The Measure of a (spess)man. A long read. Prepare yerself.

I have had a lot of time to think on this and to weigh the issues at hand. This post and poll is for people who play and enjoy, who are members of the community that is space station 13. I write this to you guys because I like to be honest, and I want to more or less always do my best to be forthright. In the past, as you may know, I expressed a keen interest in potentially developing my own space station 13 server. Well, not "mine" per se, as my ego would not allow such a thing. No, more "our" space station 13. A BPL 13. Here are some thoughts I want to share on that.

I was all gung-ho for the idea, initially. In those years the idea of creating something that was ours was appealing. A station all its own, a station for good spacemen to do good-space-things. A station that was unique in its approach, and fun to say the least. However, there are a few things that have deeply made me reconsider this:

1. Space Station 13 is in an interesting place. BYOND is an ancient engine and will not live forever. However, before those of you scream "the end is near", keep in mind it has outlived professional engines much younger than it. Further, I think it will always hold a niche place in the world of game engines. However, there are alternatives being developed currently. SS14, SS3D, Bluespace, and UnityStation (on steam) to name a few. There is a curse about ss13, something even Dean Hall figured out. Then again he always did walk away before things were complete, heh.

I think that it's worth mentioning that the future of space station 13 is likely going to branch out of one of these post BYOND engine upgrades to the game. That BYOND manages to run with this many people and this many inputs running this many systems is a miracle. The guy who runs BYOND is shocked it even compiles. But it does. But for how long?

2. Space Station 13 is slowly leaking into the mainstream. From Russ Money's Interview with the late TotalBiscuit, to his nightly streams, to Oney's attempt to admin-help-himself into spaceman history, to the Sseth-Tide and a new Australian gamer or some-such doing a review/play of the game . . . the game is becoming public. It is no longer what it was. It is changing. New blood is a good thing, but, capitalizing on this are a host of servers. Some good. Some circle-jerk servers. Some innovative, some ego-boosting prideful projects. All of them unproven.

3. There are still good servers in existence, counterbalancing older ones I feel are on their way out, dying as it were. Again, my humble opinion for a decade of game-play and 8 years of footage. It would be a crime, I think, to take from the good servers on a chance to become a merely okay one.

Space station 13 is a community. It always has been. Any one person trying to 'own' ss13 more or less has their moment in the sun, regardless of how big they are in the world of media, or force of personality, before they are eclipsed by the community. The community, for better or worse, is space station 13. And no, I do not mean reddit. Reddit is not the space station 13 community. Nor is any one forum. Nor is any one discord. Nor is any one station. Space station 13 belongs to every spaceman, or none.

The most any person can be of ss13 is a custodian. You keep it alive, strange as it is, for as long as you can. I've opted for the role of historian, taking a few key rounds, interviewing some key people, getting the truth of what this weird thing is and what it yet may be. In short, I've had a lot of thoughts on a "BPL ss13 server" . . . 

. . . .And I see some fundamental flaws with my ambitions.

1. Coding BYOND is awful. You can have an awesome idea, there's at least a dozen ss13 servers pitched a month, maybe a hundred a year. They will make a discord or forum, they will draw some sprites and come up with ideas. They may even make a wiki. When it comes to making the server, it dies, or they just butcher /tg/ code and call it good after a month. Coding BYOND is awful. Every coder I have tells me this. Every coder and maintainer I've spoken to, professional and amateur, have told me this. Every coder with SS13 ambitions will burn out unless they accept a painful process to say the least. 

2. The idea of BPL 13 lived, briefly, as a prototype. We had some interesting ideas, some thoughts, some developments. A brilliant engine prototype developed by our own Trugath, a few ported ideas, a custom map. However, a few interesting ideas are NOT a server. A server is more than sprites. It's more than gimmicks. It's a community. The issue with these prototypes is we never ran them as more than a prototype, and development would require the most precious of resource: Time

3. Time is not a resource I possess at this point. I've drawn way back on the amount of footage and the things I've done. I've had to reach out to editors and many other folks to assist me in what I do, and I am gracious for their efforts and support. I cannot, in good faith, say that I possess the time at current to helm even one more project. Being that I love space station 13, I would not in any estimation want to say that I would take money to half ass a project. If I want to make it my own, I want it to be real, solid, and add to the community. Again, I get many emails and messages, asking me to PLEASE play this or that, cover this or that, do this or that, and I have to apologize. I'm overworked to the point of severe, clinical exhaustion. I put in horrendous hours at work and until midway this year, I used to put in at least 30-40 hours a week making content. I can't do that, but I've also posted on that previously in detail. I warned people then I couldn't maintain it, and repeatedly. Again - Honesty is my policy here.

4. I want to avoid making an Ego-Server. I do not want to run a /tg/ clone and say "This one's got muh name on it" and more or less let it be another, boring, terrible server for the purpose of shitting on people. Servers orbiting a central persona or character, who is then allowed to bully/wreck/destroy others who get in the way of "Their" fun are cancerous to the community and I will not be part of that in any respect.

That being said, here is the briefest summation I can offer:

1. I intend to remove "BPL 13" as an ambition on the funding goals. I instead will use that money to fund existing (Good) servers to reward their being places for GOOD spacemen. In addition, I will gladly put a portion of this money toward BPL servers as we have interest. I may reapproach this as an idea when and if I have time, or when and if say . . . Unitystation, SS3D or similar becomes a real thing. At that point we'd be able to easily create something without coders killing themselves. Already some of my wonderful people have been assisting in these projects out of the love of being  a spessman. God bless their efforts. They will be needed.

2. I am intending to tell you all now this is what I want. I do not want to take money on false pretenses NOR move goalposts after taking the money. This is, as always has been, my policy. If you wish to remove your money on the basis of this, I certainly welcome it and offer my apologies. I have limited time and physical energy. I am not a superman. I apologize. The idea came out of me when I was working less. A lot less.

3. Further, please understand that I have a want to be a good custodian of this community and never to cause harm. I see great harm in labeling a server after one person's exploits. If you doubt the negative impact this has, go play on Fulpstation. 

I shall as always, allow you to decide.