Over 8k words of I'm Not Sorry.
(Well, maybe a little sorry.)
(Actual sorryness may be variable by downvote storm level.)
What can I say? Sometimes it's Crackfic Week. And when it's Crackfic Week, you've just gotta write a crackfic. So I've gotten this out of my system: the silliness is up, the 'verse status on this story is '@#$$ no,' and I can focus on something else -- which, for the next posting, will probably be finishing Jack's tale. A Triptych chapter will be closer to the absolute end of the month.
Oh, and for the record, I thought about including a reference to the long-running horror franchise. Then I learned a little more about that franchise, and there went that idea. This is a little more towards Aos Sí Classic, if not by much.
Ultimately, my Irish was up...