Shush Or Shout?

Hello there

I mentioned I was gonna write this on Cabin Fever a couple of weeks ago, but – notwithstanding the topsy-turvy health life I currently have – I wanted to give myself a slight cooling off period first.  I very much doubt I've done any cooling off, but I at least made the gesture toward it.

After the weekend of the final screenings of The ParaPod AVBGH in Bishop Auckland and MAC Birmingham, I thought it might be worthwhile getting a few thoughts down.  Mostly because, these are the things that folk generally don’t see.  I started getting the hump about an hour after the Bishop Auckland screening was amended, and that glided through to Sunday evening.  I’m not sure I come out of some of this particularly well myself, but shall be acknowledging that as and when (as usual).

You may not even know anything about any of it.

The day before the Bishop Auckland screening, on Friday afternoon, I was in the centre of Leeds, having driven up half way from my house so I wasn’t doing a daft drive there and back in one day.  This was when, as I regaled on the Cabin Fever, I bought an Autoharp as a treat (in part, thinking I had a little wages treat from the screening to come, which is my own daft fault).  No sooner had I left the music shop, than my phone began to ring.  It was the promoter of the gig, Neil, who I have known for years and consider both a pal and a reliable promoter.  He is genuinely one of the good guys.  Even when he originally booked the screening I voiced reservations and urged him to think carefully about it.  I’ve no interest in seeing the good guys in the red. Plenty of promoters I'd have just agreed and it could be their problem. 

Anyhoo, he said that the screening had sold 14 tickets.  I laughed and said ‘told you so’, because who wants to miss an opportunity to do that?  I’d originally said to him that the film would be available VOD by that stage and that may affect it, but he was confident he could sell it to regulars of the venue as a Halloween special.  He conceded in the latest conversation that he may have been over-confident, and I thanked him for his confidence before chastising him for giving me false hope.  

He said that the venue had suggested that we drop the Q&A and halve the fee. “That way you don’t have to drive all the way up here”.  I said that was fine by me, but I was already half way there, so it wouldn’t have been a big deal for me to still fulfil the original deal. I also said I was very aware that I’d had to pull out of screenings with ill health earlier in the month, and was still a bit shamed from it, so didn’t want this to be an ongoing thing.  We chatted a bit more, and I eventually agreed to their amendment, but said – very clearly – “it needs to be clear that this isn’t me pulling out of it though…I don’t want blaming for this”.  Assurances were made, and I wondered how embarrassing it would be to go straight back into a shop you’d bought an Autoharp in to say you’ve changed your mind.  I decided to keep it and have no regrets because it’s one of the best times of my day.

Literally within the hour it was.  I started to get messages informing me that the venue had been in touch with ticket holders to say I had pulled out of the Q&A “due to unforeseen circumstances”.

So, besides the issue of this being an outright lie, and the issue that I had made a point of saying it needed to be clear I hadn’t pulled out, I also personally had the issue that now folk in my real life are worried about me because they think I’m ill again (and that was 48 hours off yet). There’s also the issue of me thinking “do they think I’m just going to go along with their lie???”.  Which, I think, may be key in this sort of behaviour. I’ll come back to that in a moment.

I messaged Neil again, who was livid, and he got back in touch with the venue to tell them to stop saying that.  How long does it take to contact 14 people though? I presume the damage was done by that stage.  They’re not all on my patreon, or twitter, or reading this now. I’m confident there’ll still be folk thinking I pulled out of that screening, because that’s what they were told by the venue.

The key issue I mentioned, is that this isn’t unusual behaviour.  People just don’t see it.  The reason people just don’t see it is because it has a built in safety net to prevent performers voicing it.  The majority of performers, certainly stand-ups, live in fear of having no work. Over the years, what this has enabled, is for unscrupulous venues, agents, promoters, staff, to comfortably treat them as the lowest of the low without fear of reprisal.  They know full well that the acts wont kick up a stink, because they know full well that the acts believe that they need them.  It’s hugely warped, because the actual truth is there is simply no show without an act.  I've never heard of a show being pulled because the artistic director is poorly. That’s been battered out of them though.

