ianboldsworth

Monsters Rule OK

Added 2021-12-13 11:01:02 +0000 UTC

Hello there

This may turn into a slightly stream of consciousness post, as I can’t seem to settle on what I want to write about. They’re all variations on a theme, but every time I think about it, I end up deciding to follow a particular thread which then ruins another thread, so I’m just going to start writing it and see where it goes.

So, one of the things I have been doing in my recuperation/bridging back to normality period is reading a load of short stories. I’m a great big fan of a long old book, but I have always had a weird romantic aspiration towards collections of short stories too. It’s entrenched in nostalgia for me, as it was something I was a big fan of as a kid. Dropping into a short tale, ideally cosied up on the sofa or under a duvet, low lighting, peace and quiet, the whole affectation. I liked the containment of those stories. Even when they were without a “satisfactory conclusion”, I was very enamoured with them being stand-alone. Whenever I read short stories now, I think I am searching for those things again.

Invariably, short stories centre around mystery of horror or twist in the tale. I once spent a hugely enjoyable summer holiday reading through a Tales Of The Unexpected collection, despite the TV programme terrifying me. I no longer have that book, and I miss it. I used to read it a lot. Along with other collections of ghost stories that would be stocking fillers on Christmas morning. I once stole from one of these books, an entire plot about a voodoo doll for a creative writing assignment in junior school, and worried about being found out until I finally left. I still cringe when I think of how praised I was for it. I put it in my own words, but there’s no getting away from the fact that I just robbed it. Even now, I worry about accidentally lifting stuff from them. That’s one of the big draws for me, sitting there reading and thinking “this is an ace idea for a story”, so I’m always on guard for making sure I don’t end up convincing myself the idea was mine. I can’t claim the junior school plagiarism was accidental though, that was straightforward theft.

Whenever there’s the mention of me being interested in ghosts and paranormal and all that, which has come up plenty of times around ParaPod conversations, I don’t think I’ve ever gone into that much detail about it. I think most kids, certainly of my generation, had those sorts of books, and they were a regular topic of discussion in social groups. I do think my interest went beyond casual though, and covered many different formats. Watching shows like Tales Of The Unexpected, or Hammer House of Horror, was – as I hinted earlier – a feat of endurance for me. I desperately wanted to watch them, but was always one unnerving shot away from turning it straight off. For years my Grandad had regaled me with the stories of Dracula and Frankenstein, but I distinctly remember the first time I had the opportunity to watch a Dracula film, one of the Hammer versions that was on late at night, and I got five minutes in before bottling it. A girl flopped down from the ceiling with a bloody neck and that was me turning the TV off.

I think it was the fear of the tame horror that eventually led to me braving “proper” horror films in my teens. Almost like overcoming an embarrassment factor. I went through all the brutal stuff, all the Nightmare On Elm Street films and Friday the Thirteenth franchise, and was broadly ‘into’ them, but it was a very different mood to what had first gotten my interest. I had the teenage thing of posters of Freddy on the wall and all that, but there was definitely a hint of frustration with it all, that I only really worked out as I got into my adult life. It ultimately led to me kind of abandoning the slasher/brutal style of horror films.

Nowadays it takes a lot for me to entertain them. I was told many years ago that folk tend to have a very different assessment of those films when you’ve had kids. Now, I’ve not actually had kids, but I think the same rule applies when you’ve got a perspective on the horrors of reality. Not universally of course, not everyone abandons them, but I have a strong sense of not enjoying that sort of schlock brutality on screen anymore. Even as the Saw films were drawing to a close, a series I loved, I was struggling with them. In retrospect, I’d been drawn in by the spiralling, layered storyline, rather than seeing people’s arms being ripped off. I sincerely believe that the original Saw films would have been equally impactful if the camera had cut away at the most gruesome moments, rather than lingering on gore. I’d vouch for the storylines that were brilliantly added to with every new instalment, but I now balk at much of the presentation.

My main realisation was that I was far more charmed by old horror. That had been my starting point, with it initially being relayed anecdotally by my Grandad, along with the mood of ghost trains (which we know I have a remaining adulation for) and those old ghost story books. I went back to that, and am far more likely to be watching an old Universal Monsters movie, or a Hammer film, than revisiting Freddy or Jason. That’s the “horror” I’ve settled on. A more gothic, nostalgic, fantasy genre.

This isn’t even what I want to speak with you about, that’s all scene setting. Do you see what I mean when I say I couldn’t settle on how to write this?

Over the past few weeks I’ve been reading a lot of short stories by R Chetwynd-Hayes. This is the point of it.

