I've got a lot of compassion...however...
Added 2022-08-27 00:06:58 +0000 UTCI'm just rambling on here...
Comments
Rami I agree with a lot of your points. I’m a fellow gay dude here and let me start off with this: gay men are no more a monolith than any part of the queer community, or any part of any community. That said, I’ve been through trauma, and hurt by people close to me, both family and friends. I’m lucky to still be close to most of them, but some I wish the best for but I cannot allow them access to or participation in my life any more due to their toxic behavior plus the lack of any effort on their part to improve how they treat themselves or others. I agree that the effort to improve our inner and outer worlds is extremely difficult, and exhausting. I also feel strongly that the effort is worth it. We all need to take time to recuperate from time to time, but then we all need to contribute in whatever way we can. I don’t see this effort as a fight, because in the ideal outcome we all win. I do see this as life or death, for a lot of us—and I do get that the fear can be justified. I view my life in a way that honors acting toward improving my and others’ lives more than life for the sake of living. I’m not saying anyone should risk their lives daily, and I truly want everyone including myself to live long, full, joyous lives and to contribute their love to the world for as long as possible—but I don’t think death is something to be feared. Fear is a tool of manipulation. I know a lot of life throws fear at you, but I’ve seen the little old white dude behind the curtain. He knows how to make a lot of noise, but he’s more scared than anybody. The most important and helpful thing you can do is to be the best version of you. The effort to make the world around and within you a better place is a worthy one, and you are not alone. ❤️
Sean Bartel
2022-08-27 22:38:23 +0000 UTCI, can at best, only empathize with the frustration of bad faith commentary. I don’t envy the commentary girlies. I am a man, who was socialized as a man (the caveat is I’m a gay man so we’re already deemed as less masculine and more feminine by some arbitrary standard). Most spaces dedicated to men expressing their frustration somehow find roots in misogyny when it really doesn’t have to be that way. I am not a heterosexual man so I can’t speak to their experience, but the pressure to be “a man” is a lot. You have to be financially successful, be able to take care of an entire family, be able to carry on the legacy of your family/surname, not complain, not be weak. We internalize all of it. There’s a part of me still to this day that refuses to let anyone see me down (read: emotional). It’s almost like I have more to prove. It’s all so little and so large. Little as in, I’m expected to do the heavy lifting at work, and large in that I’m supposed to achieve success without struggle and without help. Entirely on my own. Y’all (society in general) groomed us to be detached assholes. Asking us to be compassionate and “do the work” is a farce. We’re just as messy and just as complicated, but we know (from observation) that being vulnerable and messy is not rewarded in any capacity, so back to our shell we retreat. I rarely ever speak on it because I know it will be met with bad faith criticism and it only proves the point that men are expected to become better on their own with little resources (I’m in therapy so they definitely has helped me but it was a struggle to even get to that point). The problem is, a lot of these *heterosessual* men are actually violent and that’s scary. The gays don’t kill each other the way straight men kill and physically abuse. That’s a serious problem and I don’t know how to fix that.
Rami
2022-08-27 19:57:49 +0000 UTCWhen wielded by gifted hands , “compassion” can be a powerful weapon . Thank you for “knighting” us all , whether some liked it or not . We’ll be better for it eventually 🙏🏿❤️
RJ
2022-08-27 18:09:09 +0000 UTC
