Ni'ev part 16

As I run, I loop my arms through my dress and secure it. I don’t look back, although I know Ni’ev isn’t chasing me. He would have caught me by now if he was at my heels.

I’m so humiliated that I don’t think I can face him again. This went horribly wrong.

Did that strange man get a good look at me? Did he feel repulsed by what he saw? Will he spread rumors to the other men in camp? I’ve only been intimate with Ni’ev, so no one has seen my lady-bits. I was hoping to keep things like that, but I messed up.

I will die if I come across either of them ever again. The girls are going to die of laughter or second-hand embarrassment when they find out how horribly this scheme rolled out.

This is what I get for playing games. I’m no seductress. I should have just kept my head low, acted normal, and not try to get my way. Ni’ev would have come to me eventually— without friends, and he would have carried out his promise.

I end up in the garden, where Ni’ev kissed me and decided it was time to become official. I sit on the same spot we had our date, hugging my legs close to my chest. I try to focus on the memories of that wonderful day, but I can’t help the tears that sting my eyes.

I’m so embarrassed. I feel like burying myself alive— lingerie and all.

After a while, the sun dips and my belly demands food. I have no option but to shuffle my feet back into the pyramid. I look at my old sandals, my head heavy with shame, and B-Line for the pantry.

If I come across Ni’ev, I swear that I’ll throw myself down the stairs.

I stop by the pantry, unable to greet the guards there.

“Rosa, why are you alone?” one asks.

My fingers twitch. I entwine them to regain a sliver of control. “I just stepped out really quickly to grab a snack. I’ll go to my room after this.”

“Ni’ev won’t like to hear that you’re walking around unprotected.”

I grimace. Wow. Does everyone in the Capital know of our relationship already? That spread fast. I wonder if my embarrassing incident has reached everyone as well.

I shrug. “Just don’t tell him. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you guys around.”

After grabbing a bag of dried fruits, I go to my room and eat while secretly hoping that I choke. To distract myself, I pick up a book that I’ve had for ages but never opened. I’ve been interested in learning another language. Lamara was smart enough to write translations of Korean to preserve the language. Eventually, I plan on creating my book for Spanish. We don’t want our languages to go extinct. Although Earth is gone, bits and pieces of our cultures will live on.

After only fifteen minutes of reading, I already have a dozen questions for Lamara. I write them down for reference.

“Rosa?” I hear Nebula call for me.

Oh, fuck! The girls are back. They must have found out that I went to my room alone, and concluded that my stupid seduction attempt backfired.

Panicking, I drop my book and lay on my bed. I close my eyes, pretending to be asleep.

“Are you ho—” Nebula stops talking when she finds me.

I don’t move, but I’m afraid she can hear my heartbeat.

When I hear retreating footsteps, I allow myself to breathe. That was close. I’m going to have to make up more excuses if I want to avoid the girls. I won’t ever be ready to confess my failure.

I reach for my book and nearly fall off the bed when another person calls my name.

“Rosa?”

It’s Ni’ev. He’s coming for me.

I jolt so quickly that my wooden bed creaks loudly. There is no escaping this. He definitely heard me, and I would only look like a bigger fool if I pretended to be asleep.

Maybe faking death is the best alternative.

The door opens, and he ducks inside. The sunlight highlights his frame, making him look like a god among men. His hair is wild, and although his legs are covered with trousers, I know his excellent form is held up by thick thighs. He’s magnificent. Right now, he’s making me feel like an ugly slug. I reach for my blanket, wanting to cover myself. Although my chest is covered by my dress, I feel like I’m still showing off my skimpy, cringy bralette.

“Are you alright?”

He’s relaxed. There’s no anger on his face, even though I created such an uncomfortable situation for him. Of course he’s not angry. This is Ni’ev, my gentle, kind giant. He understands and accepts me, even my quirky and awkwardness.

“I’m okay.” I shrug. “Just embarrassed about… er, you know.”

He walks in. With every step he takes, I sink deeper into the bed.

“I need to talk to you about that. It was not… an ideal situation.”

I cover my face with my hands. Fuck. I can’t believe this is happening.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry about that. I thought you were going to be alone, and I totally fucked up. The girls and I were just messing around and thought it was going to be a great idea to seduce you. I was an idiot.”

He sits beside me and tosses an arm around shoulders, tucking me safely into his side. To my surprise, he chuckles. I was expecting any reaction but that one.

“You are endearing.” His hand falls from my shoulders to rub my back. "You do not need to wear less clothing to make me aroused. You could wear a sack over your head, and my trousers will still tighten once I enter the room you’re in. Please do not wear that in public again.”

Then why is he sexually frustrating himself if I have this effect on it? I don’t get it, but whatever, I won’t push the matter. The best I can hope for is to forget this failure of a day.

“Okay. I wanted to ask what happened to the guy you were with? The one that saw me?”

Ni’ev’s smile thins out. His voice is accented with irritation when he replies, “He is currently packing his things.”

“Oh, no!” I gasp. “He’s leaving?”

“Of course he is,” Ni’ev grunts.

I should have known that this incident wouldn’t blow over without any repercussions. Ni’ev got jealous that another man got a look at what’s his, and he’s putting his foot down. Although I hate that the stranger saw me in such an indecent state, I don’t want to see him homeless over it. On top of it all, The Capital becomes less secure whenever it loses a loyal soldier. I could have lived the rest of my life avoiding him, but I guess that’s not enough for Ni’ev.

Another question crosses my mind. “Did you… did you hurt him?”

Ni’ev doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Yes.”

I cover my mouth with both hands, but a “What?” makes its way out.

Ni’ev looks vexed. “I took two swings to him and put him out. He should be awake now and packing. The insolent…”

I stand from the bed abruptly, disconnecting from his touch. “You should go.”

“What?”

“I need space. You need to go.”

Anger swirls within me. Ni’ev has made me feel many things, but never this sense of injustice. If he wanted to hit someone, then it should have been me for my stupid scheme, not an innocent bystander.

“I need to—”

When he reaches for me, I jump away. “Now, Nie’v! Please go.”

He looks astonished, like my reaction was unexpected. What, was I supposed to praise him for his violence?

Without another word, he leaves. I collapse on the bed and pull a blanket over my chest.

Today went from bad to worse. Was Ni’ev justified in beating a guy whose only crime was being at the wrong place, wrong time?

I pull my hair. I’m a moron.