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Arcane Apocalypse ~ 46

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G8eJNuyF0CUnDNjyKscK3CDzEDNusHQTNalLdeDDJ4w/edit?usp=sharing

*****

The large man glanced at where Carmilla’s dainty finger pointed, his rugged face twisting into a scowl. “The cunt tried to shank me in me neck while I slept. That cur wanted me dead, so he sent that pathetic sack of shit to finish the job he didn’t have the guts to do.”

“Did he really?” Carmilla mused, giving the man an unkind smile that for some reason made him simper and bow his head. “Like we were here to hunt you down on his orders?”

“No!” The man shouted. “I mean YES! He did shank me too, just a bit too late as I was already mid-shift. Me neck was more than tough and thick enough to survive a single shoddy pocket knife … I still have the damned thing somewhere in the cave … “

Feeling increasingly weirded out by whatever the fuck was going on, Mia squeezed Carmilla’s arm. The simpering, naked, filthy man before her and his deranged ramblings were really raising alarm bells in her head by the dozens.

This was the sort of person she made sure not to look in the eye when she met one on the street, and pray they ignored her. The man reminded her of those unstable lunatics that looked fine one moment, only to lunge at you with a used syringe that had more STDs on it than Mia had fingers to count them on.

Her human, and probably just general survival instincts were screaming at her to stop being stupid and move her dumb butt away from the lunatic.

“I’ll handle it from now if you want to stay out of this,” Carmilla murmured, glancing at Mia over the shoulder and at the single pink chain still grasped in her hand. “I know … this probably looks very strange, but I- uhm, I wouldn’t want to kill him if he really only killed that man in self defence.”

Her eyes were understanding, those ruby gems shining with a gentle light which gave Mia a bit of a whiplash after seeing how the girl acted for the last few minutes. 

“Okay,” Mia said, gulping as she glanced at the man. He looked back, the submissive demeanour he had on with Carmilla evaporating as he snarled her way, making Mia stumble back in fright as his jaws enlarged to snap at the air.

In return, Carmilla’s claws sunk into his chest up to the knuckles and then yanked out a rib with a torturous crack of flesh and bone.

The man only grunted, showing how used to the pain he got with a regenerative Skill, or more likely, Trait that powerful. If getting a rib torn out barely made him flinch, how atrociously agonising did those Blood spells have to be to have him seizing and writhing in pain? 

I think I really don’t want to know. Mia though, taking a respectful dozen steps back after letting go of Carmilla’s calming arm. She still kept Arcane Shackles going though, an ember of spite blossoming in her heart. 

The damned mutt played stupid games, so it would win stupid prizes. Which in this case were a group of chains tightening around his body and cracking every joint he had in all four of his limbs.

He’s much weaker in his human form. Mia realised, having never been able to do more than to hold him back while he was in his bear form. Now though, she felt with a flick of her wrist she could snap his neck, break his spine or crush his arm into pulp. These Shackles might be cooler than I thought.

Still, consciously controlling them was taxing and strained her mental muscles considerably more than anything she’d done before. Probably it was her now ten points of Control that made it possible at all, along with her fully utilised Sensitivity.

She felt like the spells she cast weren’t just weapons, simple tools to be used and discarded. There was a connection there, like the spells cast with her own mana were still part of her, though that feeling was extremely faint.

“What’s your name?” Carmilla asked, her voice back to being merciless with a new hint of malice creeping into it.

“Lars,” the man said, his face twitching in pain as Mia’s chains grinded against his crushed joints. 

“Well, Lars,” Carmilla said, leaning closer to the man as she grabbed him by the jaw with a clawed hand. “I want you to tell me everything, from the very beginning. Why are you out here? Who was that Alpha who you spoke of?”


*****


Mia’s Shackles dissipated a mere five minutes later — even with her having dismissed the sadly unused Spectral Blade a while ago —, just as she’d felt the approach of mana deprivation. So after ordering her Familiar to keep watch, she sat down on a torn out trunk and Meditated.

