Much Quicker Than Expected Rocky Robot Pitch Update

(Header image - sculpts of Rocky and Chip stood side by side)

Hello there

First off, just to explain - I am going to start adding text descriptions of images on Patreon beneath the images.  These will be in italics, and are because I have discovered that I have some visually impaired Patrons who use text-to-speech software. So this will be helpful for them, and it's hardly going to be intrusive for those of us who aren't visually impaired.  It might have been confusing if I hadn't said owt though. Feel free to nudge me when I invariably forget.  I'm not sure how I will do it for art portrait posts.  Just a load of italics saying "even more dots"...

Right, so, as is my continued pledge to you, you’re first to get any news when it comes in.

I’ll be honest with you, I really wasn’t expecting to be giving you a pitch update this quick, given that they were only received by the production companies on Wednesday, but here we are.

Little bit of repetitive backstory/refresher info first, that the pitches – written mostly in character by the puppets in the show – were agonised over.  I might even have said this to you when I showed you the pitch the other day, that’s how quick I’m having to repeat myself, but I am pretty sure that nobody here is reading every word of my patreon. Fools that you are.

It’s not the received wisdom to pitch to companies in this way.  Generally speaking, everything needs doing properly, no matter how daft the show itself is.  I would personally always be inclined to make a pitch as silly as possible though, harking back to the story of how The Young Ones was pitched originally, and how Les Dawson used to compose his pitch letters.  The Young Ones was sent as a creased up, coffee ringed tip of a document (complete with crossings out etc), and Dawson would invent fanciful blurbs about how he had recently  been “touring the Outer Hebrides with Martha Haggerty’s tromboning dwarves”.  I really like stuff like that, but it was a million years ago in the business of show.

Back when you were allowed to actually have fun.

So not only would that now not be the done thing, but it would carry the risk of things literally not being looked at.  I’ve actually started writing a Castle Diablo story which covers the trend in the entertainment world of the gateholders being rather bolshy and superior, to the detriment of the talent, and it’s proving to be rather cathartic.  It’s based on something I actually saw happen on social media, with a behind-the-scenes person being brutal about something that had been sent through the post to them. Undermining it, along with pictures.  Something somebody worked on but didn’t get quite right, because they didn’t know the proper procedure with these things. The truth is, despite their inherent obligation to discover and nurture, there are plenty of companies who would toss our pitch pack straight in the bin, or send it back by return post.

Rather cleverly, and completely ‘unprofessionally’, we didn’t enclose a return address, so they can’t do that, but they do have phone numbers so could maybe give us a call and be cross…which was always the risk, and something I’ve been ready for.  You know what these telly people are like…I’ll come back to that…

Today (Weds when I’m writing this) I’ve been sat at my desk really struggling to get going.  Notwithstanding that I am under the doctor (not like that) and on stupidly strong and nauseating medication that I’m not reacting well to, I’ve just felt generally on edge.  I’m sure this was, in part, due to knowing that those pitches have arrived at their respective destinations today, and maybe subconsciously squaring my shoulders for rejection.

We have heard back from two companies already.  The first one emailed Rocky, which was fun, but it was to say that their submissions portal was closed presently, unless things were being sent through agents.  They said if we had representation, they could look over it.

Now, the reason for this is to sift out who is ‘proper’ and who is just having a go.  So if somebody with no experience decides to write the greatest sitcom of all time in their lunchbreak at Wetherspoons, this isn’t clogging up the in-tray of very important production companies who are in the middle of commissioning a fourth TV project this week for < insert name of flavour of the month here >.

I mean, I kind of get it, but I was once writing in my lunchbreak at Wetherspoons.  I wasn’t writing anything good enough, but I was trying to start my journey.  I just think it’s a bit unkind and…well…lazy.

