Jasmin part 14

Next update: The Captain (Killian POV)

JASMIN

I don’t look at his naked body as he leads me through the wilderness. I feel too much shame. The tears in my eyes feel cold, and my only source of warmth– the man beside me, doesn’t want anything to do with me.

How am I going to see him again? I know he’s hurt and needs space to think and rebuild his home, but I’m afraid we will never recover from this. I’m an idiot for lying.

Myra will probably become protective of me and not let me run after him. She’s a good friend and won’t understand that although Aldrek looks brutish, he is a good man.

We stayed in his yard for hours, watching the cabin burn down. He tossed buckets of water to stop the fire from spreading into the forest, but didn’t seem in a hurry to save his cabin. Even my wooden globe was destroyed, so I’ll have nothing to remember him by.

I feel terrible that he has lost it all.

“Aldrek…”

“Enough,” he says for the umpteenth time.

“I–” I shut my mouth, drop my bag, and wave my arms wildly when I run into what feels like a spider web.

Aldrek grabs my upper arm and tugs me away, and I collide into his chest. Slowly, I open my eyes and look up at him.

His brows are creased, and his breathing is heavy.

Desperate to stay in his embrace, I dig my fingertips into his shoulders. Can he see the sorrow in my eyes? I just want a fresh start– no pretenses, no lies. I won’t try to use him like others have in the past.

I’m not sure how I got so attached to him in mere days, but I know that what I feel is real and worth fighting for. I don’t care if I look like a fool right now. And although his ability to summon erratic flames shocked me, I don’t think he’s a monster.

He releases his hold on me and steps away. He picks up my dropped bag and returns it to me. Then he continues walking away from the cabin. It’s like he can’t wait to be rid of me. Clearly, there is no going back for us.

About an hour later, I see a difference in the landscape. Aldrek’s land is wild. The trees and grass bloom to their potential, but there’s a point where the land becomes tamed. The grass is lower, and the paths are paved clearly. That must be his neighbor’s land. We’ve arrived at Myra and Crux’s territory.

This is where we part ways.

“Stay here,” Aldrek’s cold voice orders. Then he spreads his wings and takes off into the skies.

I’m left alone, and just as I fear that he abandoned me, he returns. My shoulders relax, and I stare at him for the next few minutes as I try to think of what to say.

A goodbye is what he deserves. Acceptance on my part that I have hurt him and will let him repair his cabin and trust. But I can’t bring myself to say it. Can’t I be selfish just this once? Would that really make me an awful person?

Goosebumps raise in my arms when people appear. It’s Crux, Myra, and other men I don’t recognize. Aldrek grips my upper arm to lead me to them, but I fight his grip because I don’t want to be tossed away. Not again. Not like my mother did.

Seeing that violence is about to unfold, I run to Myra to explain things when Aldrek releases me.

Aldrek and Crux exchange angry words. Crux accuses Aldrek of hurting me, and before I can yell the truth, the two dragons are rolling in a fit of rage.

Aldrek takes and delivers blows in a manic state. He’s not angry with Crux, but at me, and is using the fight as an avenue to deal with his pain. I did this to him.

Both men are equal in skill, so for a long minute, they wrestle, until Myra and my cries separate them.

Aldrek doesn’t approach me. He takes his bloodied, scratched, dusty body off the ground and flies into the sky. That’s it. He leaves with a broken wing toward no home, because it’s gone.

I blurt apologies to Myra as she tries to calm me. The walk to Crux’s home is a blur. Myra is checking me for injuries, but the only place I hurt is in my chest. There is a gnawing ache there that is spreading to my head and belly. I don’t know how I’m going to sleep or eat.

Myra is patient with me. She offers me a room, and doesn’t demand any answers. Although I want to address a few things with her, I can’t gather the energy to pull my mind off Aldrek.

If mother saw me now, she would ridicule me for being so obsessed with a man. She always believed in not getting too attached. The thing is, Aldrek is more than a man and dragon. He’s a friend.

The next ten days are hard. I can’t stop worrying about where he’s sleeping and if he went back to drinking. Myra is stressed, too, because she feels guilty about the ordeal.

I’m glad she wrote that letter to me, though, because this entire experience changed my life for the better.

On the eleventh day, I accept that he won’t come get me. I ran away from the Matching Program because I feared rejection, and I never went back to see my mother. I’m done running. This is how I claim the courage that for so long, I thought I didn’t have.

I write Myra a letter asking that she don’t come after me. Guilt eats at me for going behind her back, but after all of this settles, I’ll make things up to her.

I pack a few things, and set into the wild. Aldrek will hear what I have to say.

a/n: Short chapter because I didn't want to dwell on their separation, but in the next update, she’ll be back with him!

Did Jasmin do good by chasing after Aldrek? Or should she have waited longer (like a month) to let him heal? Would you chase the love of your life?

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