The Menzis are lonely,...should we care?
Added 2022-08-22 21:41:57 +0000 UTC
Comments
Brilliantly put Mellow.Mystical!! Thank you for sharing and “rambling” here!! What you said seems very coherent to me and I agree that anti-red pill narratives are needed. I do disagree that that perspective is not already adequately represented (though additional representation is only a good thing and a welcome thing), though I think those adding to the anti-manosphere narrative are not necessarily as good at attracting a young male cis het audience, because they don’t outwardly and overtly seem to appeal in a clear (and safe—masculinity can be fragile until the differences between toxic and healthy masculinity are well understood) way to that audience.
Sean Bartel
2022-08-23 16:16:30 +0000 UTCThis is going to be rambling, and my opinion is probably biased, but… As an unattached, single male who is looking for romance(though not((at least as far as I am aware introspectively)) lonely due to a robust friendship/familial network), yeah I think we(as a societal collective) should care; we should care about anybody and everybody being lonely. Now, beyond the title…. I think we are in an era of cis-het presenting men being tossed into the deep end of the pool of having to learn very abruptly, and without any real compassion or empathy, that we have to take care of ourselves. And this seems to be ESPECIALLY true in the Black community. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. That we cannot ignore our mental and emotional state, and that we need to be aware of, and in tune with those aspects, but ONLY BECAUSE we are alone, without community, without love(by any definition), and in competition with everyone around us. I think that this is a potential reason as to why a lot of red-pill/manosphere content creators are thriving; because there are not as many visible male alternatives, and those alternatives are fighting against the deeply ingrained idea that masculinity, and we as men MUST be hard to survive. This seems to make a lot of those speaking against red pill/manosphere content unappealing as those alternatives promote that you need to NOT be, what 'history' and everything else in the world seems to be pushing you to be. I think that during this shakeup era, a lot of men will be lost as they struggle with finding themselves amongst all of that while simultaneously underutilizing(for a variety of reasons) most of the tools that our modern society provides to try and get us to the right place… i.e., therapy. I think that the end of the “nuclear family” concept as the only viable/worthwhile visualization of a “family” is good, especially in our late-stage capitalistic world. I think that more communal living and use of resources is good, needs to be embraced and promoted, and that these things are not mutually exclusive with, or diametrically opposed to, the idea of monogamy, which I think a lot of men still want, despite it, seemingly, not being so much in vogue. I just think a lot of people are not actively thinking about the "It takes a village" concept anymore. I think a lot of what has been the face of feminism is a double-edged sword. You have a prominent section of vocal women online(whether outspoken as being feminist or not) stating that we, cis-het presenting men, are trash, liars, abusers, disingenuous, ignorant, unemotional, poor, DL, mama’s boys, etc… And then another prominent section saying we have literally no value unless we make $~160k, and can provide all the decadent lifestyle of the rich, at which point we become Kings to be worshiped and who should bask in our masculine energy of being a leader and provider…. WHILE ALSO being told by other prominent, “successful” men who present as being outwardly attractive to women, that not only is the latter true, but even with that, no one will genuinely love you, and as a result you need to commodify yourself and others. And then on top of that others who claim to be more progressive going, "Yeah, well, men who were not you set this whole thing up, so tough luck and deal with it." As to a solution, I think it already exists, but just needs more traction and frankly just more time; more men in that outspoken anti-red pill/manosphere realm, and getting those men to be more visible and prominent. This is in addition to checking in on, and creating more space for men in everyone's lives to be vulnerable and open and loved, and to reciprocate those things.
Mellow.Mystical
2022-08-23 07:12:36 +0000 UTCYes!! I have found that men—even (maybe especially?) men attracted to other men as I am—are not comfortable being open and vulnerable, or sharing anything real about what they think may be perceived as even a temporary weakness. As a cis gay dude I’ve found several friends, of several genders, who have told me “you are so good at connecting with people and keeping people in harmony”—yes at first I took this as a compliment, but after a few times hearing it from different people it’s like “yes, I do make the conscious effort to encourage honesty, sharing and comfort; but guess what: you have the exact same superpower to make the conscious choice to show your feelings and stifle aggressive reactions and build trust.” Frankly it’s not mysterious or even difficult to encourage kindness, but because this type of behavior is seen as “feminine” it is discouraged. And to the main point of your video I agree that this is deeply sad. I do wish I was good at sharing the viewpoint you presented in a way that doesn’t feel like I’m trying to change someone. This is why I try so hard to work on myself, because I can only truly change myself… I am hopeful I can encourage change in others by leading by example and I do think this method has longer-term impact, but it is also slower and more difficult. Your channel really makes me think the effort is worth it though. Thank you so much, for making the effort and for sharing your methods, sources and thoughts. Also: I truly love the set, the lighting, and the vibe of playful openness! You definitely still seem authentically you (at least the limited you that you have shared with the public) while at the same time you seem to be exploring your identity and I f*cking love that you feel comfortable enough to do that publicly—some people get to be way, way older before they even begin to test the boundaries of what they allow themselves to be, let alone stop giving a 💩 about what the haters say. I hope you enjoy your break, spend time with people you love (including time for you) and come back with just more you being you. In case you were wondering, that’s always enough. (Let’s be real too though, I have no idea how to monetize being authentic and helpful to society—it definitely appears easier to get rich by being toxic—but we all know, even the folks behaving with toxicity, that doing the right thing for the right reasons is not only apparent in the moment but that it has a better effect on the world around us and within us.) ❤️
Sean Bartel
2022-08-23 03:49:26 +0000 UTC
