Recent Observations On Documenting Art Stuff

Hello there

Here I am with my Friday post, which I am writing straight after doing my article for Forty20 magazine, so there’s a chance my writing might seem slightly different as I’m still very much in that mode.

Or it might (hopefully) just be the same as always.  In fairness, I think it’s more likely that my writing in the magazine over the last few seasons has become more like how I write on here. It’s a miracle I’ve never started one of my articles with “Hello there”…

Anyways, today I was going to be allowing Rocky Robot to do his Ask Rocky responses, however I think we have been really hammering the videos of late, so I’ve bumped it to next week.  I mean, I like the videos being on here, but I also like trying to mix up the media.  In fact, the videos are what I want to talk to you about today.  It’s a post that might sound whiney on the surface, but I should like to stress that it’s not complaining, merely observations I’ve made about myself lately. Just reflection, that’s all.

So, when I was on the call to Jon the other week in our writing meeting (I’ve mentioned that loads I realise, so many talking points from that it seems), I was telling him about some of the issues I have filming stuff.  I think I might have been moaning about my camera being broken/temperamental (although I did since do a firmware update and it did record a full trial attempt after that, but still don’t trust it yet).  The general gist of my moaning was when there’s stuff I need to fully concentrate on, that is the subject of the filming, I also have to factor in setting up cameras and getting shots to make it interesting for the patreon posts.  I was basically saying how distracting I find having to cover so many bases, especially when it’s something that really needs my full attention.  Jon said I need some more security cameras all round my house, so that I’m always being filmed and I can just edit from that.  Which was a joke, but goodness me it would help.

I’m obviously not going to actually rig up my house like a solo Big Brother, not least because it might film a mouse or something, but the issue is there.  I’ve been doing some of the tombstone build tonight, and it caused a mega issue for me.  I’ll tell you about that in a bit.  There’s similar issues when I’m drawing though. Many is the time that Kim has called when I've been drawing all night and asked me if I'd found it relaxing and I’ve just grumbled about taking the progress pictures.  The experience of me sitting in the art room drawing, versus me sitting in the art room drawing and documenting with a phone in my hand is very different.

The thing is though, I love having the document/film/pics of the creative process, but it changes how I “do” the project.  Not in vanity or anything, it’s not about me being in it and I’m unconcerned with how I look (obviously), but the actual logistics of the experience.  My GoPro now has marks on it (either expanding foam, caulk or glue - can't tell), because the first thing I do when I’ve finished a bit is to turn the camera off.  It’s not a case of doing it and then assessing it, or checking it, I am thinking about the camera.  It’s actually why I’ve started to build another tombstone concurrently, which I’m not filming the progress of.  I’ll show it you when it’s done of course, but I just want one part of it where my full attention is on the creative part of it. It’s admittedly not as big or structurally complicated as the one you’ve been watching, but it's a different experience.

As I mentioned earlier, tonight (and – full disclosure – I am writing this on Tuesday because I want to get all my posts done as I’d forgotten I have a rubbish dentist thing on thurs and also the new season starts and I’d quite like a bit of time just watching the rugby over the weekend), I messed up a bit of the tombstone whilst trying to do a bit of hot wire cutting.  I went all over the place with it, and realised with clarity that my head wasn't focussed on the job in hand at all. I actually took a breath, because I was about to get all cross and say it was because I was in an unnatural angle for doing it so I could film it properly.  As if I’d been made to do that.

Now, there is the caveat that it may also be because I am very much learning on the job.  That's why I enjoy those videos so much, because it's not me being all slick and brilliant, it's me making mistakes and problem solving, and we all go on that roller-coaster together.  If I find out I've not got the right tools or materials, then we all stop the building and go to B&Q together (that's a spoiler for a future one). So the other, very real, possibility is that this is down to me not really knowing what I'm doing in the video well enough.  I do enjoy the floundering amateur aspect to my videos though. The learning aspect of it might be what throws it into a huffy experience sometimes.  You should see me when I'm drawing intricate stuff and get a text...

On a different call, this time to Simon when we were going through the Blu-Ray finances and requirements, I mentioned the disparity between the practical building and the recording it for posterity.  I said that I enjoy it the most when I’ve finished editing the video and can just sit back and watch it.  It’s almost as though I can’t properly remember the actual building itself.  Almost as though I wasn't even there. Which is a slightly concerning trait, as I’m using power tools and blow torches and the like. Things you need to concentrate on.  When I go to B&Q in that future video, it was only when I got home that I realised I could remember moving the camera on the dashboard, and turning it on and off, and getting shots, but couldn’t really remember the drive itself.  Simon said that the camera is a barrier to experience, so it makes you an observer rather than a participant.  He compared it to war photography, which might have been a veiled critique of my artistic achievements, but it made sense.  I was maintaining that I thought a lot of it was to do with me being relatively novice at vlog-style recording, and the more I do it, the less stressful I’ll find it, but he wasn’t convinced.  He seemed to think that was just always the way with that sort of stuff.

I hope that’s not the case.  I still feel quite confident that I’ll get more natural with doing it.  I try and improve and vary the videos I make for here all the time, just experimenting with different editing, pacing, shots, or adding the music and messing around with it (basically, I want to make anything but the rubbish effort of  just sitting and talking to one camera down the barrel), but the bit I don’t feel close to improving yet is the actual process of making it.  Essentially, I’m happy with my options in post-production, but I want to make the shoot days easier. Actually, that’s wrong, not “easier”, just “more enjoyable”. I really don’t know how these online vloggers get by in life without seeming to be stressed. I find it a weird, constant, low-level feel of being highly strung.  But, as I say, my wish to record these processes for both here and myself, does override me just not bothering doing it. 

Some of it may well be my own headspace, and getting that right.  We know I have an aversion to rushing on arty projects, but that can sometimes turn into straightforward lethargy, which in turn becomes frustrating and moody-making. I remember ages ago, when I was editing the East Drive revisit, I noticed myself between shots, unguarded and  being really stroppy and grumpy.  I wasn’t shouting or anything, but I was detached, impatient and sighing for sure.  Wouldn’t imagine it’s much fun to be around, and whenever I’m filming alone (which is most of the time), that’s the company I have for it.

I really don’t want this to come across as “Hope you like the videos, it makes me miserable to produce them”, because that is way far from the truth.  But I think looking at your working environment, and isolating the things that aren’t quite sitting right with you, is a handy thing to do.  Once again, the whole ethos of Patreon is to enable me to do creative things on my own terms, so it’s a case of me just working it all out for the most agreeable process.  I must again emphasise quite how much I like those videos when they are done, and would hope they are fun (or at least occasionally interesting to watch) on your side.  And I’m not totally ruling out just filling my house with cameras and live streaming it as I get on with my creativity.

Please, please, do text me though if there’s a time that it’s blatantly clear that I’ve forgotten they’re there. You know what I mean.  There's already been loads of occasions when the camera outside has caught me doing a wee in the garden.

In conclusion, it's gonna be another big year for Saints this Super League season, so they are again my Forty20 tip for champions the fourth year running (come on, we all knew there would be a callback at some point). 

Hope you’ve a brilliant weekend getting closer by the moment, and that all is safe and well and happy there.

Sending lots of love to you

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