IDWTBTHQ Chapter 101 - Potty Break

Considering how much he used to suck at multitasking in his previous life, Marcus was genuinely impressed by his current skill in that department. Right now, he was simultaneously watching over an entire region, leading a dozen kill teams to their targets, having a conversation with Felix with his proxy body and even keeping his drone army on standby, all while sitting on a sofa and waiting together with the marquis to see what Trakk's scout had to say.

Not bad for someone whose friend jokingly called almost incapable of walking and talking at the same time.

That said, he couldn’t take too much credit for this improvement, as it was almost surely a result of his Vex nature. He was actually doing most things instinctively, without any real effort or thought put behind them. In fact, the only thing he was really focusing on right now was the goblin scout in front of him.  Arag, as the General had introduced him, looked like the sort of creature you'd see during an episode of sleep paralysis, a dark skinned, spider-like humanoid with a perpetual grin on its face which showed a myriad of needle-like teeth. That nightmarish appearance would have once thoroughly creeped Marcus out, but by now he was kind of used to it.

After all, he thought with chagrin, he did give birth to things that looked even more scary than that.

However, apart from his appearance, there was something else off about that goblin. For some reason, Arag's presence felt incredibly feeble to the Vex Queen's telepathic senses, to the point that even focusing as hard as he could he couldn't feel anything more than the faintest echoes of dull emotions coming from the scout. This was an impressive achievement indeed, as not even Hoggs was capable of shielding his mind to that extent. Because of this, he had no inkling about what kind of news Arag was bringing, and so he waited in anticipation like everyone else.

Trakk and the marquis were standing in front of the spider goblin besides Marcus, while the other people in the room gave them space.

“So...” The Goblin General said with a sardonic smile. “Let's hear what news you bring, Arag. And speak freely.” He gestured towards the other people in the room. “We are all allies here, so we shouldn't hide anything from each other.”

Marcus couldn't be completely sure, but he thought he had perceived a sarcastic note in the last phrase.

“I have much to report.” Arag said, his confident grin unchanging. “I have discovered many things about the Blue Terror, his plans and his forces, so if I tell you everything it might take a while. Do you want to hear the full tale or just a brief summary?”

“Let's go with the full report.” Trakk said, waving his hand. “Having a bit of context never hurts.”

“Very well then.” The spider goblin nodded. “I have been tailing the Blue Terror's movement for about a month and a half now. I followed him as he gathered his army and started marching north. During that time, I found out about the entity of the enemy forces. There are more than thirty thousands orcs under the Blue Terror's command, with around two hundred ogres leading them. Moreover, the orcs are also bringing a few thousand prisoners of other races with them, to serve as cattle to feed their army and for some other uses. Among these prisoners, there are two that are particularly noteworthy. They are Anak'si, also known as the Pale Matriarch, the arachne who used to rule over the Rantul, and Turemalac, also known as the Crimson Devil, the Piraca Emperor.”

Marcus raised an eyebrow at the word arachne. He recognized it, as it was spelled the same way as it was in his old world.

“I doubt anyone here knows Ovid, though.” He thought. “So where did that Greek name come from?”

He was about to ask about it, but Arag had resumed talking so he instead decided that his question could wait.

“About two weeks ago, the Pale Matriarch sent me a message tied to an arrow, in which she proposed an alliance against the Blue Terror in exchange for her freedom.” The spider goblin explained. “I decided to answer her call, sneaking into the camp in order to talk with her directly.”

He stopped talking for a moment, seemingly waiting to see how Trakk would react. But the Goblin General just smiled slightly and shrugged.

“Well, that was your call to make.” He said. “So, what happened then? I assume that it wasn't a trap, since you're alive and well. Did you free her?”

“No.” Arag replied. “It was too risky, and in her state she wouldn't have gone far anyway. The Blue Terror tore off half of her legs in order to prevent her from escaping. And he keeps doing that regularly to prevent her legs from growing back.” His smirk grew wider. “Luckily for us, that made her really hate him, so she agreed to give me information about him  in exchange for nothing but a vague promise to free her after the Blue Terror is defeated.” He made a pause and looked at both Trakk and Eisen. “Of course, since I’m just a subordinate it's up to you to decide what to do.”

“If you made a promise, then you should try to keep it.” The marquis said in a severe tone. “This is how we do things in a civilized and honorable society.”