Why any indie production company would narrow the field so they only ever dealt with agents is baffling. Agents are an absolute nightmare for production companies to deal with.  Surely if there was something good through the door, which didn’t have a meddling agent attached, that should be a plus point? It’s not that we don’t have the option for attaching an agent by the way, we do.  There are agents available to us who will work on a one-off freelance thing.  I’ve said it before, I can have an agent if I want.  I just don’t want. I certainly want The Rocky Robot Show to be fuss-free and a broth that has limited cooks around it.

Anyway…Rocky himself replied to the email.  He was pretty straight-talking about it, but it made Jon and I giggle.  Here’s the last lines of the email…

(Screengrab image of email text: Or alternatively – great idea so hear me out – I could become an agent as well.  Oh that would actually be brilliant.  I currently represent Chip (little blue puppet thing – really rubbish) and a big green puppet that I can’t remember the name of.  Apparently Chip “won’t do adverts” just for (text goes uppercase) THE RECORD OH I’VE PUT THE BIG LETTERS ON AGAIN RIGHT I’LL SAY BYE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND RESPONSE. KIND REGADS. ROCKY ROBOT RIGHT HOW DO I TURN THIS OFF AGAIN)

I’m sure you can guess how the rest of it was.  He banged on about the game Portal for a while too.  We, erm, didn’t get a response to our response…

But remember, the mantra here presently is that if somebody ‘gets it’, then they are a good fit, if they don’t, then they’re not.

This evening my telephone rang from a number I didn’t recognise.  I don’t usually answer these as I get a load of sales calls and there’s only so many times you can swear at somebody in a day.  They’re normally in the daytime though, and this was around 7pm, so I picked up.

It was the head of one of the other companies we had sent the pitch to. Well, he said he was.  I suppose there is a slight chance it was a cleaner who had found it in the bin and thought they’d have a laugh.

Long and the short of it is, he said that his head of animation design had called him in to tell him he had to look at this pitch.  This might end up sounding a bit boastful here, but I am just telling you what was said.  It was all very nice to hear and I told him so.

He said it was the best pitch he’d seen in years, that it was tremendous fun and that we really set ourselves apart with it.  All the things we had been trying to do, and hoping wouldn’t ruin our chances.  He also made several jokes about Chip, and said he was pulling half a million out of the deal if we didn’t agree to his terms (the pitch was asking for a million quid, I don’t think this was actual negotiation).

You know when you’ve been worrying about something for ages, and all it takes is for one person to get it for you to feel some sense of vindication? I had a genuinely feeling of not caring what happens next, because the idea of the puppets pitching did actually get somebody’s attention in a very positive way.  He wants to set up a meeting as soon as possible.  I’m not giving details of who they are, I know, but they are a proper company with a proper pedigree.  It was a cracking result.

What did happen during the call though, was I was caught slightly unawares by something that really needs thinking about.  He said “So what is your goal?  What do you actually want?”, and I realised really suddenly that I had no idea.  I spoke about it being a co-production, and that I needed help with the animating, and the whole thing needed to be looked at properly and developed, but in terms of any actual specific parameters I had no clue.  I fended it off, and we had a long chat and got along well.  We laughed a lot about the temerity of the pitch, and I told him how it hadn’t been a decision taken lightly.  He said it was the right decision, and that the sense of fun and tone was very apparent. Then he said how handsome I was and couldn’t believe I didn’t actively work out. I mean, you’re getting the idea here…

In reality, all we have from this particular company is a formal invite to chat properly about it, with a view to them working on it with us.  Which is both nothing and everything.  It isn’t a broadcaster saying they are offering a three-year deal, it’s an independent company that we have made an early impression on, who’d like to chat more.  Obviously we are going to do that. That’s good.  It’s not in the bin (which has, admittedly, ruined an anecdote).

There we go, I shall perhaps be telling you shortly about nightmare reactions from the others, but I wanted to keep you in the loop as to where we are up to.  I’m rather bogged down with stuff like this and am fighting unbelievable fatigue (medication and poorliness I think), but am doing my best to battle through and keep everything ticking over on here.  Just a bit sloggy for me at the minute.

Hope your week is lovely and enjoyable thus far

Much love

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