Preg-Not part 16

“So what I’m trying to say is that survivor’s guilt is commonly found in patients with PTSD, especially soldiers that came home from war. It’s feeling guilty that you made it out of an awful situation, while people you look up to didn’t make it. I think I’ve heard enough to say you’re experiencing this, Raelynn. Your father was killed in cold blood, although he was there for you every step of the way. You wanted to be the one who got shot that day, not him. We will work on making you accept that these feelings are irrational.”

Raelynn nodded, hearing the words and understanding why the feelings were toxic. She wished that hearing the explanation would magically fix her, but it wasn’t that easy. She still had work to do.

She wrapped the conversation up with Dr. Mitchell, letting the kind woman get a look at her growing belly.

“Take it easy, okay? No stress.”

“I will. Thank you.”

She offered her goodbyes and left the office, passing a handsome guy on her way out. They blinked, taking each other in, before going their own way. Raelynn was uneffected by the encounter. Most of her organs were off the market– her brain, her heart, her uterus. They were all owned by a scowling Russian.

She took the train home and thought about work. The team had been working on an overhaul to appeal to the Chinese market. Raelynn had a few ideas of her own, but she knew they weren’t wanted.

“Tiffany?” she called out when she made it to the apartment.

“Seriously, Rae. Why do you still call out when you come home, as if the thief is going to reply?”

“No one is going to break in here. Your laundry smells bad enough to ward off even the roaches.”

Tiffany chuckled. “If a thief broke in, I can picture your round little self running out, clutching your heavy ass belly.”

“The boys and I aren’t wimps. We would beat that bastard. No one’s stealing our ice cream.”

“Right, right. Come here and help me with this.”

Raelynn entered her bedroom and paused. Tiffany was on her knees, tightening the screw on what looked like a crib.

“Hold it up here and… oh, come on. Don’t start with the waterworks.”

Raelynn bawled. The therapy along with Tiffany’s sweetness had her hormones melting.

Tiffany dropped her screwdriver and went to rub her back. “There, there. Jesus. You’re giving the Hudson River a run for its money.”

Raelynn clung to her until she was a hiccupping mess. They finished the crib, did laundry, and gossiped about work. Raelynn never admitted her distressing encounter with Maksim to avoid worrying her. Knowing Tiffany, she would scream down the building.

She went to bed early, not feeling too well. The night flew by, and in the morning, she felt bloated. She put on two scarves that day, a little paranoid that she was showing too much.

She was running late, so she threw some hellos as she rushed to her floor. She fought the urge to grab her belly to protect its precious contents from becoming scrambled eggs, knowing that she had too many eyes and cameras on her.

“Raelynn,” one of the guys on her team called out.

“H-hey,” she panted. “Good morning.”

“Could you move these boxes to the elevator and bring them to the lobby?”

She looked at the boxes uncertainly. They looked heavy. She wasn’t a lazy person, but as much as she wanted to help, she was in no condition to be lifting much. She was already carrying enough.

“I can’t,” she cringed. “Sorry.”

Derick’s face darkened. “Right. Sure, I just figured you’d benefit from the exercise.” His heated gaze scanned her, burning her with his cruelty.

Raelynn was shocked into silence. Only Amoura had dared to make inappropriate comments, but the poison seemed to be spreading.

She didn’t know if she should report them to human resources. She didn’t want to attract attention, but she didn’t want them to go about their day, crushing people under their haughty noses.

She watched as Derick chased down an intern and directed him to the pile of boxes.

Feeling frustrated, she went to her computer and lost herself in work. It was after lunch that she realized Derick the Dick forgot one box by her desk.

She tracked down Shanna.

“Have you seen Derick?”

Shanna raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t hear?”

“Uh, no. I had lunch at my desk today.”

“Well, sweetheart, Derick got shipped with no return address.”

“Huh?”

“He was last seen packing his bags with a few tears in his eyes. We think he got the boot.”

Raelynn was shocked speechless. Karma must have been watching over her.

“You seriously didn’t hear? It’s been the hottest gossip all day.”

Raelynn leaned on her desk. “Do you know what he was fired for?”

“I have no idea. But in other news, I think I have a secret admirer.”

Raelynn chuckled. “Let’s hope it wasn’t Derick, because your Romeo is now broke-o.”

Shanna smiled. “No. Someone left me a plate of sandwiches on my desk yesterday. It was so random.”

“Sandwiches? Not roses or chocolate?”

“Yep. Weird, right?”

“Tell me you didn’t eat them. Sorry to break it to you, but the mayo was probably not mayo.”

It took Shanna a second to connect the dots. “Gross! Shoo, go back to work.”

Raelynn sent her a wink before returning to her desk. It was hours later when she received an email that read:

Meet me in room 2-322 in fifteen minutes. Viktor.

Her stomach knotted as her mind went haywire with predictions. Did he find out that she photoshopped the sonogram to hide one of the twins?

“Shit.”

She ran her hands through her hair. Since she was unable to concentrate on work, she packed her things and went downstairs. Room 2-322 was a wide storage room. She was glad it was isolated, because she had no interest in being spotted with Viktor and sparking office gossip.

“Close the door,” a gruff, accented voice ordered.

She shut it, but didn’t step away from it. 

Viktor was sitting atop a desk, legs spread and hands gripping the edge of the desk. He looked annoyed. If she hadn’t gotten used to seeing Maksim with the same sizzling tenseness, she would’ve run out of the room.

Did he find out about the photoshop, or was that just his regular expression?

“Um… hey. First of all, thank you for looking out for me. You didn’t have to fire Derick, though. I could have handled him.”

His eyes narrowed. Instead of addressing her comment, he asked, “When are you telling Maksim the secret?”

“I’m trying to. It’s not that easy.”

“Yes, it is. Suck his dick distract him, and when his balls are drained and the ornery bastard is finally tamed, you talk to him.”

She couldn’t do that, because Maksim never went half-way. Foreplay had to end up with her knees carpet burned, her face feeling like it would tear from her screams, her womb splattered with white. She couldn’t lose any clothing around him, because then he would see the bump.

“I just need more time.”

“You’ve had time. He’s trying to get rid of you.”

“What?”

“He’s trying to fire you. I can only protect you for so long, and I’m quickly losing interest in playing the good guy.”

She bit her lip and fidgeted.

“Come here,” he extended a hand.

“Excuse me?”

“I want to touch it.”

“Uh…” she couldn’t let him. Her stomach was way too big to be carrying one child, and he would notice.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

His eyes narrowed, so she quickly added, “It has never felt had a male’s touch. I want Maksim to be the first.”

Viktor pushed himself off the desk. Just as she thought he would take what he wanted, he grasped her jaw.

“You know you and the baby belong to him. Good.”

She pried her face away. “I don’t belong to him.”

“Americans,” he chuckled and shook his head. “So stupid, the lot of you.” He reached for the doorknob, and she moved aside. “By the way, I expect monthly sonograms. Don’t send them through your work computer, because Maksim has been watching you.”

He closed the door before she could ask any more questions.