Web of Chaos - Chapter 15: Impossible Standards

Relia watched a dozen memories unfold from Elend’s childhood, from the day he created Glim, to the moment he trapped her with the soul oath.

Akariel’s ashes. This explained so much. 

Elend and Glim were inseparable today, but few relationships started out like that. People faced hurdles and hardships along the way, and children made mistakes. 

If they weren’t careful, those mistakes could ripple for decades, even into the Master realm.

Glim could still appear as a Missile today, but that Missile wasn’t truly her. She could see the world, but she couldn’t feel it, smell It, or taste it. Elend had taken that chance forever.

The wooden floorboards squeaked beneath Relia’s boots as she stepped between the young pair. Elend towered over Relia in the present day, but his younger self barely reached her shoulder. Glim was about the same size as her current self, but far less detailed. Probably a limitation of Elend’s mana reserves.

Time had frozen at some point in the memory. All except for Relia and her father, who could still walk freely around the scene. She reached out and tried to touch the young Elend, but his form fuzzed like broken dream mana.

“These are Elend’s private memories.” Relia spread out her hands and glanced around the bedroom. “How can we see them?”

“These aren’t just his memories.” Ashur nodded past the twelve-year-old Elend, toward the blue mana spirit in the mirror. “They’re also hers.”

“Glim? But how? How’d you even find out about her?”

“I’ll show you.” Ashur waved a hand, and Elend’s bedroom unraveled before her eyes. It reminded her of the arenas at school and how the dream sigils would transform her surroundings from one zone to another. 

This new dream looked like a high school gymnasium, decorated for a winter dance. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, scattering blue light across the crowd. Young couples swayed in their formal dresses and suits, and the scents of punch and perfume hung heavy in the air.

“Koreldon Prep School,” her father said as they walked around the edge of the dance floor. “Fifty-three years ago.” His voice was clear despite the loud music.

Relia’s gaze darted left and right, searching for a familiar face.

“There.” Her father gestured to the center of the dance floor where a teenage boy was slow-dancing with two girls. The boy was obviously Elend, but he’d grown a foot taller since the last memory. Relia didn’t recognize either of his partners.

And . . . why were there two of them? Especially for a slow songs like this. Friends danced in groups all the time, but that looked like more than just a friendly dance.

“Do you see him?” her father asked after a short pause.

“Um, yeah.” Relia couldn’t pull her eyes from the scene. “But who’s he dancing with?”

“I believe those are his girlfriends. Miranda Windsong and Talia Durran.”

“Girlfriends? Relia stressed the plural sound, then wrinkled her nose. “Eww.” She might not be this judgmental in real life, but this was Elend. She didn’t want to see him dancing with any woman who wasn’t Irina, much less two of them. “What happened to that lonely kid from before?”

“Dream mana,” her father said.

Relia’s disgust turned to cold terror. “You mean he’s . . .”

“Elend was still just a Novice at this point,” Ashur replied. “He’s not as strong as you think. But yes, he used his aspect to . . . expand his social circle.”

“Please tell me they didn’t . . .” Relia found herself tongue-tied once again. But what was she supposed to ask?

“They didn’t,” he replied. “As I said, he wasn’t that strong.”

Great. As if that made it better. Elend had mentioned a phase where he’d abused his aspect, but that always felt like ancient history. She hadn’t realized how gross it would be.

“But enough of that,” Ashur said. “We’re here to see Glimmer.”

They kept walking until they reached a red-haired boy who sat alone in one corner of the room. Relia’s father clearly aged as much as Elend. Or rather, he’d followed an elaborate alchemy routine to keep his hair from turning gray.

Relia scanned the nearby tables and spotted another girl sitting alone in the room’s opposite corner. She had a dark olive complexion, with her black hair in a tight bun. “Is that Irina?”

Ashur nodded. “You know her as Irina Darklight today, but I knew her as Irina Mistblade.”

Unlike the other girls with their flowing dresses and bright colors, Irina wore a black blouse and a pair of matching pants. She looked less like a student, and more like a young business woman.

Relia’s father gestured back to his younger self. “Now watch closely.”

She followed his gaze to the young Ashur who stared intently down at the table. A few seconds passed, then a tiny blue reflection appeared in his water glass. The boy pushed his chair back, got to his feet, and headed for the exit. His route took him past the young Irina, and he slipped her a note on the way out.

“What’s it say?” Relia asked as they followed.

“I’m asking her to meet me in the teachers' bathroom.”

Relia glanced over her shoulder before they left the gymnasium. Irina waited until Ashur had left, then she wove her way around the dance floor toward another exit. 

“I’d been meeting with Glimmer for weeks,” Ashur said as they walked. “Things got worse between her and Elend over the years. He ignored her, and that threatened her very existence.”