A tiny flicker of her awareness paid attention to the rambling story Carmilla was slowly teasing out of the lunatic piece by piece.

The gist of it was that the bear shifter had a mansion up near the top of the hill. After the System came he started picking up all of the rowdy Shifters near him and — with some weird Shifter magic — formed a Pack with himself as its leader, its Alpha.

Unfortunately for him, one of the werewolves he picked up a week into the apocalypse was strong, almost as strong as Lars and twice as ambitious.

The werewolf poisoned Lars and then challenged him to a duel, which Lars had to accept due to that weird Pack magic of his even though he was half-dead from shitting his guts out due to the poison.

The werewolf won, obviously, and in a show of mercy only banished Lars from the Pack instead of killing him like it would have been proper for a new Alpha.

As for which part of that process broke Lars’ mind into the crazed state it was in at the moment, Mia didn't know. Still, she hazarded a guess that the man had not always been a lunatic, what with him being able to assemble a Pack in the first place.

That must have taken more than just strength, a leader was supposed to have some charisma too, right? A proper one anyway, not the tyrannical asshole kind that the werewolf ‘king’ and Jeff are. Perhaps Lars was like that too.

“Wha-“ a startled voice shouted, quickly followed by scrambling and then a thud.

Mia cracked an eye open, breaking out of her Meditation and feeling the incoming stream of mana slow to a crawl. I’m at about 40%. Should be enough for now.

Dumb, or perhaps Dumber (it was hard to tell the difference), was first to wake from the fudge state Lars’ shouts put the soldiers in. As for the thud, apparently the moron’s first action was smashing his face into a tree.

The rest, who’d all fallen into some strange half-asleep, half-paralysed state all woke up at his shout right next to them. Even Carmilla and Lars stopped their conversation to look over.

The Sergeant stood up, a hand on his temples as he gazed at the surroundings with a cautious grimace. His eyes landed on Mia, swept over her then stopped on Carmilla and Lars kneeling before her feet.

The man stared, incomprehension clear on his face then he scrambled for the handgun holstered at his waist a moment later.

Better be safe than sorry. Mia thought as she watched the wide bloodshot eyes of the older man. He might really just shoot her.

“Break the gun,” Mia whispered, tugging at her bond with her Familiar to make sure it knew the order was meant for it.

The cat shot off, and before the Sergeant could even fully pull the pistol out in his frenzied haste, a cat clawed at his hand and then chomped down on the gun.

Metal shrieked and bent, and the Familiar hopped away not a second later. The gun was thoroughly ruined, barrel bent and grip pierced by a fang.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” The man shouted, startling his drowsy looking soldiers into full awareness. “You-“

“Calm down Sergeant,” Carmilla said coldly, gazing at the five of them like they were less than the dirt on her boots. “I’ve just gotten what Colonel Zeigler had been searching for for the last week.”

“I am the commanding officer of this squad!” The Sergeant reddened, jaw clenching. Did whatever Lars did to him scramble his brain? “You’ll face the tribunal for striking me!”

The second part had been said with a heated glare at Mia, the man stomping up to her pompously without any fear as his troopers assembled behind him.

None of them had their rifles though, and it seemed only the Sergeant carried a sidearm well hidden enough that Mia missed it. The rest was all hidden under a bush nearby, since she’d disarmed the bunch right before going to Meditate.

Mia didn’t back down, stumble back and scamper off at top speed like she would have two weeks ago. No, she stood her ground and gazed at the approaching heavyset man two heads taller than her with only curiosity and a hint of something else in her gaze.

Her orders to the Familiar from before still stood. It would protect her if he did anything.

Well, apparently not from ‘anything’. The elemental controlling the Familiar was probably only slightly less shocked by the sucker punch that knocked the breath out of Mia than she was.

“That’s right, you arrogant bitch!” The man spat, gleeful as Mia collapsed with a whimper. “That’s what you get- ARGHHHHH!!”

Mia gritted her teeth, then pushed herself up. Halfway through the motion an arm snaked under her armpits and helped her stand.