“Quite so.” The General agreed, though once again Marcus picked a hint of irony in his words. “It’s always better to try and keep your word if possible. Anyway, what information did she pass to you?”

“She told me a lot of things.” Arag replied. “She and Turemalac are usually kept chained near the Blue Terror, so she could overhear most of what the oni discussed with his subordinates. However, I can’t be sure that everything she said is true, so do try to take it with a grain of salt.”

“We’ll do that.” Trakk assured him. “Now, tell me what she said.”

“Very well.” The spider goblin replied. “The first thing she told me was that she, the Crimson Devil and even the Blue Terror used to be humans from another world who have died and reincarnated in their current bodies with their memories intact. She said that she was just an ordinary girl, but she suspects that the Oni was some kind of soldier.”

Marcus almost jumped from his sofa in surprise at that revelation, and it was with extreme difficulty that he managed to restrain himself, though he still couldn't hide the shock from showing on his face. Luckily he wasn't the only one who looked absolutely stupefied, so his reaction went unnoticed... except for Klara, who exchanged a long stare with him.

The only one who didn’t seem overly surprised was Trakk, who just nodded calmly.

“That actually makes sense. The Blue Terror showed a knowledge of warfare that far surpasses what orcs are capable of, and I often wondered where he learned it, since there was no one who could have possibly taught him.”

“That’s not all though.” Arag continued. “She also told me that all three of them also possess special powers. The Piraca has some kind of divinatory power which lets him know the odds of future events happening, though it’s not completely reliable and it also takes a toll on him, so he can’t use that power too often.” His grin turned larger. “When I left the camp he was more dead than alive because the orcs had forced him to make three predictions in a row, and Anak’si told me that she doesn’t think he’ll be able to use his power any time soon.”

“Thank goodness for that.” Marcus muttered. “I can’t imagine being able to fight an opponent that can see the future.”

Trakk overheard him, and turned to the Vex Queen with a reassuring smile on his face.

“It would have indeed been rather difficult.” The Goblin General said. “But if what Arag said is accurate, it could have been done. Anyway, I agree with you. It’s a good thing that we don’t have to face that particular problem right now.” He turned back to Arag. “Now continue, please.”

“Very well, General.” The spider goblin replied. “Anak’si also said that the Oni seems to be able to absorb not only the aura, but also the memories of the creatures he eats alive. However she is not completely sure about this, as the Blue Terror never actually explained his ability out loud. She just guessed that this was his ability from observing him.” He paused for a moment, giving time for everyone to think about what he had said, and then, as no one was asking questions, he continued.  “Finally, the arachne herself claims that she has the ability to communicate with and control spiders. It was this ability that allowed her to find me even though I’m not, technically speaking, a spider. Anyway, the Oni doesn’t let her use this ability currently, as he doesn’t like the idea of her having some troops that are faithful to her. Instead, he uses her to turn wild animals into Rantul hybrids, which are much more filling as food for the orcs.”

“Wait a moment.” The marquis interrupted him. “Since the arachne’s powers seem to work on you, how do we know that you’re not being controlled by her?”

“An excellent question, milord.” Trakk said approvingly. “So, Arag? Do you have anything to say about that?”

“She claimed that she needed to physically touch a spider in order to control it, so I made sure to stay out of reach.” The scout replied in an imperturbable voice. “But if you’re not convinced, feel free to let one of your sorcerers inspect me.”

“That would be prudent.” The General nodded. “And we’ll do that as soon as you finish your report. Now, continue please. Is there anything else you discovered?”

“Yes.” The spider goblin replied. “Next, Anak’si told me about the Blue Terror's current plans, and how he came to make them. The oni learned that we were expecting him during his attacks against the outpost in the Ashwood Hills, when he ate a human and absorbed his memories. Then he consulted the Piraca Emperor, making him run three predictions in a row about the future of his campaign. As I said the Piraca almost died in the process, but the Blue Terror learned enough to decide to change his plans.” He nodded slightly towards Trakk. “Initially, as you predicted, he had planned to just invade Brettholz, hoping to take us by surprise, but the first prediction revealed to him that he only had a twelve percent chance of victory that way. Then he asked about the odds of defeating the troops in Brettholz if he had conquered a major human city beforehand, which were about seventy percent. And finally, he asked about the odds of him being able to conquer a city if he kept us occupied with raids while his forces moved to attack Grimdale, which were around ninety percent.” He made another pause, giving everyone else time to process this information, before adding: “And so, he made a new strategy around these predictions. He intends to keep our forces occupied with these raids while the orc army is moving to Grimdale, in case you didn’t get it from the predictions I just listed.”