I, however, do not have this anvil around my neck, because I – as we know – have to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the house to do anything approaching a live performance these days.  In fact, this year, my body has now started shutting itself down when I try to.  So I don’t need to worry about doing my dirty washing in public, because they’ve nothing to take off me.  That’s why I was able to call our Live Nation after the live show earlier in the year, for charging us hundreds for ticket printing when there weren’t any tickets printed.  That was never amended, but without us going to court there was nowt to be done about it.  I could talk about it though.  Many would feel they couldn’t, because they want/have to work for Live Nation again.  I personally don’t/shan’t.  It does sound like they will be spending some time in court though, from the news reports I saw this week.  Maybe the money syphoned from us won't be staying in their pockets. 

The only thing I need to worry about is being sued, but I’m not sure you can get sued for telling the truth right?  I’ve certainly never signed any non-disclosure agreement or contract, or anything like that.  Matter of fact, one of my many skills is not signing contracts.  You’d be amazed at how few people notice you’ve not returned it. In the case of the live show, I was definitely not sent one either way. So as far as I’m concerned, I’m all good to discuss my grievances wherever I want to, as long as I don’t lie or intentionally misconstrue. I also don’t need to panic that maybe they won’t promote my next tour because…well, we know all that.

It’s always difficult when you get on very well with somebody though, and know the messes weren’t their doing.  This was the case with Neil at Bishop Auckland, and it was the case at MAC the following evening.  The situation there was slightly different though.

If you were at that screening, you will know that I wasn’t present to introduce the film.  That’s because I had walked out in a big strop.  Not something I am prone to doing, but I hit breaking point, over something relatively minor, got my bag and left. Obviously the minor thing was just the straw that broke the camel’s back, rather than the entire reason for me walking.

Basically, the sound tech had started setting up radio mics.  Here’s how the conversation played out;

“Are they radio mics?”

“Yeah”

“Urgh.  Do you have wired mics?”

“Yeah but they take a while to set up”

“Is it possible though?”

“Well… yeah.”

“Ok, can we have wired then please?”

“These are industry standard…”

“We’ve had so many problems with radio mi…”

“Well, It’s just going to take a while...”

“That’s fine.”

“*huff*”

“Can you guarantee me that If we use the radio mics there will be no issues with them?”

“There’s less chance of issues than there is with wired mics…”

“Do you know what, do what you want.”

EXIT IAN STAGE LEFT.  THEN AGAIN STAGE RIGHT WHEN HE’D GOT HIS BAG.

See?  I was in a bad mood anyway, but was dealing with a pretty minor situation with somebody who – I’m pretty confident – just couldn’t be arsed, and didn’t feel like they had to be arsed because there was no manager in the building. That might be just cynical me, but that had been the feeling I’d had since arriving.  I knew that David, the manager, wasn’t going to be there, and my heart had sank a bit when I found that out.  I’d always noticed a marked difference for the worse at MAC when the manager wasn’t there.

TBH I was mostly annoyed because I’d been filming a video diary of the day which got abandoned at this point.

So that was the first thing. Dodds introduced the film, we had a long chat whilst the film was on, we all did the deleted footage screening together.

Whilst this was going on though, unbeknownst to us, several people who had arrived late, were being turned away from entry because we – according to lying staff – had instructed that latecomers were not to be admitted under any circumstances.

That, I’m sure you’ve guessed from my clue with the word “lying”, was absolute fabrication.  I’ve already told you the solitary conversation I had with a member of staff on that afternoon, and I’ve had it confirmed that Dodds didn’t give this instruction either. No way he would have done without asking me first anyway.  It just didn’t happen.

The weather, incidentally, was awful.  As were the roads.  It was entirely plausible for folk to be delayed for reasons out of their control.  This is also a film that the majority of people in there have already seen.  I can’t see that anyone would have been slamming down their popcorn buckets because somebody arrived late.  There’s also plenty of ways into that room without being disruptive, and …oh you don’t need me to explain this.  We know full well what’s gone on here.  This is a contrary power trip innit?

So that’s two days running, we were used as scapegoats by venue representatives, with a lie, to cover their own doing. Two days running comments are on twitter.  Two days running of having to explain yourself and then attempt to clear up the mess of others.