Relia’s heart ached for the poor mana spirit. How could things have gotten this bad between them?

Their route took them through a maze of polished marble floors and wood-paneled walls, lined with trophy cases and faded photographs. Moonlight shone through the tall glass windows, casting long shadows across the empty halls. Music echoed all the way from the gym, loud enough to rattle the locker doors in their frames.

The young Ashur strode purposely ahead, while Irina crept behind him like a jungle cat. At one point, she faded into the shadows between two tall windows. A pair of Apprentice-level guards strolled right past her, and Irina became a dark statue while she waited. Her face betrayed no nerves or guilt. Just cold hard focus.

The guards rounded the corner, and Irina continued on. Her footsteps were silent against the waxed floors, and she probably wore special shoes that muffled their sounds. 

“Mistblade,” Relia chewed on the name as they approached the wooden staircase. Wasn’t that a clan of assassins? She’d already known Irina’s maiden name, but she hadn’t given it much thought. Plenty of clans had brutal histories, but that didn’t necessarily mean the children followed in their footsteps. Relia was living proof of that fact.

She glanced toward the young Ashur as he climbed the stairs. “I thought these were your memories,” she told her father. “How can we see what Irina’s doing?”

“The Ethereal serves as a record of all human thought,” he replied. 

“What? Everyone’s thoughts?” She could accept that Aeons had unique powers, but this sounded more like omniscience. 

“I can connect to the minds around me,” he said as they followed his younger self up the stairs. “The unshielded ones, at least. It’s not perfect by any means. Just enough to get a vague impression.”

“So that’s why the guards didn’t see you. You made yourself invisible.”

A faint smile touched his lips. “I’m surprised you noticed that.”

In all honesty, she’d only noticed because of Akari’s memory. Ashur had used the same technique during their fateful meeting in the diner outside Last Haven. Akari had assumed it was a potion, or a piece of sigilcraft tech. But Relia’s grandmother had told her stories from her homeworld—stories of Aeons who could mimic dream mana.

People didn’t trust dream artists for obvious reasons, and that made it hard for them to succeed in politics. But if Ashur had learned these techniques in secret, that might explain his sudden rise to power.

They reached the second floor, and the young Ashur approached the teachers' bathroom. The door opened and closed with a soft click, and Irina slipped in beside him a few minutes later.

Relia’s father waved his hand and made a portal that spanned the full width of the hallway. This let them see inside the bathroom without actually joining its occupants. 

Just as well; there wasn’t much space in the tiny room. Glim hovered in the single mirror above the sink, while Ashur leaned casually against the wall, hands in his pockets. Meanwhile, Irina stood beneath the frosted window opposite the door, looking far less comfortable. Her fingers tapped a silent rhythm against her thigh, and her eyes watched the door as if she expected an ambush.

The young Ashur locked the door and retrieved several devices from a pocket dimension. Relia recognized one as an old-fashioned sound suppressor, and the others probably served a similar purpose.

Finally, Ashur gestured toward the mirror. “Irina, meet Glimmer.” 

Glim gave a shy wave. 

Irina stared to the left of the mirror, never quite meeting Glim's gaze. Her face remained blank as she fidgeted with the top button of her blouse. “Is this a joke?”

“It’s no joke,” he replied. “She’s a mana spirit—”

“You made her?”

“Not me,” he said, “Elend Darklight.” 

Irina snorted at that, then rocked back on her heels. “Fine. What is a mana spirit?” The question came out with mechanical precision as if she were reciting it from a textbook.

Wow. Akari could be socially awkward sometimes, but Irina’s younger self dialed that up to eleven. She still spoke in that formal tone today, but she’d gotten far more comfortable in her own skin. Meanwhile, her younger self just seemed hopelessly confused, like no one had ever taught her how to have a conversation.

“Ask her yourself,” Ashur said. “She’s sentient being.” 

From there, Glim and Ashur offered a deeper explanation, including Glim’s history and the limits of her abilities. Glim and Ellen technically shared a brain at this point, but they’d learned to block each other out, keeping their own private memories. This was far easier on nights like this when Elend was distracted.

“Okay.” Irina glanced in Ashur’s general direction. “So the contract is Elend Darklight.”

Glim’s jaw dropped, and she looked as horrified as Relia felt. “You don’t have to say it like that!”

Irina shrugged, tapping another quick rhythm on her thigh. “You know what I am, don’t you?” 

“I don’t want it to be permanent,” Glim said with a hint of desperation. “Just a minute. That’s all.”

“Glimmer can wipe her own memories of this meeting,” Ashur added. “If she believes he’s dead, then she can escape her soul oath.”

Grim nodded along, but she still looked uncertain about the whole thing.

Irina rocked on her heels and looked toward Ashur. “What’s in this for you?”