Everyone remained silent for a few seconds, too surprised to speak up, but then, all of a sudden, Eisen suddenly started talking.

“Wait a second!” The marquis protested. “Even if what you said it's true, which I find rather debatable, there is still no way for the orc army to reach Grimdale without passing through Brettholz. Or are you going to claim that these orcs can fly next?”

“No, I am not.” The scout replied drily. “Though the Blue Terror can fly, his subordinates do not share this ability. And they don't need it either, because they can reach Grimdale unseen by passing through Fendel's Mines.”

The nobleman suddenly froze, and Marcus could feel a weird mix of confusion, realization and doubt coming off him. Judging by those emotions, he seemed to know what Arag was talking about, and had become worried because of it, like someone suddenly remembering that they had left the stove on after departing for a long trip. The name Fendel’s Mines didn’t tell anything to the Vex Queen though, and he wondered what kind of place it was. He was about to ask about it, but the Goblin General preceded him.

“Fendel's Mines.” The goblin mumbled. “I've never heard about such a place before. Do you know about it, milord?”

“Yes.” Eisen replied, sounding a bit lost in his thoughts. “They are an ancient mining complex located in the Caligare Forest, south of Hunter's Den. It was once one of the biggest mines in the Empire, but it was abandoned during the Zaru invasion.”

“Interesting.” The General said. “And to your knowledge, do those mines offer a way to reach Grimdale?”

“Well... they did once.” The marquis replied hesitantly. “There should still be a secondary entrance on the other side of the Ashen Mountains.” He paused and then added with more confidence: “But all of the passages that connected the two sides have long since collapsed, so presently the answer to your question is no. There is no way to reach Grimdale through the mines.”

“Are you sure?” Trakk insisted.

“Yes.” The nobleman nodded. “I actually sent a few men to inspect the mines a couple of years ago. I hoped to reopen them, since by all accounts they were far from exhausted when they were abandoned.”  He smirked. “Sadly, the cost of making them operational again was too high, so I had to give up. All of the worthwhile veins were far too deep and most of the tunnels that led to them had collapsed, including the passage to Grimdale.”

As the marquis finished speaking, he seemed a little more calm, though Marcus could still feel some doubt beneath that confident surface. However, just as the atmosphere in the room started to cool down, Hoggs suddenly jumped from his chair, sending off a veritable wave of uneasiness.

“By the heavens!” The telemancer cried. “Jones!”

The marquis raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“The telemancer we lost when the orcs attacked the Ashwood Hills outpost?” He asked. “What about him?”

“He was part of the expedition sent to examine the mines!” The old man replied. “The oni must have learned about the mines from him! He spent weeks with the prospectors down in the mines, and he often joked about having got to know the mines better than his own home!” He paused for a moment while everyone looked at him, and his face grew pale. “If the oni did indeed absorb his memories, then he may have actually found a way to traverse the mines!”

“Correct.” Arag said, his voice completely devoid of any particular emotion. “According to Anak'si, the Blue Terror spoke of a path that would lead to Grimdale. He said that it was obstructed, but that it could be quickly made traversable again, which is why he's bringing a host of kobolds with him.”

“That makes sense.” Trakk nodded. “Kobolds are very skilled diggers and engineers. If there is anyone that can repair that tunnel, that's them.”

“Indeed.” The spider goblin replied. “That seems to be their plan.” He paused for a moment, and then finally said: “ That was all Anak'si told me. After that, I left her and I started heading north, to reach Brettholz before the orc army could.” He paused and then added, this time with some annoyance. “However, I had some trouble while passing through the Ashwood Hills. After the dragon died a number of other creatures moved in, and they made crossing their territory extremely dangerous.” He shook his head in disgust. “I had to spend three days running away from a particularly stubborn pack of Nightwolves, and after that I finally managed to reach Goblinia, and then came here after learning that Trakk had left.”

Arag finished his report like this, and a deafening silence filled the air as everyone was busy processing the information they had just received. Marcus, however, had been particularly shaken by one specific piece of news.

“I’m sorry.” He asked. “But… when you said that the dragon in the Ashwood Hills died, did you mean the King of the Ashwood Hills?”

“Yes.” The scout replied.

“And how did it die?”