I messaged David from MAC on Sunday evening, and we arranged to talk the next day.  My kidneys decided that wasn’t to be possible, but we caught up briefly later in the week.  He was enormously apologetic, and wanted me to pass that on to people (which is partly what I am doing here).  I can vouch for him as a good guy, by the way.  That’s the reason why, when restrictions were being lifted, I went to him and offered the film.  I knew that MAC were in bother, like so many other performance venues, and he was chuffed that we were gonna put on a special screening with deleted scenes etc.  That’s why he gave us Halloween, that’s why we were both a bit emotional when the screening sold out the smaller cinema, was upgraded to the larger cinema, and then sold out that too.  It was a shot in the arm for them, and he was very grateful to have his first sell out since March 2020.  That's why I agreed to Bishop Auckland halving the fee and just showing the film. I actually could have said "Nope - full fee" as it was the day before, but it was to help them. Then all this palaver.

I said that I was worried I might have been unintentionally rude with that sound tech, despite others  who were in the room assuring me afterwards that I wasn’t. I don’t tend to be rude.  I might sometimes get a bit short when I’m getting frustrated, which was perhaps – at worse – what happened, but I’ve a load of manners that I use a lot.  I’m just not very good at being spoken down to, particularly with such a ludicrous false claim that radio mics are more reliable than wired mics.  That’s just simply untrue.  I knew it was untrue, and he knew it was untrue.  He was just hoping I wouldn’t know it was untrue, so he could just not bother.  

Anyway, David said that his take is that whatever the performer wants, if they can provide it, they should get.  I’m not of that opinion personally, as that way lays the curse of Prima Donna, but it hadn’t been an unreasonable request.  To be honest, the main concern in the phone call was the people who had bought tickets to be turned away.  So refunds were – of course – immediately authorised on that call, and Barry has been trying to sort something by way of compensation for those people from our end.  That’s in progress, but again slightly delayed by my kidneys. It’ll get sorted though.

There was a bit of stroppy online feedback, understandably, but I can assure you that in these situations it is very, very rarely the fault of the “talent”.  Folk who wander on and off stages are very rarely the sort who don’t go to every length they can to keep their audience happy.  I’ve obviously got my abrasive persona some of the time, but in real life both myself and Dodds certainly pull out all the stops regularly, as far as interacting with our audience is concerned.  That’s why it gets so deep under my skin when venues/staff try to chuck us under the bus.  It feels very unjust when it happens.

Deeper than all this, is my belief in the arts, and the frustration inherent in how the arts get trashed by folk on the inside not looking after them.  I could tell you a million and one stories about venues, and promoters, and agents – every one of them a hit and run.  Folk in pretty powerful positions who just don’t seem to see (or maybe just don’t care) the wider damage caused by their ineptitude/savagery.  I've seen promoters dramatically undercut other promoters to the point where they can barely pay the acts, just so they can have another venue to subsidise their own empire. I’ve seen so many badly run venues I’ve worked with go under, and known full well why they did. You’ve all the sympathy in the world for the ground team, but as far as the overall oragnisation is concerned you want to say “Well, what did you think was going to happen?”. Put brutally, almost all of them had it coming.  But that doesn’t make it ok.  It’s not a cause for celebration.  It still doesn’t address the damage of seeing places no longer operating.  That affects the community, the livelihood of performers, and the fundamental growth of the arts as a thing.  It really boils me up and always has. I hate that people get away with destroying important things.

Today though, is for clearing the good name of The ParaPod.  1. I absolutely didn’t pull the Q&A in Bishop Auckland, and 2. We absolutely didn’t insist that latecomers couldn’t come in at MAC.  For any of those unfortunate latecomers, I’m really sorry. We had no idea it was happening, and if we had have known, you’d have obviously have been in, for a screening of a film that had been out for a month.  As I mentioned, the management of MAC are really apologetic too, and nobody has been trying to claim anybody was in the wrong but them.

Are you seeing why I stopped doing live stuff?

Hope you are having the loveliest of days, and that all is well and happy.

All the love

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