On Dating and Marriage in China

Hey Laowinners!

I've addressed multiple times that the younger generation has a multitude of differences when compared with the 40+ generation in China. The way society will run in the future without the lost generation in power will be very interesting, indeed. You see youngsters holding doors, interested in life beyond China, and taking up creative hobbies and talents that their parents generation would deem a waste of time.

However, one thing that has remained a constant is the way dating works. Although kids are much more apt to date around and be less monogamous, the method of getting a girls attention or proposing is still much of the same.  

This can be seen in the viral video above, where a young Chinese man proposes to a foreign woman is rejected, despite his efforts to offer her a Lamborghini, and riches beyond her wildest imaginations. When she rejects him, he proceeds to throw a hissy fit because not only is he accustomed to getting everything he wants, the Chinese male perspective of earning a woman is still very much a thing. The western idea of the western woman choosing someone of her own will is probably very frustrating to him.

Casually getting to know someone, and gradually falling in love is a very western ideal. The Chinese way is to put on the most insanely over the top display, with gifts, candles, phones, cars, or whatever the man can afford, to show he has truly earned her. 

When my university students would get rejected, in their mind, it was that they didn't buy enough things, or show that they had enough money. This ties into the fact that many Chinese still believe that marriage is in order after a serious relationship. Even with more forward thinking people in China, this expression of love is still very popular.

When many boys in China (not all), rich or poor, are coddled and told they are the most important thing in the world, it creates a mindset that everything is theirs for the taking, and even if it must be earned, material possessions will help them overcome any barrier. Unfortunately, this idea is perpetuated in much of Asian culture, so this display of love phenomenon will probably continue for a much longer time.

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