He hesitated. “Glimmer and I made a deal. I’ll become her new host once she’s free from Elend.” 

“Then you’ll get her power,” Irina said. “Two aspects.”

“It’s not about that,” he said. “Glimmer’s a person, and people shouldn’t be trapped like this.”

Irina bobbed her head up and down. “And what’s in it for me?”

“I know about your clan’s initiation ritual,” he said. “I also know you’ll gain more prestige if you complete the contract without your family’s help.” 

“The payment matters even more,” she replied. “And you need Darklight to come back from the dead. That will cost you extra.” Irina seemed far more comfortable now that they’d begun the actual negotiations.

“Why?” Ashur asked in a calm voice. “The police will bring in their best detectives for a murder.  You really think they’ll care if someone falls unconscious for a few minutes?”

“He has to think he’s dead,” she retorted. “So does the mana spirit. That’s not the same as falling unconscious.”

“Still, it should save you more trouble in the long run.” 

Irina rocked her head from side to side, then she turned toward Glim. “No trick is perfect. There’s a small chance he might not wake up.”

Glim’s eyes widened at that, and she wrung her blue hands. “I . . . um—what are the chances of that?”

“Maybe one in ten.”

“But you’ll die for sure if we don’t do this,” Ashur told her. “It’s your life against Elend’s.”

“Sure, but . . . what if things change?”

“It’s been four years since your oath,” Ashur said with a quick shake of his head. “And Elend’s only gotten worse since then. He doesn’t realize how special you are.”

Glim straightened at that, and she seemed to blush despite her blue cheeks. “Guess we don’t have a choice, huh?”

“Then let’s talk payment,” Irina said.

“Twenty thousand espers,” Ashur replied.

Irina met his eyes for the first time, looking bored. The expression was so perfect that she must have practiced it in front of the mirror. 

Ashur stared right back, schooling his expression. “Thirty.”

“Pocket change?” she asked. “And you’re getting a second aspect?”

Ashur cursed under his breath. He clearly hadn’t planned to reveal that part of the plan, but Irina must have insisted on meeting Glim. “Fifty thousand,” he said. “That’s all my parents left me.”

She rocked on her heels and tapped her thigh. “Eighty.”

He narrowed his eyes “Did you hear what I just said?”

Irina studied the frosted glass window, oblivious to his glare. “So sell your car. Or take out a loan.”

Ashur kept staring with his furrowed brow, but she didn’t seem to notice. Finally, he and Glim shared a look, and he drew in a deep breath. “Sixty.” 

“One hundred,” she shot back.

A muscle pulsed in Ashur’s jaw. “Do you even know how these things work?” He trailed off, rubbing at his temple. “Never mind.” He seemed to mull things over again, considering his other options. Then he spread out his hands in defeat. “Fine. Eighty.” 

The memory froze in that moment, and Relia’s father closed the portal. 

“So what happened?” Her voice broke the sudden silence. “Your plan didn’t work, did it?”

“It took me several months to gather the money,” he replied. “Elend got caught before I could.”

“You mean the whole thing with the dream mana?” 

“It didn’t take long for his new friends to learn what he was doing. Several families tried to press charges when the truth came out, including the Durrans and the Windsongs. I’ll spare you the messy details, but Elend’s lawyers put up a strong defense. He’d influenced those young women with his aspect, but he hadn’t actually compelled them against their will.”

“What a mess,” Relia muttered. She didn’t know all the laws surrounding dream mana, but she knew some small amounts were considered fine. Especially for young Novices who couldn’t control it.

“But Elend still exceeded the legal limits,” her father went on. “And he had the knowledge and training to realize that. He had to serve six years of military service in exchange for a clean record.”

She already knew about Elend’s time in the military, so that part checked out.

“But that didn’t matter,” Ashur said. “Glimmer would have gone back to Elend once she realized he hadn’t died. We just didn’t realize that restriction at the time.”

The school faded in a burst of dream mana, and they appeared back in her father’s office in the Palace Prime. However, they were still dreaming, judging by the violet sky outside. 

“I know what you’re doing,” Relia said after a short pause. “You’re trying to turn me against the Darklights. But you’re still ten times worse.”

“This isn’t about me,” he replied. “Or the Darklights. This is about you. You think you’ve found your Master revelation, but you’re wrong. It’s going to fail.”

Relia shivered at the cold certainty in his voice. “You said I would know the words when I found them. This feels right to me.”

“It’s a false positive,” he said. “This happens all the time. It only feels right because you can’t compare it to your true revelation.” 

Relia remained silent as she walked out onto the stone balcony. Her mind still spun with the memories of Elend’s past, and now he dumped this on her?

“No one always does the right thing,” her father said. “There’s never been a perfect specimen of human morality, and there never will be You’re holding yourself to an impossible standard. It’s the same mistake your mother made.”

