THE DIFFICULTY OF TRANS COMICS

One thing I see discussed a lot lately in the comics circle is representation, and particularly with regard to trans people working in comics and creating trans characters, as well as the problems that arise when cis people tackle trans narratives. I'm mostly going to discuss my difficulty in relaying my trans experience in comics, and my portraying trans people in my art.

I don't know how to do a "trans narrative," in that I a) second-guess myself a lot, and b) overthink everything. I have a tendency to focus on how something might be taken politically, looking at all sides of it, realizing that something could be misconstrued, and then backing out entirely. I don't think that's good for the general population, because, like, if you're worried about any one negative feeling toward something, you'll never do anything. Simply by producing a trans narrative, you're already likely to piss somebody off, especially with consideration for the comics bros out there who thinks everything needs to be catered toward them.

So then how do I go about it? Do I choose to make a very grounded story, with real-life stakes? Well, if I do that, then it might just end up being really sad, and, while sometimes a trans experience CAN BE really sad, I just don't want to make bummer comics. On the other hand, there is a lot of joy to find in the day-to-day, but I don't know how to portray that joy through art. It's like...so sometimes I will express joy at a little thing that has happened to me, and like, cis people won't get it. And I am like, "But how?" By they don't! I am always baffled, but so be it, I guess! I just have to keep having those joys!

What if I just try to express them for the trans audience? Well, I dunno. My art style flirts with kind of intense melodrama in some ways - probably pulled from the romantic shit in some John Romita Jr. stuff, as well as some "romantic" shit in SIN CITY. So expressing that joy might be more tough. It's like every little thing that happens wrests in life or death. Maybe that's cool for some things, but I don't know that it's the best for wrestling with the difficulty of portraying a very day-to-day life of a trans person.

Okay, then do I try for some kinda metaphor thing, like the X-MEN, where I have something stand for being trans? FUCK NO I DON'T DO THAT. By this point, that's not what we need. We're in the public eye all the time, and hiding ourselves behind the false representation of some other subjugated group will not help. It might not HURT, but it won't help, especially since the intricacies of being trans are REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT. Right now, I am on Twitter tweeting with several trans women about tucking, and like...you're probably not going to have that conversation if you're not a trans woman (or unless you do drag). Or what about breast development so late in life? Or crazy hormonal imbalances that maybe cis women dealt with as teens, but you have to deal with in your twenties or beyond? Societal pressures are one thing, and those are not impossible to represent through metaphor, but, due to the circumstances, I would much rather do something grounded than use a metaphor.

Ah, but what about like weird escapist sci-fi? Like, something that deals with trans people, but less their actual real-life issues? This is the type of shit I lean toward, maybe because I don't want to end up being so heavy-handed (and I know my tendency is to do so). In JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS, for instance, Blaze comes out as trans and deals with that issue when the pressure is upon her, but after that, it's basically just a non-thing. Like, you know she's trans, and so she can move on and live her life. And that's really important! That's kinda he way I feel about my own life (and am surprised when other people take offense to my existence). In fact, the book is one of those which does something that I find tricky, in general, and that is to portray lots of body types and races without them ever being seen as a societal issue, while somehow not exactly being color-blind, too. I think it's important, especially for kids, to see that kind of boundless joy between people who are different from each other.

And so, yeah, what about that kind of narrative? I always had this idea of this trans girl and her girlfriend breaking a barrier in space-time and kinda exploring and doing cool shit while being super gay, but I never figured out how best to approach it. I think that's the kind of story where a character's trans-ness can be apparent enough for it to matter within the narrative, but no so much a deal that it IS the narrative. Cuz I look at my life, and I am like, "Whelp, I dunno, this shit would be boring to portray!" So something kinda fun and dazzling is how I'd like to do this, but then we hit the other tricky part, and that is drawing trans people.

There are a couple of ways I have seen this done, and I don't...really know the best way. Sometimes I see a trans woman drawn basically as a cis woman. And there's some merit to that! In that, yes, women are women, and there is no specific way any trans woman looks. BUT, it also negates the reality of the situation that actually trans women typically do have some distinguishing features that are slightly different from those of cis women. Okay, then include those!! Uh oh, you gave her an Adam's Apple! That's a no-go! You drew her as a girl with a dude's face! Not so good! -- Even though some of these things seem apparent in very real people, they're not the right choices artistically, due to how trans women have been portrayed in media for so long, and the danger that can come from that. You have to find the right balance and mixture to get it across, but without being, like, OBVIOUS.

So I don't really know how! Regrettably, I tend toward girl body/dude-ish face, but I am trying to back away from that to have more meaning for those who read it, as well as for myself! Irma one of those things I have to figure out before even attempting a trans narrative, because the art is often where the representation is seen first. I remember listening to this great podcast over the controversial ISLAND issue 15 cover, where Ronald Wimberly talked about how an artist should draw black people, both if it is to be done in the ink, or in the color; it's something that I have thought about a lot since, because you HAVE to do the work to get it right and to not accidentally trample on the group you're actively trying to represent.

My hope is to do a trans comic at some point, one that kicks all kinds of ass and provides a lot of fun and joy for trans people, without sacrificing all of the real-world implications behind being trans. But I probably have to get beyond only doing single-page comics first!!