SamSuka
SmallBeans
SmallBeans

patreon


Movie Production Diary #24

As we recently announced, we're making a movie and a true crime podcast, and we're making them in full view of you, our Patrons. Today, we worked on the Furry Movie. In this episode, Michael and Abe round up all the feedback they’ve gotten from friends, writers/producers, and the Blacklist website in order to see how their last draft is resonating with people. Feedback can be painful, but it’s always necessary!

Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691

Comments

Gonna pretend this podcasts is made just for me jks jks but seriously, big true crime fan, really looking forward to the podcast fellas ❤

Taylor Carriage

ignore the blacklist notes, xoxo, a person who read your script.

Adam Ganser

For Ahmed's B story beat... it feels like the escalation could show if he tried to bring up the subject with Sara, and she tells him to mind his own business and not try to "save" her. He chickens out and drops it. That adjusts his final beat of that arc to include learning when he should give other people their autonomy, and when sticking your nose in and acting without permission is the right thing to do. I agree that it strengthens the script to lose the Hank/Art pedophilia concern; aside from it being a bigger issue than the story has time to deal with, without it Trey's deal with Arturo is that Hank seems to be focusing more of his Dad energy on this random kid. Trey feels like he's being replaced. That gets... let's call it muddied, if there's a sexual concern too. On that subject, it's maybe a bit cliched, but what if Hank gave Arturo Trey's room in the new house? When he brings it up, Hank could call him out, "It's not really your room, I just moved in. Yeah, you'd claimed it, but you had like one box in there that you hadn't even unpacked. Art's gonna be here full-time, be fair."

BWJhimself

I think a lot of the issues people have with Sarah would go away if her character was more unique and more interesting. I think the main 3 characters are very archetypal but Sarah in particular has always felt like the stereotypical cool tough damaged girl who rags on the boys in a way that just feels tired and tropey the whole way through and i dont think it feels real. If it felt real nobody would feel like she's not getting her due diligence, they'd jusy feel moved by her story.

George

I like the juxtaposition of the implication that Hank is of concern, when the counselor is an actual concern. It dispels the rush to bias. It’s a good lesson. Just my take.

Ellen Swaim

To add on to my above note: what if when Ahmed calls Sarah at the con it is revealed after their conversation that she is already there with Arturo.

Cody Franks

I would also like to see Sarah at the con. It could give her a chance to see that her art skills could be source if financial security (how will she support herself after emancipation). Also give her and Arturo to connect, so that one of Michael’s ideas about Sarah and Arturo collaborating on a comic together in the future. The comics become a source of therapy and catharsis for both of them to deal with their troubled past.

Cody Franks

This may be a kill your darlings note but... it seems like a lot of the feedback regarding Sarah's lack of development/focus is stemming from the fact that you introduce concrete issues for her to overcome that aren't given enough time. I wonder if the affair with the guidance councillor is necessary? It doesn't seem to overlap with Ahbed or Trey's storylines as naturally as some of the other factors in her life beyond it's introduction. Also, in your conversations you seem to be having trouble settling on how to wrap it up without losing the tone of the third act. Simplifying the amount of issues present in her life may result in her to feel more serviced in the page count and it means you only have to resolve one external issue in the third act, her home situation. Rather than also resolving the affair which, so far, most suggestions on how to do that seem to be taking her agency away by having the resolution instigated by Trey and Ahmed. I don't think removing this aspect would make her any less three-dimensional as her actions and motives are already justified by the other external and internal factors in her life.

Isaac Still

Note on the note from Friend #1 it sounds to me that there’s a desire to have almost a feel good moment that hammers home the positive impact on the child/parent relationship that Trey’s acceptance of Hank’s sexuality and chosen community has but you as writers want to avoid a too obvious interaction or lose Hank’s part of the process with watching old home movies; would it be possible to have it play out as written but then one of Hank’s friends video calls him from the con and Hank gets to watch Trey on stage that way. You see the emotional response Hank has at witnessing a moment of acceptance without his presence influencing Trey’s experience. Also gives a chance to juxtapose video call footage in foreground against the home movie footage in the background (but I’m not a writer or director so that could be way too cheesy). Or something similar that allows the gap to be bridged emotionally for the audience without making too big a scene.

DocGarby

Note on second Blacklist note - “sex-positive” is an odd way to describe a sexually-abused kid who acts out sexually and uses sex as barter for shelter

Ellen Swaim

Far too late now I'm sure but i was thinking since you have all these scenes where Sarah is sneaking in and out of places it would be powerful to see her just walking into her own place in the end through the door

George


More Creators