“It seems that the Blue Terror killed it.”

“Ah.” The Vex Queen said, as a shiver ran down his spine. All of a sudden, he found himself wishing he had made more Destroyers. At least a hundred of them, just to be sure.

As his uneasiness grew, he suddenly noticed everyone around him getting visibly restless. A couple of servants had gotten pale and looked on the verge of fainting, while the guards were gripping their weapons nervously.

“Guess this news really got to them.” He thought. “Can’t blame them, really. An enemy strong enough to defeat a dragon, and also capable of absorbing memories and reading the future! It’s already impressive that they’re not running away screaming!”

“Sir Marcus?”

Hearing his name getting called, he turned and saw that Hoggs had approached him, his face pale.

“Yes Hoggs?” He asked.

“You may want to keep your aura under control.” The old telemancer whispered. “You are kind of upsetting everyone in the room… and probably in the entire village.”

The Vex Queen blinked in surprise, and realized that he had dropped his focus after hearing about the dragon, letting his thoughts (and aura) go unbridled.

Feeling extremely ashamed, he quickly got a hold of himself, reining in his emotions, and after a few seconds the people in the room got more relaxed once again.

“Sorry.” He said under his breath to Hoggs. “I got distracted for a moment.”

“It’s quite understandable.” The old man reassured him. “Besides, you’ve done really good so far. You managed to restrain your aura to tolerable levels for days, so I’d say a few hiccups here and there are perfectly acceptable.”

“Thank you.” Marcus nodded. “So, do you think that I’d be able to visit a city now?”

Hoggs hesitated for a moment, but then shook his head.

“That would be premature.” He replied. “As I said, your aura right now is tolerable but it’s still extremely noticeable. You might want to practice a little more before mingling with other people.”

“Alright.” The Vex Queen sighed, looking quite dejected for a moment.

“Well, if it’s of any consolation, you’ve made great progress so far!” The old man said. “It won’t be long before you can actually visit populated settlements.”

“Fine.” Marcus said.

Hoggs seemed about to add something else, but then Trakk, who had spoken with the marquis until a second ago, turned towards the room and started addressing everyone.

“Our course of action is clear.” He announced. “We first have to confirm the news we've just received. Until then, making any drastic decision would be premature.” He turned towards the marquis. “Milord, could you send a scouting party to inspect Fendel’s Mines? If what Arag said is true, the orc army should still be there, or at least it should have left traces of its passage.”

“I'll do that immediately.” The nobleman replied, turning to a guard to give the orders.

“Excellent.” The goblin nodded. “Then, we ought to warn Grimdale of the possible danger. We should tell them to prepare for the possibility of an invasion.” He paused and turned to Hoggs: “By the way, have you already contacted Captain Harp?”

“Yes.” The telemancer confirmed. “We’ve called him as soon as the orcs were sighted, and he promised that he’d be here in a week at most. Which means that he should be here by tomorrow.”

“Then call him and tell him to stay in Grimdale.” Trakk said. “We have enough military might in Brettholz to hold our own for a while, while Grimdale is completely unprepared for an attack. He’s more useful there.”

The General kept speaking, giving orders left and right, and the marquis followed suit, confirming the goblin's instructions and giving some of his own. The atmosphere in the room quickly changed, as the worry and fear dissipated while the people focused on their jobs.

Marcus actually noticed it, and he felt somewhat impressed at the skill displayed both by the human and the goblin. He had served under a few different bosses in his previous life, but having such capable leaders was something that happened rarely.

On that side of things, he felt confident that Trakk and Eisen could come up with a good plan to fight the orcs. However, there was a small detail that kept bugging him, and he decided that he needed some advice on how to face it.

Luckily, the only person he could speak about it with was in the room with him. The only thing he needed was some privacy, to make sure he wasn’t overheard.

He got up from his sofa, called Cooper who immediately came at his side, and started speaking.

“Well, excuse me for a moment, gentlemen, but I really need to go to the bathroom.” He announced while getting out of the sofa. “Would you show me the way, Klara?”

He tried to give a peculiar inflection to that question, to stress out that he really wanted her to come with him. Luckily, she seemed to understand immediately.

“Sure.” The girl replied, getting up from her seat as well. “Come with me.”

Together, the two walked out of the room, leaving some of the men in there wondering, not for the first time, why women had this inexplicable urge to go to the bathroom in groups.