Carmilla’s calming scent that reminded Mia of pine and roses gently caressed her nostril and calmed her nerves.

“Make it stop!” Gwen screamed at the two girls, barely having the peace of mind not to follow in her commanding officer’s footsteps and stomp up to Mia and make her. “Tell your monster to stop!”

Mia snorted out a laugh, dismissively glancing away from Gwen and looking at the Sergeant. His uniform was torn, bloody tears and rips covering more of his skin than not. He screamed, rolling on the ground as the Familiar darted around, dodging the frantic fists and grapples of Dumb and Dumber.

It wasn’t going for the kill, just like she’d ordered, but neither was it satisfied with merely doing the bare minimum and disabling Mia’s attacker.

HOW DARE HE? Mia was livid, her whole body trembling from barely suppressed rage. He hit her. He did that, didn’t he? He really did!

A flare of wrath almost made her give the killing order, but perhaps due to Carmilla’s calming presence already putting her nerves to rest pulled her back enough to reason to stop in time.

“Back,” Mia ordered, and the Familiar danced through the two oaf’s grasps one last time before racing back over to Mia and settling in atop her head. “That was very, very rude, but I suppose you are hurting a hundred times more than I ever did from your punch so I’ll let the matter rest for now.”

Carmilla’s grasp tightened on her, the hand the girl still had around Mia’s waist to help her stand dug into Mia’s flesh almost painfully. With a start, the pain was gone and Carmilla slumped with a whispered, “Sorry.”

“W-what was that about?” Mia said, her face still a grimace. 

“Nothing, sorry,” the vampiress said, barely in a whisper as she stared at her feet meekly. 

“You think you can get away with that?” Gwen asked, her anger close to boiling over by the looks of it as she pointed at her groaning Sergeant.

Mia glanced at him, winced in sympathy that came unbidden despite her loathing for the man. Her Familiar was quite vicious, taking both of his eyes and ravaging the fist he used to punch her into an unidentifiable gory mess.

While it wasn’t her who did it directly, she still felt like a colossal hypocrite the moment she thought of what names she called Lars in her mind before. Arguably, what she’d done to the Sergeant was even worse than what he’d done to his would-be murderer.

The sight made her stomach lurch, there was so much blood. Maybe she’d gone too far, that was … going to cause lasting damage. Possibly blinding the man for life. I’d have gotten decades in jail for that. That is, if this was still the earth from a month ago.

“But it isn’t,” Mia murmured under her breath, gently untangling herself from Carmilla and stepping up to Gwen. “Isn’t it? This isn’t the same Earth we knew. This isn’t the world where the same laws still apply, is it?”

“You-“ Gwen started, starting to sound annoyingly similar to her superior.

“Gweny, let’s not,” Fred made an appearance, his wiry hand grabbing Gwen by the wrist. “Okay? Let’s not sacrifice ourselves to getting mutilated, hmmm?”

The woman glowered for a moment, the tore her arm out of the man’s grasp and stomped off to the Sergeant.

Mia’s ears twitched, catching the pained moans of the man and a spike of immense guilt shot into her gut. The man had been abrasive, an asshole and had the gall to hit her. But, did he deserve that for those ‘crimes’ of his?

This might be a new world, but that doesn’t mean I need to be as much of an asshole as he is.

Mia grimaced, thinking about what she was panning to do then let it out in a huff. She fished out her one remaining basic Elixir of Healing and held it out for Fred. 

“This is … ?” The man asked, looking at the diminutive vial.

“Healing Elixir,” Mia said briskly before her calculating part could convince her to reverse course. “It’ll fix him up.”

“Oh … “ Fred gingerly took the vial, holding it between two fingers. “Right. I’ll … feed it to him then? Or do I just pour it over him?”

“Feed,” Mia said, turning away without another word and walking back over to Carmilla. The vampiress waited back where Mia had left her like an abandoned puppy, which earned the girl an amused chuckle from Mia. “What’s with you?”

