Sass Wednesday Notes Ep. 4 | Echoes from the Grave

• Family: Ron & Nancy. About to get hitched. Lookin’ for a new home. Surely this won’t go all too horribly. (We know this song and dance by now.)
• OH SHIT RANDOM WOMAN WITH AN AXE. You’d think they’d have enough time to run with how slow she was.
  • And it was just a dream. Of course it was.
• They had six kids holy fucking fuck. (I know, original.)
• In their defense, the house doesn’t look like it does in Nancy’s dream… not yet at least.
• “I hope you’re good fighters.” THE FUCK? THAT’S NOT OMINOUS AT ALL.
  • Look at that shitty wave goodbye. Jeez.
• They compared themselves to the Brady Bunch - their joke, not mine. TIME TO FIND AN UNFITTING PLACE TO PUT THE BRADY BUNCH THEME SONG.
  • OOH, MAYBE “Sure Jan” JOKES. YES.
• Basements usually are murder dungeons. Creepy as fuck. Same for attics, unfortunately.
• “I wonder why the people had nailed the windows shut with big nails.” Because unfortunately they were out of spoons to nail ‘em shut.
• “Something’s not right in this house.” WHEN IS IT EVER ON THIS SHOW?
• Crazy old lady who used to live here… OF COURSE.
• Friends come over, and immediately they nope on out… interesting.
  • You know your house is haunted when your visitors are excited to get to court.
• OH NO. AN OLD WOMAN. RUN BEFORE SHE TELLS US ANOTHER STORY ABOUT HER GRANDKIDS.
• Again, the family is acknowledging the haunting pretty early on. Let’s hope it’s not as boring as “Hell House.”
• When does a blessing ever work in this show?
  • “It was like a big question mark.” I’m using that now.
• Oh apparently they have a seventh kid on the way… oh deary.
• So the cycle of the haunting is like the cycle of abuse… actually that’s lowkey terrifying.
• Of course it followed her to the hospital, why wouldn’t it?
• God this poor kid. First he gets shoved down the stairs, then he sees this crap trying to go the bathroom, and then it enters his bedroom.
  • DON’T LOOK, KID. DO NOT LOOK.
• And of course the reporter rats them out. Asshat.
• Oh sweet Jesus these nightmares.
  • That old lady needs to fuck off.
• Oh, so there could’ve been a fire. Damn. So Nancy had a legit premonition. Oh shit.
• Warn you? She was laughing at you as the fire was spreading. The bitch wants y’all dead.
• A soldier? The hell does this have to do with the old woman?
  • Oh, okay, here we go.
  • Oh, so were those footsteps Allan heard the soldier guarding him? That’s actually kinda comforting.
• Oh shit at least one death before they can move. NOPE. FUCK THAT.
• So the new people are interested to buy the house, and like the paranormal crap. OKAY. GOOD FOR THEM. HAVE FUN, BITCHES.
• Oh, so the soldier WAS protecting them. Cool.