Down but not Out.

I remember being biologically-chemically actually depressed... and feeling people's emotions, like a friggin Psyker form 40k. There was a huge shouting crowd at my City Hall due to poor Covid-policies. I was working with a contractor and could feel the anger and pain like a wave on my back. It was nuts.

Walt_Man

I can't listen to the whole thing at the moment because I have work in the morning, but I just want to tell you how much of an inspiration you are. Can't make out a long comment for the same reason, so thank you. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I'll keep you in my prayers. I hope things are going better since you've made this, and if not, that they will turn around soon. You got this. You will get past this. You will become stronger and better for it.

Po.Ta.To

Helluva story. Stay strong and fight on!

David Fellner

Hi tex. To you and the American members of your team, Happy treason day you ungrateful colonial. Hope there was some good bbq and beers for you to enjoy :) Sorry for the last minute post.

Tex, It's ok, we've all been there. And yeah, it sounds like those people are just dicks. And when that happens to me, I tell myself that it's a display of their (failing) character, and not me. I need to tell you something. I've been thinking about it for awhile, on whether or not I should, and as it keeps popping back into my head...I will. And...it's thank you. To you and all your team. Battletech and other games were an escape for me when I was younger. An escape from a childhood that, well, wasn't enjoyable and I won't elaborate on that. But it was a time when RPG's were a barrier, a safe place, where all my problems were easily solved with a clever idea, a sword, a spell, or a PPC. Sitting at the table with my friends...I had value. I was a real boy. I didn't have that at home. Skip ahead several decades to when I was living in New Orleans during the pandemic: people were dying by the hundreds every day. I was fired from my job due to lack of work. People I knew were dead. And things were looking bleak. And then one day...there you were. A voice in my ear, breathing life into something I loved, dearly. Making it live again in my mind and subsequently making that time a bit more bearable. And, coupled with your outlook, words of wisdom, and advice, you brought hope. I just wanted you to know that you made a difference. I have my down days, we all do. But your refusal to lie down is an inspiration. And finally, yours is the latest sign I've received in the past few weeks pointing out that I should get back into art. And each and every one of you are right. Hell even just going to the store to look at art supplies makes me feel better. So I did. Got some sketchbooks. And I'm going to fill them. I'll send you something when I get a piece made that's ready. Thank you, Tex And thanks to your team Jason

Jay

Hi Tex, hope you're doing better, though, to be fair, by now I'm kinda expecting an 'ehhh' on that one.. ;) Still, chin up - I hope our encouragements here, small as they may be, help a little. Recently I've decided to catch up on reading some of the classics I should've read a long time ago an burnt through Starship Troopers and Neuromancer, with Snow Crash next in line. Now.. it might just be me, but I found Neuromancer's world and story fantastic, but somehow frustrating to read due its writing style. English isn't my first language, so my library of English books is maybe a little smaller than others', but is that weird, or is this just a peculiarity of Gibson? Also, any recommendations on what's next? I *have* read the first 2 Dune books and Do Android Dream of Electric Sheep, but that was 15+ years ago last time, so those are back on the list at least. I... may need to get another book case too, now that I think of it. Anyway, thanks, to not just you, but especially the team for everything you guys make. I'll try and remember thanking Mike again when I make it to a Courtesy Flush. Very much looking forward to The Hunchback. Take care.

Erdanya

Hey Tex I’ll add to the chorus of voices saying, “hang in there and feel better!” Coding was never my strong suit and I was up until 2am last night trying to get the Grampa Tex Xcom voice mod I had made to work. No dice. I’m gonna get some coffee, reassess & reattack because I’m too stubborn to give it up. Have a happy Independence Day, don’t use explosives too irresponsibly and I’ll catch you next week, sir.

MrToBeNamedLater

Currently on a road trip with some buddies from my first duty station to see old boats (CSS Jackson, USS North Carolina, New Jerseys, Intrepid) and museums. We started debating what other country had good museum ships that we one day might visit. England has the Belfast and Victory, Japan has Mikasa, and Sweden has a bunch of old wood hulls from viking longboats to the Vasa. We kind of ran out of knowledge there. Do you have any nations and/or ships from outside the US that you would throw in as good museum ship?

swiftdraw

Well said!