“Eh?” Carmilla startled. “What? Nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Mhmmm,” Mia hummed, giving a slow nod. Whatever it was, the girl clearly didn’t want to say it so Mia relented despite her curiosity. “Can you tell me what that man did to them? And what you did to him to make him … like that?

“Primal Roar is a general ability most supernatural creatures with bestial characteristics have,” Carmilla said, latching onto the chance to change the subject. “They use it to establish dominance over the less powerful of their kind. Lars’ use of it … well, it sort of put the lot of them in a paralysing fear.”

“I didn’t feel anything like that though?” Mia mused.

“You have both Mind and Spirit over ten, don’t you?” Carmilla asked, though it was more of a statement. “He isn’t strong enough to affect you with it. As for what I did? Well, I just … established my dominance over him in a way he could understand.”

“You vampires have something similar to that Primal Roar of his?”

“Sort of,” Carmilla shrugged, glancing over at the still kneeling shifter. “It’s neither a Skill nor a Trait … but I can use the primal ferocity of my bloodline to dominate his.”

“Can I do that too?” Mia asked, curious. Her bloodline was supposedly kind of a big deal, wasn’t it?

“I don’t think so,” Carmilla said, her lips curling in amusement for a moment before being forcefully wiped off as the girl put on a nervous expression. “How do I say this? Your bloodline is … not the predatory kind needed for this sort of thing.”

“What kind is it then?” Mia asked, raising an eyebrow and Carmilla averted her gaze. Carmilla murmured something as a response, but not even Mia’s supernatural hearing could make out the words. “What was that?”

“Different,” Carmilla said a bit too quickly, and Mia was pretty sure that was not among the words she murmured. “The … opposite kind to predatory.”

“What?” Mia asked, sounding between dubious and affronted. Was this girl telling her Mia was the prey animal to her predator? “Prey?”

The thought sent a slight flush up her cheeks when she considered it that way, her heart stuttering as her overactive imagination spun out of her control.

I wouldn’t mind her hunting me. Mia mused, imagining the crimson haired beauty pushing her up against a tree with a ferocious grin on her pretty red lips.

“Sorry,” Carmilla said again, looking aghast at Mia’s reddened state. Probably thinking the halvyr was livid at the insinuation that she was anything less than dignified royalty. 

The moment, if there was one in the first place, was broken by the Sergeant coughing and cursing. He was healthy, though his eyes remained shut as he stood wobbly, helped up by Dumb and Dumber.

Perhaps a regular healing Elixir wasn’t quite enough to heal a pair of organs as finicky as the eyes. Or the process was still in progress and behind his shut eyelids, chunks of flesh were still shifting around to repair the damage.

“The Colonel will hear of this!” He said, voice belaying his barely contained rage. Mia felt momentarily stunned that he still had the guts to spout that after he got mangled. It was almost respectable, no, it was respectable.

I’d be sobbing in a corner, trying to forget the pain. Mia though, looking at the old soldier with what she hoped was an even expression. Still, she dignified his remark with a response. “As will he of the fact that you struck me first, the person you had been tasked to protect.”

“Arrogant bitch,” he cursed under his breath. “You think he’ll favour you? For what? You are obstructing a mission he gave himself, or is that bastard there not the beast we were supposed to put down?”

He pointed at Lars, who glowered at him in turn. The shifter seemed to be happy enough to sit around until stuff got handled by the two groups, but he clearly didn’t appreciate the Sergeant’s tone.

“He is also a witness, and a source of intelligence the Colonel had been desperately searching for,” Carmilla cut in, glaring at the soldiers. “Go, run and report back to your superiors. Your ‘protection’ was worthless anyway, you’d all be mangled corpses without the two of us.”

The soldiers glowered, only Fred having the decency of looking ashamed at the accusation. Still, it seemed the rest also managed to get it through their thick skulls that the two girls before them did the majority of the work today.

“So be it,” the Sergeant muttered, glaring at the two girls in turn. He turned. “They obstructed the mission, attacked us and then threatened us to leave. We can’t be held responsible for leaving them here and reporting the mission a failure. Let’s go.”