Klara led Marcus to the first floor, to a secondary bathroom right next to the bedrooms. It was really cramped, with just a wooden toilet and a sink, but it was far enough from the dining room that no one would hear them talking after they closed the door. For added security however, Marcus did leave Cooper outside of the door, to make sure no one would eavesdrop on them.

“I take it you want to talk about what that creepy goblin said about the reincarnated people, right?” Klara asked immediately.

“Yes.” The Vex Queen replied. “It's just... Well, it was a surprise for sure.” He paused for a moment before adding: “And I don't know what to make of it. And I don't know what to do about it either. Do I tell the marquis and the others that I have been reincarnated from another world as well?”

The girl studied him for a moment before shaking her head.

“I don't think that would be prudent.” She said. “There are always some idiots who get prejudiced towards people who share similarities with their enemies.” She made a sad smirk. “Even Felix had some problems in the past because of his Djinni ancestry. So no, I don't think you should tell them, at least for now.”

“But what if I cause some kind of trouble by withdrawing that information?” The Vex Queen protested. “I mean, by knowing about my world, the General and the others could get some insight on the Oni's plans.”

The girl thought about it for a second, and then nodded.

“Maybe.” She conceded. “As long as you tell only the marquis, it should be fine.” She smirked and added: “However, I don't know if your knowledge of your world will prove useful. I mean, you were a civil engineer, not a soldier. How much do you know about your world’s warfare?”

“Well… I do know of a few tactics from famous battles.” He said. “I did like studying history, and the history of my world is full of wars and conflict.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be enough.” Klara replied. “Learning about battles from a history book is quite different from actually leading it on the field. Besides, that pompous goblin seems to be good enough not to fall for any cheap trick.” She paused and then asked: “Also, how can you be sure that the Oni and the others are actually from your world? They could be from a different world entirely.”

“Yeah... that might be true.” Marcus nodded. “But it’s weird. The spider goblin said that they were humans before reincarnating. How many worlds could there be with humans in them?” He paused for a second as he remembered something and then shook his head. “Oh right, infinite ones. I almost forgot about the multiverse theory.”

“What is the multiverse theory?” The girl asked.

“Oh, it’s a scientific theory from my world. It’d take a long time to explain it, but basically it says that there are infinite variations of the same world.” He smirked. “Anyway, according to it you might be right. The oni and the others could come from a different world than mine.”

“That would also explain why the Oni is so different from you.” Klara said. “I mean, from what you told me your world seems rather civilized, and I can’t imagine civilized people eating other humans alive without provocation.”

Marcus’s smirk turned sour in response.

“I’d love to agree with you, but sadly there are some really bad people in my world.” He said. “I probably described my world too positively. Only part of it is civilized, and we still have a lot of poverty, wars and things like that. Even the place where I used to live, which was relatively civilized, still had its underworld of criminals, madmen, lawyers and all kinds of assorted scum.”

“Fair enough.” Klara said. “I guess some people always suck, no matter the world they are in.” He paused and studied the Vex Queen for a moment. “Do you miss it? Your world I mean.”

Marcus hesitated a moment before answering, as this question suddenly caused him to feel a wild turmoil inside of his chest. However, mindful of his earlier psychic outburst, he quickly calmed himself down.

“I... well, there are some things I miss about it.” He replied. “But I can’t go back there, so it’s useless to dwell on those thoughts. Besides, I’m doing fairly well here. I’ve got a lucrative job, friends and I’m actually making a difference, while in my old world I used to be just a random nobody.” He smirked. “Guess I’ve not too much to complain about.”

“I’m glad you feel like that.” Klara smiled. “Still, if you ever want to talk about it, feel free to reach out to me.”

“Sure.” The Vex Queen nodded. “Though maybe now it’s not the best of times.” Then, with a rather embarrassed expression, he added: “Speaking of which… would you mind leaving me alone for a minute? I didn’t notice it before, but I actually do need to use the bathroom.”

“Oh, sure.” The girl said. “It’s a good thing you’re already here then!”

She opened the door and got out.

“I'll be waiting for you in the dining room with the others.”

“Sure.” The Vex Queen replied, as the door was closed. He then studied the wooden seat of the toilet, and sighed in resignation.

“Well, I guess that one thing I really miss about my world are bathroom fixtures.” He thought. “Wood feels terribly unsanitary when compared to ceramic, for some reason.”

However, not having any alternative, he sat down and took care of his business before returning to the others.