Behind the Scenes: Remembering "Return to Grace"

I recently made a TikTok about remembering Return to Grace. It was a little game I picked up on Xbox Game Pass on a whim, and it left a lasting impression on me. I wanted to dive deeper into why this game is so memorable.

From the moment I started playing, the captivating setting and story drew me in. You play as a space archaeologist who goes to uncover what happened to a long-lost AI god named Grace. You start by crash-landing on this icy planet with your own fully voiced AI companion. I loved how the companion genuinely seemed interested in and concerned about your well-being. From there, the adventure begins.

I felt so connected to the story and the characters within it. I think it’s because I have been suffering from a profound sense of loneliness lately. It is difficult having such a public persona. Beyond that, being neurodivergent and also a therapist adds to the layers of difficulty I experience in having genuine connections with people. On top of that, I feel weird sharing my feelings with others because of the position I hold. I know the solution is to reach out to others, but often that “being a therapist” gets in the way of that. So, while I want to reach out to people, I want to reach out to them as a completely different person, which is really hard.

But video games allow me to be a different person for just a little bit. I am not Derrick with all of the responsibilities that come with that; I am whoever the game says I am. In this instance, I am Adie. You can feel her excitement throughout every step of the adventure. You really do feel like you are discovering Grace with her. There were a variety of puzzles to solve, and they were challenging, but solving them was also deeply rewarding and impactful.

The best part to me, though, was interacting with the different parts of the AI. In therapy, there is a therapeutic theory called Internal Family Systems. It basically suggests that we are all made up of multiple parts, and these parts present themselves depending on the situations we find ourselves in. There are several parts: managers, fighters, exiles, child parts—it’s nearly unlimited. It is a fascinating way to look at human behavior and really helps get rid of some of the restrictions involved.

A practical example might be helpful. I have a manager that usually takes the role of therapist. It often comes up in situations where I feel uncomfortable or like I am not smart enough. You can visually see the change in my demeanor; even the words I use become different. It is a part of me that helps me feel safe, as opposed to the firefighter… which is usually some form of dissociation or separation from self. Like what’s happening right now as I write. The therapist part of me came up and said, “Perhaps you should make a video about parts therapy and how video games bring out different parts of you.” While that is a wonderful idea, it doesn’t really have much to do with what I am talking about now.

It is easy to get carried away by the parts of ourselves. And in Return to Grace, I definitely got carried away by the parts of Grace: Empathy, Control, Logic, and a few other surprises I won’t spoil for you. Each part had its own unique perspective and voice, which made interacting with them feel like peeling back layers of Grace's personality, much like how we interact with different parts of ourselves in various situations.

One particularly memorable moment was when I realized that the different AI parts were not just mechanical entities but felt like real personalities with their own fears, desires, and motivations. This depth added a layer of emotional connection that I rarely find in games. It made me reflect on my own parts and how they interact with each other, especially in challenging times.

Additional Content

Playthrough Video: I've also included a playthrough of Return to Grace for you to watch. I hope you enjoy this incredible journey as much as I did. Watching it might give you a better sense of what makes this game so special and why it resonated with me on such a deep level.

Extended Thoughts on Parts Therapy: On second thought, I will go into a little bit more about parts therapy with you. You all don’t realize how much your support means, and I think this is one way that I can give back. Sometimes we do things and behave in ways that are not in line with who we believe ourselves to be. We usually believe that we are just one person at all times—the idea of the “Self” with all of its character traits, abilities, and preferences. Many psychological theories of the mind, especially those seen in individual therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, assume that we, the core of our essence, are simply one thing, indivisible, with responsibility and accountability for all. But Internal Family Systems challenges this notion by asking, what if, instead of being one simple construct, we are, in fact, a multitude of personalities? Our emotions are like fish in a pond while we are the pond itself.

Understanding this can be incredibly freeing. It allows us to acknowledge and accept all parts of ourselves, even those we might not be proud of. It’s a way to extend self-compassion and understanding inward, which is something I believe is crucial for everyone, especially those of us who feel different or out of place in the world.