They ambled away, Gwen sending occasional glares back at them unil their forms got lost behind a wall of trees. 

“This’ll be trouble,” Mia said, glancing at Carmilla with some nervousness gracing her features. “I’d bet they’ll try to get a fireteam, or preferably a tank to take us into custody or just straight up gun us down the moment we get back to the city.”

“They can try,” Carmilla said, a cold glint dancing in her crimson eyes. Those two ruby gems seemed to glow in the twilight of the forest.

“Well, I doubt they’d be able to convince the Colonel,” Mia said, unconvinced by her own words. They were his soldiers after all, why wouldn’t he listen to their opinions over two civilian girls’? “I doubt he’d let them outright attack us anyways. And you said that man has something he needs, right? Is there something to that beyond just some basic info on that werewolf king?”

“There is,” Carmilla said, a gleeful trill entering her voice as she smirked at Mia. “Lars here told me the werewolf in question had recommended a specific tactic of getting by numerous times before he became the Alpha. Any guesses about it?”

“Nooo?” Mia said, a hint of curiosity apparent as she stared at Carmilla’s enthralling smile. 

“Chase the monsters on the hill into the city to cause a distraction,” Carmilla said, her grin widening. “And while the defenders are occupied, raid their stockpiles of food and water. Sounds familiar?”

A cold pit formed in Mia’s stomach, her eyes widening. The dozens of soldiers she’d seen get torn apart by the thorny vines of the Evergreen Marauders flashing before her eyes.

She had been wondering how the opportunistic assholes who raided the army’s food stores acted so fast, but it seemed they weren’t just quick to make use of a weakness in the army but knew of it in advance.

No, they made it happen. They, the werewolf and his lackeys, consigned dozens of men and women to their death and who knows how many more with depriving them of food.

“You think the Colonel will want to know about that?” Carmilla mused, sounding oddly thrilled about this new development.

“Yes,” Mia breathed, her voice shaking slightly. “Yes I think he would.”



Comments

I made a point that the soldiers as "individuals" are a liability. Not the military as a whole. Shooting an enemy that can heal the damage to the point it negates it, quite literally means your attack was ineffective. From what i read, the werebear's healing could not keep up with Mia or Carmilla damage. Furthermore, the Colonel recruiting Mia and her team was grounded in the logic that the military will eventually run out of ammo and heavy artillery, further hampering their combat effectiveness. Judging from the werebear and rift guardian fights, if the military took those fights alone without mia and her team, they wouldve lost. Having a team of fighters that can trust each other and have each other's back is by far one of the most important things. Considering this is second sergeant that Mia has dealt with and the last one got fired too, I don't have high hopes that conflict with the military can be avoided. Especially considering that there may be some anti human sentiment amongst the military that may come into play, as well as rank and file soldiers may just feel insecure by taking orders from civilians. Now that conflict can take on many forms, and I'm curious what the author does with it. However, I think some form of conflict is unavoidable. Lastly, Mia and Co. don't need to save all those people. The people are in threat due to the monsters, which are being spawned by the rifts. They don't have a logistic problem, the have a time bomb problem. They need to close the rifts before the monsters kill too many people. And unless the military has some A list team of delvers, mia and co. are probably the team or one of the teams that are going to be saddled to do it.

Devlon Stapleton

I do like how the will stat changes Mia as well I wasn't saying it was a bad choice just that it ruins the chance for more traditional character growth. Think Usopp from one piece or something, but the reason it should be rushed is because main characters rely on force of character to keep readers interested. And unfortunately will power, determination, initiative are all big parts of force of character. And what Mia lacks, it is why almost every other character in the series we have seen thus far would have been a better choice for MC and why I suggest the author to rush that increase so she can finally have it. Heck Mark had more charisma then Mia at times. And I still am more curious about Jeff. And now like you said Carmilia has more impact and is more interesting than Mia.