For many years, I didn’t make an important link with RCH (as I will now abbreviate it to, as it’s a pain to keep typing out a double-barrelled name, even allowing for the initialisation of Ronald). I’d read a great deal of his stories (and as I’ve been reading my current collection, I am discovering quite how many I read as a child without realising they were by him), but had never made the connection between him and a film called The Monster Club. Which is odd because he is a named character in that film, and it was one of my absolute favourites then and now.

The Monster Club, if you haven’t seen it (and by the law of averages, you probably haven’t), is a portmanteau/anthology movie from 1981. If you decide to watch it now, and you should, please keep in mind that The Empire Strikes Back came out in 1980. Just by way of comparison in production values. This isn’t about budgets, of course The Monster Club couldn’t match Lucasfilm’s efforts, but the very idea that nobody said “we can’t accept that” on the creature design, is baffling. We are talking masks from Blackpool front standard.

Excuse the pic quality, I’ve just screen-grabbed that from YouTube (where the whole film can be viewed, but the Blu-ray is way better), but have a look at those masks. They didn’t even bother putting eye make up around the eye holes. That wouldn’t have broken any bank.

I digress though, because for all the flaws like that, the film is a belter. It’s one of the oddest things you’ll ever see, with one of the most impressive casts (Vincent Price, John Carradine, Britt Ekland, Donald Pleasence, etc), one of the stupidest incongruous soundtracks that works amazingly, and an absolute treasure trove of simple nostalgia. I saw it as a kid, but I’ve a feeling that it’s one of those films that gives a comforting familiarity even if you didn’t see it back then. I might be wrong, but I suspect it’s a similar feel to how I get when I watch The Twilight Zone. Like I knew it then, despite not being born then.

The basic premise, is that R Chetwynd-Hayes (ok I’ll type it all that one last time), is accosted by a vampire and taken to an exclusive private members club that is just for monsters. The vampire then tells him all about the different sorts of Monsters whilst the club entertainment goes on (hence the weird soundtrack), and we are treated to three stand-alone tales. The whole thing is adapted, very loosely, from RCH’s book of the same name. He is not a character in the book himself, that was a decision for the movie. John Carradine doesn’t actually look owt like him. The book has more stories in it too, and the ones chosen for the movie have been mostly messed about with. RCH didn’t like the movie from all accounts, thinking it was a bit too daft, but it does capture some of the mood of his literary tales. When I’ve been reading them recently, they evoke the same feelings I have for the film. Kind of quaint, and safely dark. The impact moments strike harder as a result.

(That's a chart that's on the wall of The Monster Club - one of RCH's trademarks was to theorise on cross-breeds of monsters, and essentially create new ones beyond the usual archetypes)

Even when I watch that film now (and I did last week), there are moments that still unsettle me. The movie was unofficially aimed at a young audience (like a horror film for kids), and there is imagery that I know will stay with me forever. The character that scared me the most, ended up having a double impact when a new teacher started at my primary school who was the living double of him. I genuinely thought it was the actor who had played him. That was the teacher that went on to physically assault me in a case of mistaken identity (not that it would have been ok if he’d got the right kid), and I actually think he’d be jailed if that happened now. He certainly wouldn’t have kept his job. At least he didn’t whistle (that will make sense if you’ve seen, or see, the film).

(that's the character in the very rare comic book adaptation - I don't actually have it, and searching for a full digital copy hasn't been successful yet)

Reading the short stories these last few weeks has been a real treat for me. It was exactly what I was looking for in terms of comfort, but has also reawakened my wish to write short stories. I just don’t think I’m very good at it. I try loads (there was that one recently at Halloween, and all the 4000 Words ones), but I still don’t think I’ve got my head around it. I aim at getting those senses of discomfort and twists and all that, but I think I ultimately overcomplicate them. The trick might be to really simplify it, and it be all about the story. I’d still like to write more, and I’m sure I’ll hamper you with others, but it might be a case of prepping more than I usually do. I also think I look to try to make them more thorough than they need be. Plenty of the ones I’ve been reading are relatively linear, and don’t always have an amazing pay-off, but as vignettes they work. It’s hard to avoid aspiring to a rug-pull though. I think it’s a trend through short stories generally. I also occasionally read O.Henry stories, as I’ve a gorgeous Folio edition of his collection, and they are ‘twist in the tale’ efforts. Pretty gentle like, not gothic at all. Apparently, they were a huge influence on Stan Lee, and they are unarguably great.

So I’m pushing you towards watching The Monster Club at some point. Give it a chance. It’s the definition of a cult film, but really accessible. Also, if you can get hold of them, and if you have the slightest interest, any stuff by R. Chetwynd-Hayes (I’ve written it all again), is worth your down time. Posterity was reportedly an important drive for him, yet he is largely unpublished in recent times. I’ve enjoyed giving him some posthumous attention for that reason, but also because I’ve been thoroughly engaged by his work. If you’re looking for something of that ilk for the festive season, then consider that a recommendation from me.