The Board Game - Part 4

“It’s my turn again,” Steve announced, leaning forward to grab the dice. He stopped short just after grabbing them from the table due to something jabbing into his middle.

It wasn’t anything on the table: it was the table. Steve glanced down to see his shirt straining atop a budding pot belly.

“‘All their rolls…,’” Steve mumbled before realization dawned. “Aw fuck. We have to finish this fast.”

“Why?” Jay asked, hand idly stroking his left breast in an outlandishly lewd way.

“Because every single time you guys roll the dice I gain weight.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad,” Gord said, brightening at the prospect of not one, but two fatties at the table.

“Yeah, just keep it in your pants man,” replied Steve, pointedly staring at the raging boner that Gord’s skintight jeans did little to conceal. “I don’t have any particular desire to blimp up like some of us here.”

“You’re just jealous,” Jay shot back, a finger teasing his very large and very erect nipple.

“Whatever,” Steve said grabbing the dice. To him, it seemed like the best way to finish the game was to simply cheat, so he carefully laid the dice down so they landed on double sixes.

“Hah!” Steve shouted as his piece began to move forward, but then stopped. A flash of light, and then words once again appeared at the center of the board.

You thought wise, you thought quick,

But we see through your simple trick.

Since intelligence is your folly,

Now descend evolutions trolley.

Gord’s eyebrows rose as he read the words. “Well, that doesn’t sound good. What did you do?”

“I tried to roll the dice so they landed on 12…” Steve moaned, placing his head in his hands on the table.

There was a stretching sound, then a tear, and Steve brought his head back up in alarm. Jay and Gord noticed the changes with a gasp--the protruding brow, the underbite, and unkempt facial hair made Steve seem more like a caveman than his previously mousey self. Then with a sudden surge of growth, his clothes seemed to explode off his body, revealing an even hairier body that was thickening by the second. His arms grew long, his shoulders impossibly broad, and his chest became even more barrel-like than Gord’s. But unlike Gordan, it was all muscle, and all of it was covered in dense, thick, fur.

He also grew taller. In moments, his knees were pressing into the table and Steve adopted a hunched posture from sitting in a chair that was obviously too small. He brought his long, ape-like arms forward to steady himself, giving Jay and Gord their first look at the rough and thick knuckles.

Finally, the changes seemed to stop and Steve let out a defeated moan.

“I get it,” Jay announced. “You thought you were being clever by cheating, so now you’re a neanderthal.”

“Me sorry,” Steve said, getting a raised eyebrow from both the still-human men. The voice was not only much deeper but the choice of verbiage vastly simpler than what they’d come to expect from the formerly erudite Steve.

“Peez,” he grunted, holding out his head-sized fist to Gord and then dropping the dice in front of him. It was his turn next.