David Fellner

I love the animation there with the hunchback with knifehands. Makes a fun divergence from the usual depiction of mechs with closed fists. That said, best of luck, dude.

VVelox

Ah hell, here I was trying to cheer myself up to hear your week isn't much better than mine. But damn you definitely restarted my fire. We got this shit.

The Metalorian

Heya Tex. Just wanted to send along a few words of encouragement. Can't claim familiarity with your struggles with depression, but I know plenty about trauma. Survived bone cancer at 13 (former make-a-wish kid here), physical abuse survivor, and discovered that sometimes doing the right thing to protect ones' children means accepting some of the worst consequences - getting disowned. The latter part is relevant in that after having been upgraded to the literal first of my line through disinheritance, I've established my family's crest. The inscription reads, under the image of a willow tree, "we are not alone, we are not broken." And that's sentiment I share with anyone who struggles, gristle and all. Likewise, I sent you the poem I wrote along my healing journey, should it be of any solace. I didn't hear no fuckin bell, 'neither. Keep swinging.

Just listened to the most recent podcast and it was very interesting, as always. It was nice to hear an expert not give any attention to general fear-mongering and give a realistic overview of some nuclear theory. Best of wishes to you and the crew...*raises cup of coffee to toast

The Mailman

Thanks for the encouragement. May the 4th of July goes good for you! Keep up the great work (team included in that), please don't work yourself into a hospital bed. Glory to Zorg and his fire!

Pistol6699

The charger soundtrack is one of my favorites in my music Playlist. I can't wait to hear the hunchback music

Dopeskone

I'm sorry you're still sick Tex... please know how much you and your team are appreciated 🙏 🫂

Nerd_Power

I am currently working at *business redacted* and they use Just in Time Logistics for resupply purposes... my eyes threaten to roll into the back of my head every time we run out of stuff, which is pretty much every week. I am also attempting to change careers and having to jump through some hoops in order to get noticed. All that said, Remember, we're pulling for you. We're all in this together. Hope you and the team are doing well as can be.

Zetam

We're all pulling for ya Tex. Even if its long, its only a rough patch, and patches stop eventually. Also, I'm kind of a sword guy, and yes I have accidentally sworded myself. It really...cuts...at you when you make a stupid screwup like that.

Teyanis

Hang in there my dude. We're all here rooting for ya. Every time someone mentions Just In Time Logistics my eye starts to twitch. Dealing with maintenance and supply means having to rage against that shit on a near daily basis. On a related comment, fun fact: for me to advance in my field uncle sam tells me I need a masters. The preferred degree? A fucking MBA. Fuck I miss flying. And a question, because I wanna hear what an actual gunsmith has to say on the matter: What is the most ridiculous alteration to a firearm you've seen in a game or movie (weird shit like the bioshock revolver's expanded magazine or other cursed bullshit) that would actually plausibly function if one were to try and mimic it in meatspace? As always, thanks and respect to you and the team, and all the well wishes in the world. Keep swinging, Tex. You got this.

Iden DeSeer

Hey Tex, my podcast co-host is completely gay for revolvers. Would you be interested in appearing in an episode of Handgun Radio? If so, message me.

Erin Palette

Preach King, as usual your words are comforting and guiding. I recently lost my job as an electrician. I got very sick with a vicious sinus infection and got the boot because I tried to toughen up and show up to work and naturally got almost nothing done and needed to take a couple days off. Boss did not appreciate that. For the time being I’m grinding it out on minimum wage at a pizza joint. Brighter days lie ahead, for all of us. Sling applications left and right until they beg you to stop and eventually a fish will bite. Depression has a tendency to slam my head into a dirty toilet bowl and then proceed to spank my ass cheeks raw, but that’s no reason to quit. It tends to manifest itself in the form of seeking instant gratification and dreading the work it takes to achieve almost anything. Constant eating and cash slinging only serve to dig that hole even deeper. I haven’t sought professional help, and maybe it’s because I’m too proud or just plane stupid, either way I push on. Tomorrow is always a bit brighter if you remind yourself there will be a sunrise and know where to look. Thank you and your team again for all the work you do in making our days a little brighter. And I apologize as my posts tend to lack any real cohesion. Until next week. PS: What era of Battletech do Professor Tex and his lectures exist in?

