. Im like a cute little squirtle constantly using ‘withdraw’ and hiding in my little shell 😅
I’m doing my best to beat this as it’s definitely not a good strategy but it does work and that’s why I guess I havent changed. I have lost LOADS (not an exaggeration) of friends and even family because of this.. and im just so so thankful for the people in my life who have for some reason decided to stick by me and support me even knowing I’m a pretty shit friend because of my mental illnesses.. I absolutely love and adore the few people I have in my life that still love me for the WHOLE of me and don’t run when I have my problems ... which is a lot 😭😅
And finally my last point - I have no idea why bullet points happened and why the text is layered out this way. Crazy stuff 😂 haha
Anyway!! It’s just me going on again! Hopefully feel back myself a bit more soon, gonna book a new photo shoot as soon as I can too!
Thank you guys for just being YOU. Giving me reason and support and friendships 🥰