Kavi#404

About discipline, I agree that the sergeant was out of line and while it's possible that he is just the worst bargain bin soldier there is, I doubt he would have made sergeant if that was the case.

Stephanie Washburn

About war crimes.... They can happen regardless of the type of unit, and generalized abuse of power certainly happens. It's just that war crimes don't come naturally to most people and can be incredibly bad for morale.... Until some evil mix of circumstances, rhetoric, orders, culture, pride, and greed tip over into mass violence and all the breaks come off. Anyway it's a complicated subject that may be poorly understood.

Stephanie Washburn

To your more general point about wanting a conflict with the military... I might see fighting the overall general guy as interesting, but support from sensible officers like (I think it was) Colonel Ziegler will be really important to prevent Mia and friends from getting killed in the night. Their reputation among the rank and file is extremely important in order for them to operate as freely as they need to and in order for them to build working relationships and leadership skills with the soldiers they're going to be working with for the foreseeable future. Plus..... Isn't "the world collapses and then the military run survival camps become authoritarian hell holes" so common it is predictable?

Stephanie Washburn

Two points. 1. I cant say that I agree with you on the military aspect, however, I don't have personal experiences with it, so I won't labor the point. Be that as it may, the story has already shown that there may be a growing sentiment of anti human discrimination within the military, pair that with Mia being rude to them, as well as the stress of waking up in a panic, and you have the recipe for what happened as plausible. 2. I actually think the will attribute was a fantastic choice. Too many litrpgs have the characters increasing stats and it not affecting them, however, we can slowly see how Mia is changing and becoming a more assertive and determined person as her will stat increases. However, I will admit that if the story is suppose to establish Mia as some type of unique powerhouse, then that falls short of the mark currently. Too many other characters have more powerful offensive capabilities and appear more dominate on the battlefield. Additionally, despite the advances in her will stat, most every fight Mia still freezes/hesitates/panics and fails to do what's necessary. perhaps, the author is looking at more a long term character arc so who knows. But you're right, it isn't exactly clear right now why we following Mia rather than another character. In fact, Carmilla actually comes off as a more interesting and compelling character.

Devlon Stapleton

Considering they need 50,000 residents to survive, and the logistics and general guard duty and grunt work to make that happen, the military will be absolutely necessary. Just because Mia and friends are strong and good in teams does not mean they could functionally save society on their own. And if they tried to protect an enclave of farmers, ranchers, woodcutters, miners, and crafters on their own, they'd exhaust themselves really quickly and be unable to go after the kind of targets and growth opportunities they're best suited for. They need to be walking artillery and special forces and adventurers at the same time. And the bullets weren't ineffective, the guy had a healing factor so extreme he shrugged off Mia's spells.

Stephanie Washburn

I actually disagree. While I admit that Mia handled the interaction poorly, they don't need the military. In fact, the past few chapters proved that the military is pointless, and the individual soldiers are a liability. Mia has more to worry about being hurt by the soldiers then she does being hurt by monsters. She is more thoroughly protected by her original party. Their bullets were ineffective, they didn't stand in between the threat and their charges, and they ended up in a situation where the girls had to protect them rather than the other way around. Also, I like the idea of her going into conflict with the military in some way, I find that to be an interesting conflict to explore. But when you think about, if Mia and co. truly had to defend against the military, I highly doubt that would go well for the military and the colonel knows it.

Devlon Stapleton

I am not saying stuff never happens but when it does it isn't usually basic army, and it is usually to people outside your country of origin like you said. But for the regular army if you are told, hey your task is to protect these two individuals by a commanding officer you are going to lock in. Because if your I guess charge is the best word goes to your commanding officer and says "yeah they spent the entire time leering at me and put my life in danger multiple times" you are going to end up heavily punished, possibly in military court or straight up discharged, and not with honors. In a full military lock down? I wouldn't be surprised if some countries just shoot you. And to address SAS, I think those are usually special forces right? I won't deny reports of war crimes but I think for them it is even more unlikely for them to go against a direct order even if they are especially cruel to enemy combatants/civilians. Because yes real life conflict sucks and people will be people, but proper militaries as in not rebel forces, terrorist groups, etc. Are not going to trust you with expensive equipment if you do not do exactly as you say when you say it. And while SAS groups may commit warcrimes generally speaking no one is getting order to go SA this target or anything like that. Chemical weapons and other stuff like that maybe...