“It’s not about being perfect.” Relia leaned on the stone parapet. “It’s about doing my best.”

“So you say. But who decides what’s best?” He gestured vaguely at the horizon. “What about that memory? Was our choice right or wrong?”

“I don’t know.” She threw up her hands. “I listen to my conscience.”

“Your conscience almost led you to an early death. You were so certain that taking soulshine was the wrong choice, but it saved your life.”

“Yeah, but I thought soulshine caused my condition. You could have told me the truth sooner. Then I never would have avoided it.”

“Ah,” her father said. “And there’s the heart of the problem. You’re slow to take responsibility, but quick to cast blame. Your Master revelation is about you, and why you train. It’s not about whose fault this is.” 

“But it is your fault!” Her voice rose, and her heart thundered in her chest. “That’s why I need to do what’s right. To fix the mess you made.”

“Again,” Ashur said, “you repeat your mother’s mistakes.”

“What does that even mean?”

“The day we separated from you, she believed with all her heart that it was the right choice.”

Separated? Was that what they called it?

“But her feelings changed with time, and she couldn’t reconcile those changes with her former beliefs. She was too rigid to separate her feelings from the evidence.”

“Evidence?” Relia raised a skeptical eyebrow. He really could justify anything, couldn’t he?

He gave a faint nod. “The Angels came to us one night in our dreams. They told us we could defeat our enemy someday, and that you would play a part in that future. But that future would never come if we raised you ourselves. A life of comfort would have held you back.” 

Relia had expected excuses from her parents—that was one reason she’d never asked this question—but she hadn’t expected that. They seriously believed they’d made the right choice when they abandoned her?

Then again, her parents were both members of the Sons of Talek. She’d always assumed they’d joined that group for political reasons, like everyone else. Was he actually a true believer?

“They told me I had to become the prime minister of Espiria,” he continued. “And I couldn’t do that if the secret of my bloodline became public. I never meant for you to think we abandoned you. We tried to find you a good family, but my mother put a stop to that.”

“I don’t believe you,” Relia said. “We both know you work for your so-called enemy.” 

“I do work for him, after a fashion. We’ve been over this.”

Relia shook her head. “I know you met with Akari Zeller in a diner outside Last Haven. You’re the reason her sect was destroyed.” 

A flicker of genuine surprise crossed his face. They’d danced around this issue before, but he clearly hadn’t expected her to know this much.”

Relia let out a long breath, but it did nothing to calm her racing heart. “You can’t do that and then say it’s all an act.” She braced herself for more excuses, but her father remained silent.

“I never met with Akari Zeller,” he said.

“Yes you did. I saw the memory myself.”

His frown deepened. “When was this?”

“I don’t know . . . three or four years ago?”

“What day?”

She shrugged. “Ask Elend. He would probably know.”

“Elend?” he echoed. “But this was Akari Zeller’s memory?”

“Yeah, but he helped her get it back.” Relia winced as the words left her mouth, and she curled her fingers around the balcony’s stone railing. Was she betraying her friends right now? Her father already seemed to know so much about everything, and she struggled to keep track of the gaps in his knowledge. It didn’t help when they spent so much time together like this.

Angels above. She was so out of her depth here.

“What happened in this memory? Her father asked. “What did we talk about?”

Relia just closed her mouth and shook her head. 

“Fine. Did this ‘memory’ benefit the Darklights somehow?”

“Why would he lie?” Relia asked.

“To gain her loyalty, of course.”

That seemed unlikely. Akari might be powerful today, but she’d only been a Novice back then. A Novice with no aspect.

“The discovery of space mana changed the world,” her father said. “But that power didn’t belong to the space artists themselves. It belonged to the Mystics they served.” He stepped forward and joined her by the balcony railing. “Time mana was far less impressive. They could re-live certain moments, but that changed nothing on a global scale.” He pivoted his head and met Relia’s eyes. “But what if your friend unlocks the secret to time travel? Real time travel?”

“That’s scientifically impossible,” Relia said. “Even I know that.”

“Every technique starts out that way. They’re all scientifically impossible, until the moment they aren’t. Akari Zeller might wield someday powers we can’t imagine, and the Darklights control her.”

Relia ignored him. She would never turn on her real family, no matter what he said. No matter what visions he showed her. Yes, Elend had done some bad things, but there were two sides to every story.

“You don’t have to believe me,” her father said.” Your revelation is the heart of who you truly are. It’s not about who you were, or who you could have been. The words should always ring true, even if you’d never met me.”

Relia felt her shoulders sag. “How am I supposed to find something like that?”

“That’s what I’m trying to teach you. But your mind is like a closed fist right now—too hard and rigid to see the truth. I need you to open it."