Enemy: Part 7

I take Ashley to the observation deck where we sit still full of the warm feelings of having made love to watch the stars and admire the beauty of her blue-green planet and its two pink moons in the distance when they would slowly spin into view.  Man and woman gazing together into the stars…it all felt SO right.  Having found a private corner just to ourselves we laugh, we flirt, and we talk.  We talk and we talk and we talk.

I learn that Ashley was a country girl.  She came from a family of tea farmers but that her real passion was grav-bike racing.  Before the war she’d been something of a rising star in the race world and was on the cusp of going pro before the draft came.  I learn that she’d only been able to go in for the first transitioning treatment before the war which got her seventy percent of the way there but denied her the full breasts and fully feminine figure that the second trip would have given her.  I assure her, truthfully, that I adored her small breasts just the way they were.  And I learn that she had taken a host of different duties while in the military.  She did anything she could to stay out of the fighting until at the very end she had no choice.

From me she learns about my life in the core of the Empire.  She learns of the sky-scraping cities and the pressing crowds and the ever-present corruption of my world.  She learns about Gran, so much about Gran.  About how she raised me and my brother.  About how she told used to tell us stories from Earth and how she tried to instill ‘old-fashioned values’ in us even as the world around us told us otherwise.  And…for the very first time that I confessed it to anybody…I told her about the dreams.  Those awful dreams.

“It’s odd you know.”  I say softly as I gaze into the starry beyond.  “When it was actually happening I couldn’t even hear them.  But now I do…I hear the screams every night.”  I close my eyes and whisper.  “I’m broken Ashley.”

Ashley rests her hand upon mine and holds it in a tender but firm grip.  There were no words that could ever heal my mind but that simple soft touch gave me an anchor to which to cling.  While the time ended on a somber note it meant so much to both of us to be able to bond and feel this genuine human connection.  Deep down we knew that our budding feelings for each other were doomed and that this one day might be all we get of each other before the end.

With a glance over my shoulder to make sure nobody was looking I lean and kiss her cheek.  “Hungry?”

“After a week of hospital food?  Famished!”

I squeeze her hand and wink.  “I know a nice little place.”

“I hope it’s got a drive through.”  She quips.

We wheel into the mess to find the place a hive of hungry marines.  There are introductions aplenty as we weave through the other grunts of Bravo company.  As always the banter is rough and tumble but everybody is upbeat and the mood downright celebratory.  While the hold up to jump was not appreciated to a man we were just happy to be going home again.  We shuffle through the line and get our trays of simulated peas and carrots, simulated mashed potatoes, and simulated fried fish topped with sloppy simulated tartar sauce prepared with all of the culinary artistry and attention to detail that military cooks the galaxy over were so famous for.

I take a seat at the end of one of the long benches so that Ashley could sit at the end beside me.  We clank our mugs of recycled water in a toast then dig in.  We eat and chat, Ashley in the guise of the amnesiac ‘Ash’ of Echo company, and generally have a fine time joking and jibing with the boys.  Keeping our date secret kind of added to the fun, a dash of danger and subterfuge to season our otherwise bland entree.  While she called herself a coward I couldn’t help but admire her courage as she sat surrounded by the very soldiers that had trampled her homeland.  That wasn’t the only thing I was admiring.  While we couldn’t say anything the smoldering glances and occasional ‘accidental’ brushes against each other’s hands or legs kept the sexual tension as taut as any date I’d had back in the world.

With the meal had we take a sight-seeing trip around the ship before finding our way to the rec bay.  Right away I see that all of the smaller screens were spoken for and on the big screen was one of the usual propaganda films full of personal heroism and the grandeur of war.  My date squirms in her seat at the sight of the square jawed hero in an Imperial uniform mowing down his enemies.  I spin and take us right back out the door again.  “Actually I’m not feeling like a movie right now.”

“Me neither.”

“There are games.”

“Mmm, anything else?”

“I could show you my pad.”

“Oh!?”  She sits up in high hopes.

I chuckle, knowing exactly what she was thinking, and say in a low voice.  “I wish.  I share it with three others.”

“Oh.”  She slumps back down again.  “That still sounds nice.”