Haligaz

Gund makes fantastic stuffed animals, your friend has an excellent pedigree.

Captain1nsaneo

Hi Tex. I hope you can take one more letter about the interview with Father Bill. When I drive to visit my Dad I like to listen to your podcast. It helps the miles to go faster and keep me alert so I'm not a hazard to myself and others. It's a trip I've made literally over a hundred times and it was never not boring. I'm also an Atheist and when I heard the interview guest was Father Bill, I hit pause for a few miles to prepare myself. When the interview started I still hit pause a few times in case things went in a particular direction. Except it never did. I relaxed and let myself enjoy the conversation. While I didn't agree with everything, I respected him. I was happy when I found out we were in the same state because there was a chance we may attend the same convention. We may not have enough in common to be friends, I'm sure he'd be welcome at any table I'm at.

Jason Youngberg

Thanks for the inspiration. No quit.

Steve Constant, 'Splash Mountain'

"I have not yet begun to fight" - John Paul Jones Don't sweat in the sandwich You've had more than your share of hardship, Tex. Hope some success comes your way soon. Edit: Dang it, someone already did the John Paul Jones quote. So have this one: "Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." Calvin Coolidge

Jay McIntyre

You are always right about creation being therapy and ever time I forget this you remind me here and it is uplifting gets me to work on something. Keep up the good work choom

All Ones

Corporate settings are bad for many reasons, I actually was able to coin a phrase for my biggest nitpick, " forced politeness is the lock on the chain of expected obedience."

Codius Dak

There are indeed many assholes out there. never forget: Developmentally, we all begin as assholes. Some of us never develop beyond that point.

Eztli Angelos

G’day Tex As another soul suffering depression and anxiety issues, I wanted to thank you for sharing your journey. So many people hide it and that can be more destructive, so you have my respect Also, I wanted you to know, I often use LEGO to occupy my mind and create when depression overtakes me and a recent creation I was working on has been influenced by the work the BPL has done, so know that the art you all have created is inspiring other artistic expression.

Lord Travis Lance the 3rd Matheson esq

Gund Snuffles? Aw yeah! I've got a collection of those bears myself! As a friend once called them (because I commissioned a piece of art featuring characters based on them) they are RIDICULOUSLY adorable! Got my first one back when I was a little kid as a Christmas gift. My dad called him "Gundy" because we didn't have the nametag. He's a chocolate brown one with a big white crescent on his belly. Still with me today, dog-chew scars, burns (from a poorly conceived rapid drying attempt by my brother) and "bald spots" and all. Didn't stop him from being a wonderful hug. Of course, now he's a bit of a museum piece, while other Snuffleses (named Sausage, Lug, Hamsteak, Snuffy, Belinda, Awesomesauce, Stew, Oreo, Butterscotch, Junior, Puddin' and Porkchop) serve cuddle duties when I'm low. I'm 40 years old this past May, and I still find enjoyment in teddy bears. They certainly help center me in the gloomier times, and sometimes serve as an imagination release for goofy ideas.

Levi Whitney

No Tex.. you stand on that soapbox. You stand and you rant. Because we goddamn love it. Thanks for these, they mean alot.

Gera5915

Also. In the last week, I've been able to play my first game of Battletech, using Alpha Strike rules. My force, the Wraiths of Twycross, a mercenary unit loyal to the Lyran Commonwealth, defeated their Clan Sea Fox opponents. I mention this because you and the rest of the Legion are the reason I'm able to play Battletech regularly. Because of the Legion's literal sweat and tears and (hopefully) metaphorical blood, I'm now a part of a close-knit wargaming community, and that community has made my life better.

David Axel Hansen

Hey Tex. I found and listened to my first episode of the BPL podcast this week, and I loved it. I'm an accountant by training if not by employment, and I found your discussion with Dr. Brin to be both entertaining and encouraging.

David Axel Hansen

Shit hiring practice are the worse. Hope you will get some sleep soon. And good luck on the job hunt.

Mathieu Martineau

The Big D Depression is an absolute bitch to be sure. Nepotism is definitely a super bitch. I know the whole "keep your head up" isn't gonna do much, especially when that feels like an insurmountable task. I will say that listening to your trials and tribulations gives us a shot in the arm. Like JPJ said, "I have not yet begun to fight.".

Kingwolf