Where we are and where we're going: A brief

I've discussed this a few times , as those of you know who read everything I write and say but this is for folks who don't know, or haven't seen the multiple updates to that end...

(In Typical Tex-List Format)

1. When COVID-19 Started and all of us (well, most of us) were told to sit inside and fear every sneeze and allergic reaction, none of us thought this would go on as far as It had. None of us, I presume, would think that we'd still be at home months and months later, that the economy would tank, and that the world would teeter on a balance of terror. Being somewhat weird, I decided to not turn the time I had on my hands into fear, but instead into fun. The Legion has, and I certainly have, taken all this extra time to make a shitload of content. What Initially was going to be a burst of content has now turned into months and months of daily content, which is pretty awesome. Unsustainable, but, pretty awesome. Looks like we'll have all of July now as near-daily content so Hooray for that!

2. This leads me to number 2. Know this - It is, as stated, unsustainable. I cannot sustain making daily content. I know I work hard. I know the legion works hard. But I know my limits, and I know I can't keep this up forever. It's amazing I did so in the past (I'm a bit of a manic, workaholic, insane sort of wreck). I, for those who haven't gathered am an Autistic, High Functioning Neurotic. I have made a life for myself by continuing to push myself, harness mad energies, and fail. And fail. And fail. I move from failure to failure with zero loss of enthusiasm, and yet I demonize my every misstep, mistake, lost opportunity. I'd rather make something than sleep, I'd rather create than sit idle. Even if that creation is a mess. And I point at my own failures and feel dismal pain at what they could have been - but weren't. But I've fallen into deep holes over this, over the years. I'm continually searching for a bigger, and better magnum opus. I'm continually searching for a better way, a smarter way. A stronger me requires that I kill yesterday's me, last week's me, last years me. Its that continual boxing match. And I must go on. That being said, after July you won't see 30 things a month. That old me is gone. I'm going to step back to something saner, something better with my manic energy. Spending 12-14 hours a day at the Computer as-is for work is not the healthiest thing in the world, doing it for another 6 for my manic side is not great either, even if expressive. I've said this a few times before, in fact, many times before, I intend to draw down to a more sane amount of content and a much saner balance of time in my life. Some people are going to get mad over that. Some people are going to be disappointed, or bitter, or unsub or stop watching. Some people will pull their patreon and say "What gives".

That's fine. Its why I encourage it.

Because ultimately I believe everyone must make their own best decision for their own life. Now, does that mean I'm stopping youtube? No. It just means I'm going to do it in a more sane manner. Like, a thing or two a week. At most.

Maybe stream when I feel like it.

I Probably Will remind people again of this - but hell, Ultimately I believe in being accountable to folks who have given me so much. And I aint talking about money. I'm talking about a stronger currency - belief. People believing in me when I doubt everything about myself is hugely important. Otherwise, I would have faltered and stopped long ago.

Another casualty of our time.

Now, on to Number 3.

3. I am well aware of a disheartening trend on youtube at the current time. Out of 52k Subscribers, I am lucky if I can reach, on any given video, about 2-5k of them. I'm currently getting messages from folks who ask me "Wheres part 2 of Exodus to elementals" as they never saw it populate. Yes, Youtube is doing more algorithm fucky-wucky right now. Most folks are not getting notifications, or reminders. Now, that's not to say I possess such ego as thinking that every person subbed to my channel will watch every video I make. That, itself, is insanity (and unhealthy, I mean, come on, variety is the spice of life! - watch whatever pleases you and nothing but) but I know people who are actively searching their feed for me and getting zero. Absolute, positive, zero. So double check if you haven't. I had a few messages inquiring if I was still making videos.... when I've made daily content for months now.

Just shows, something fucky is afoot.

Number 4. The Bigger Projects

Here's all I'm working on longer-term project wise, for those who think I'm just making filler episodes while I waste time.

A) Still working on the big-giant dark heresy retelling story thing. It's on my to do board. Its pretty much a goddamn novel being written between the players who were there, Mr. Welch  (Yes, that Mr. Welch) who is the copy-editor, with many fun touches. It'll take as long as it takes, but as a writing exercise, it's taken for-ev-er. Just know this is part of the process.

B) Working on something special for the podcast. Namely, I'm stepping back into my DM shoes after nearly a decade of not DMing. At all. I have massive anxiety over this, but fuck it. A man's gotta get back on that horse even if it broke his neck last time. Long story short - I used to DM all the time, and one by one my groups fell apart from either drama, folks moving away, or life shitting on it (A key person actually died tragically). Eventually, I gave up after years and years and walked away from tabletop. I intend to honor those memories by getting back into it. We'll see how it goes. It'll be an adventure much like star-track on the podcast, which yes - we're going to put star track on the podcast.

C) Far Cry with a Cop will continue. They just take a while to make. if you think we're milking production times, I invite you to try to write out word-by-word dialogue with Kinetic Typography on a 30-35 minute video. Shit looks easy, but is miserably hard to pull off with comedic timing.

D) The Mackie Episode of Tex Talks Battletech. I routinely get messages about "Too bad you don't make these anymore" by folks who believe that if I dont make a video a day, or a week, I am burned out and have stopped working on them. I remind those people how many hours are in a month, and how long those videos take to make. I remind those people of what a project looks like, and how long they take to-do, but I realize in the end they don't care. They want more-now. They're the same folks who write authors hoping the next magnum opus is done in a month, or bug filmmakers hoping that a movie-a-year is a possibility as they're bored already.

Problem is (For them) I don't compromise. I'm not putting something out I'm unhappy with. I'm not going to just read a straight wiki, fail to do research, or slap something together for memes. I'm going to do it properly. I'm still doing research on the mackie. I don't think its going to be an overly long episode, as there's scant information. But I'm doing my best, and my homework to ensure its a good episode.

So, haters aside, I know you guys will like it.

Anyways - thats all for now

--TEX--