General update

Hello guys! Sorry for the low level of content output here lately. I deeply appreciate those of you who have stuck around and supported my work. I very much needed the past several weeks of rest. I am planning on letting pledges roll through for January, so get ready to supply ideas for those of you receiving rewards from your tiers.

(Mental health talk warning) The past two months have been very hard on me. I've taken a step back from my work and taken it at a very VERY slow pace to put more emphasis on stabilizing myself. I think it's partly thanks to seasonal depression but I have been coping with renewed symptoms of PTSD that I thought I had mostly under control; paranoia, dissociation, dysphoria, agoraphobia, nightmares, outbursts of anger.
I am in a very bad way. I need professional help. I'm working on getting it right now, as scary as it is, but I know ultimately it is the right move to make. I am financially struggling from my acute mental state. I'm willing to roll the dice and seek therapy in hopes that I can start finding my center.
I have not enjoyed my job for most of the 2020. It has helped taking a little step back from fat kink works, and I appreciate those of you who understand and respect that, more than you know. Those of you who encourage me to do what I need to do, work on things for myself, you are my heroes. Those of you who support me even when I seem to have little to offer you, I give you ALL my love. You help restore my faith.

It's really hard for me to talk about these things because I know it's something that nobody wants to hear. I would much rather keep my head down and focus all my energy on getting back to normal, because I know you guys would rather hear that I've overcome it, rather than get an update that things are still really bad. But keeping you guys in the dark isn't fair. So here I am to say: I'm still around. I am not doing well. I don't know when I'll feel normal again. But PLEASE if you have any questions or want to talk about the status of me and my work, DO NOT hesitate to talk to me about it. If you are frustrated or confused, I would much rather discuss it than lose you.

Let it be said that my essentials are taken care of. I currently have somewhere to live, and I have a partner who makes sure that my needs are met every day, eating, hygiene, sleep. For that I am extremely grateful. This is purely an internal, although the strain it puts on my own personal income does hurt. It is extremely hard to keep money in the bank and cover rent every month when I am shut down like this.

I will be uploading November's rewards as soon as they are all finished, and I look forward to the ideas some of you will be giving me in January. Have a very safe and happy holidays, I love and appreciate each one of you.

<3 Vishy