We take a very brief tour of the barracks before I roll her into my room.  The main space was empty but one of the pods had its screen closed and the snoring emanating from within told us that it was occupied.  I roll Ashley to a stop at my pod then walk around to sit at the end of the tube.

“So this is my place.”  I say.  “I’ve got everything I need.  Bunk.”  I  pat the foot of the narrow mattress.  “Music.”  I point out my aud-player which, thankfully, hadn’t been broken when Ashley tossed to the ground.  “Entertainment.”  I point to the stack of comics and other books in one of the cubbies.  “Gear.”  I kick my heel against the storage locker that ran beneath the pod.  “All the comforts of home.”

Leaning down Ashley peers into the eight foot by four foot by three foot space that looked more coffin than accommodation.  “Niiiice.  All this space for a single guy.  You must be doing pretty well for yourself.”  She had let her voice soften again, gosh she had a pretty voice.  

“I do okay.”  I joke.  “Government job, ya know?”

“A real catch.”  She smiles.  “Hey.  Is that your Gran?”

I smile too.  Crawling in I fetch the only picture I had on my wall and bring it back to her.  The photo, creased and faded by years of being stuffed into one pocket or pack or another, showed my grandma with her eyes closed in the middle of a hearty laugh.  This picture always helped me remember the wonderful music of her laughter.  I kiss it then hand it over.

Ashley sets the picture on her lap and touches Gran’s cheek with a fingertip.  “She’s lovely.”

“Yeah.”  I say.  “I miss her.  Over the years all the other stuff I used to think important just kinda…faded.  But her.”  I smile wider.  “She’s all I really care about back there.  Her and my brother and his family.”  I sigh.  “I had to come how many light years to find out what’s really important?  But I know it now and I won’t act like such a damn stubborn fool when I get back there again.”  With a look of sadness, true heartfelt sadness, in her clear blue eyes as the thought of family haunts her she passes the photo back.

“I am sure she misses you too Joseph.”

“Yeah.”  I crawl back in to replace it on my wall.

We sit and chat a bit longer as we listen to some tunes from the player.  Our conversation was pleasant but surface level as both of us continually glance toward the bed that was RIGHT THERE.  But I knew we couldn’t dare risk it.  Just then something catches my eye.  “What the heck?”

“What is it?”

“Mail.”  I stand and walk over to take the envelope from out of my slot on the wall.  It was plain white with my name scrawled across it.  “What the heck could this be?  I haven’t gotten mail since…I don’t even know!”  I open the envelope and read the contents.  “No!”

“What is it?”

I shake my head, my arms flopping to my sides.  “They’re putting me up for a medal for bringing you in.  Can you believe that?”  I stare at the words for a bit longer.  “I’ll get my name in the paper back home.  There will be picture and everything.”  I remember back to those articles from growing up and remember thinking how proud and courageous those soldiers had looked.  But that was a long time ago and I was a different Joe now.  “Unbelievable.”

“What’s a war without heroes?”

“Hero?  In this war?”  I say.  “No such thing.  I won’t accept it.  I won’t wear it.”

“Would they give you the choice?”

“No.”  My shoulders sag.  “Although…I won’t even get the chance.  Once the truth…”  I leave the rest unspoken.

This was all a fantasy.  There would be no medal.  No homecoming.  No picture in the paper.  No Gran.  I didn’t know what was going to happen with Ashley but, whether it was a feeling of responsibility or those ‘old-fashioned values’ I’d been raised with or…love, I knew that I wouldn’t leave her to face the consequences alone.  Even if I had the chance.

A snort comes from the closed pod reminding us both that we were not alone and a moment later the screen slides open.  The hairy and buck ass naked form of my roomie Trench crawls out of his bunk to stumble out the door toward the head.  Ashley and I look at each other and start to laugh.

“To hell with this.”  I crumple the paper and jam it into the trash.  “You wanna get outta here?”

“Oh!”  She glances toward the bed one last time longingly then sighs.  “Alright then.”

I hide a smile as I grab a blanket and lay it over her lap.  I take up driver position once more and wheel her out the door.  The date wasn’t quite over yet.  I had one more place that I wanted to show her.  And if we were lucky, really lucky, we might just get there unseen.

Part 8