Kavi#404

Also really enjoying the story bit to add to this point, (and offer an alternate veiw I guess) I think Kavi offers an idealistic view of the military and there are likely many soldiers who do act according to orders and discipline but as a counter example, my own country's SAS have a pretty serious issue with warcrimes. I don't know how real you want to get but a lot of civilian abuse is done in secret or in small groups of co conspirators and is more often SA, theft of property, or just murder. And while I do think that arrogance and bullying your army is showing does happen in places around the world, it is probably less likely to be done to people who speak the same language, practice the same cultural norms and look (for the most part) similar to the soldiers themselves. An example of a slightly more nuanced approach could be the soldiers singling out more inhuman races for mistreatment. As a plot mechanism there is nothing wrong with having the military become a kind of antagonist, however I think it could be done in a slightly more believeable way. Really enjoying the story but saw Kavis comment and thought my 2 cents might be useful to you. No worries if not :3

Leviathon251

So I don't really get this chapter, military members especially sergeants are not civilians, they do not over react like this. Discipline is the foundation of literally every singly modern army. He nor the two soldiers should have been acting like 2 bit gangsters. Also this has been bugging me for a while but your plan with Mia seems off... So her bloodline to me should not come off as so weak. Like you have established there is some relationship to something strong enough to wipe out a demon king (who typically also rules vampires if they are not one) and you have also said it is fully awakened with the integration of the system. Like sure she will act as she will act but you have kind of set up her race to be something very noteworthy and powerful. And you are rapidly losing that to the point where randomly increasing it is going to come off as an ass pull. Like let me out it this way even if Carmilia is a descendant of someone at or around the demon kings level incredibly powerful it would still pale in comparison to what Mia seems to be related to. It doesn't make sense for Carmilia to get prey vibes from Mia it doesn't make sense for her to appear so much stronger I think the best thing you can do is give others a with sensitive races a similar thing that Mia felt with Jeff that his race was bad news/powerful/or scary. And because we are 45 chapters in I am going to say this. The whole will power doormate thing is a bad writing choice. Mia needs more initiative she is constantly looking to other characters for permission or a reason to proceed she does not come off as your main character. I get you want character growth but you have already given that up in favour of handwaving it by increasing her will stat so you may as well just speed it up and let her finally start making decisions again. Because the last time she did was choosing to leave Jeff's apartments. With all that said I very much like the story I want it to get better and you are doing a great job I hope you take this as constructive criticism as my intention is not to say you are a bad writer, simply that there are certain choices you have made with characters that do not make sense to me as a reader. But seriously with militaries I have personal experience with people being punished and intergoated over having a phone contact been named "Kitty" absolutely none of what those military guys went through would fly and that arrogance you have given them is literally beaten out of soilders from basic training onwards.

Kavi#404

I can't wait for the time these two stop dancing around eachother when they are so in love and are so perfect for each other.

ZephanyZephZeph

Interesting developments. And a poorly handled confrontation with that sergeant. For one thing, she didn't need to destroy the gun. For another, her elemental responded completely out of proportion with the sucker punch. The problem really isn't whether the girls did most of the work or not (though they did save the soldiers' lives and turned a target elimination into an interrogation). The issue is that the Sergeant overreacted to his sidearm being destroyed, failed to take in the changing situation, and then attacked the people he was tasked with protecting. But Mia escalated first and then responded poorly and with extremely disproportional force, and was dismissive about it, losing the faith of the halfway reputable soldiers. Mia will very likely need their support later on, or at least needs to avoid conflict with the professional element in the soldiery. That's a very dangerous trend to be starting. (I do think that crazy bear man is not safe at ALL.)

Stephanie Washburn


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