Behavior - Grocery Store Rule - Monday Minders

Trigger Warning- Talking about unacceptable behavior.

This post is NOT calling out anyone’s behavior, this is a moving forward post and any prior behavior has been addressed.

This is also not a cry for help from me, I have many layers of self care and mental health care in place. This is a proactive message of expectations and encouragement.

We are all in this together, there are many moments during this crisis where it is easy for me to forget that.

If you are feeling overwhelmed right now, start here https://www.crisistextline.org/

I wanted to do a post about acceptable behavior. I know this is a tough time for everyone and I understand that people are dealing with a lot and there can be a lot of strong feelings coming up. I know everyone is just a human being trying to do their best in the midst of uncertainty right now.

Please remember that I am also a person. Other patrons are people with feelings too, workers at Patreon and other places that support the podcast are human beings as well. We are all doing our best to manage our working and personal lives. (Obviously this goes beyond our community)

I wanted to address a few forms of unacceptable behavior that have slightly increased recently-

1. Patreon is one of my workplaces and I consider patrons my clients at my workplace. Making comments that COULD make other patrons uncomfortable is not acceptable and those comments will be deleted. I reserve the judgement to delete comments and block patrons based on comments or other behavior. I also have the right to be wrong and delete comments or block patrons to err on the safe side for myself and the rest of the patrons. Remember that this is a safe space and while I welcome discussion and even critical ideas, this is my workplace and I expect behavior that treats others with dignity and respect. Your rights as a “client” to express yourself do not trump my right to a safe workplace or other clients rights to a place where they feel respected.
2. While I understand people might be frustrated by a tech issue or disappointed about something else related to patreon it is never ok to lash out, attack, shame or use vulgarity or other harsh language when messaging myself or a member of Patreon’s staff or anyone else related to the show. If you have strong feelings please express them in a respectful and professional way. Simply saying “I am very frustrated since I have tried to get X to work and it did not” is ok and gets the point across.
3. I am a person and I have personal boundaries, please respect them. I realize everyone defines their personal space in slightly different ways, but when in doubt, leave it out. If I feel my professional or personal boundaries are being violated I will take appropriate steps.

Let’s all take a breath........

I just want to get this out there. Some of you might be feeling worried or wondering, should I post anymore? Or what if it was me? (as I said this is not directed at any current patrons). Here is a simple rule that you can use to filter most of what I said above.

I call it the “Grocery Store Rule”

Before you post your comment or send a message in haste, just ask yourself two questions as you reread the message…

“What would I do if someone walked up to me in a grocery store and said these words to me?” 

Take a second to just wonder how it might make you feel.

How would you react if someone said what you are about to say, someone you don’t really know, used your language towards you? Would you walk away, would you tell them that is NOT okay OR would it be totally fine and even strike up a conversation? If you pause or are not sure about the answer then it is probably a no.

An example…”Those are really nice shoes.” versus “What kind of fool buys frozen plums?”

The second part is “Would I be comfortable saying these words to someone at a grocery store in front of other people?” If the answer is yes you are probably okay, if there is hesitation then it is not appropriate. (if you need to you could pretend your mother or hero or boss was there)

“I’m sorry to interrupt you but I saw you were buying those minty bars and I’ve tried those and found the ones to their left to be much more minty and they tasted better.” versus “You are the slowest cashier I have ever seen and should be fired.”

So that’s about it. This is just something I felt like I needed to address right now on behalf of myself, everyone who helps out around the podcast as well as all of the patrons and listeners. 

Again if you are struggling that is understandable. If you want some extra help with any type of crisis here is a good place to start https://www.crisistextline.org/

We are all in this together, this crisis, this spaceship earth and this struggle with sleep…

for me getting that reminder can give me some space to pause and breathe.