Someone Borrowed, Someone Blue

A different story from the idea of the jewelry that inspire the Halloween story- this version is the brainchild of my forever writing-partner.  

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Sunbeams fell warmly onto her skin and made everything on the bed seem to glow. Some of that may have been an overly romantic wish, but for one thing- maybe. 

The moment stretched. Karina felt herself drinking in the intense feeling of calm and happiness. It was a lovely departure from the hectic misery the past few months had brought. She had been fairly certain the stress was going to end her last week. And then she would have to beg forgiveness from her grave for wasting the down-payment her parents had made for the venue.

She’d waited for this day for a long time. Or perhaps it just had just felt that way- time both slips through your fingers and weighs down your feet. It felt right to think it, at least. 

The dress, the elaborate shoes, the ceremony… it felt like reliving her Quinceañera. The comparison made her feel an old thrill. But now the dress was white, and no shoes would be exchanged. (Unless those beautiful heels started to hurt partway through the reception).  

She liked the ceremony of celebrating the transitions. From girl to woman, from woman to wife- it was almost too perfect to linger on. Except that she absolutely was going to savor it wherever she could, it had been far too much work not to enjoy it. It had been stressful as hell to plan, even with an incredibly supportive family helping every step of the way. 

She sat down on the bed and ran her fingers over the delicate lines of beading covering her dress in dozens of silvery peonies. For just a moment, she wondered how many there were. Thousands? Probably. That would be something she could think about or count if she got too nervous during the ceremony. The pressure made her feel a little ill. More than one person was relying on her.

The dress slid easily over her satin slip, which felt remarkable because it felt like it weighed more than her car with all the beading and skirt tiers. Karina zipped it up as much as she could on her own, balancing carefully on her heels so as not to tear the delicate fabric. 

Checklist? Her hair was done, her makeup was already on, her nails were nice. The heels that made her legs look great were on. It was a pity, in a way, nobody could see how amazing her legs looked under the dress, but it was always more about her confidence than about whether her grandmother could tell she’d been really focused in her kickboxing class. That was almost everything, right? She looked nice and no underwear was hanging out anywhere. 

...Was it?  

She checked again, to make sure her slip wasn’t hanging out or that part of her gigantic ball-gown wasn’t somehow stuck in her underwear. It seemed improbable but she had been known to have a clothing mishap or two. Sometimes. Last week.

She felt a little like she was going to be sick. Which made her feel gross.

'Is my breath actually bad, or am I being paranoid?'

...She was going to be great to kiss today, she could tell.

Jewelry was the last thing to do before she knocked on the door to have her mother zip her the rest of the way up. 

She chose the necklace first, for the ceremony of it. The metal provided a comforting weight on her chest and provided a substantial amount of glitter to her already blinding ensemble. The earrings were more understated, included mostly because she felt she looked too childish without them. 

The engagement ring was already attached to her wedding band, but she still felt vaguely vulnerable without it. It would be good to have it back in an hour or so- she sometimes had found herself staring at an empty hand and panicking during the last day or two without it. No, she hadn’t been dumped or gotten cold feet and ran off to start a new life in Connecticut. It was perfectly normal. All perfectly normal.

She breathed in as deeply as she could in a fitted ball-gown and stared down the last piece of jewelry she needed to wear. It was exhilarating and comforting to be able to wear it again, but she felt a wistfulness this time. It was the last time she’d ever get to wear it, and the memories from the last time were so strong. 

She picked it up with both hands, feeling the need for some ceremony even without an audience. It didn’t feel like as much as it was, it felt like an airy, delicate thing woven from silver and lightly adorned with what was likely paste for diamonds. It would be incredibly rude to ask or get verified, though, so she’d always stifled that bit of curiosity.

Karina delicately slid the tiara through the mass of hairspray, pins, and hope that was her hair today. With any luck, all of that would keep it on for the whole day. It would be awkward to have to take it off to adjust it. 

'If I have to, I'll ask the officiant to help me and make a show of it. At least it would make for memorable photos.'

The accompanying heady and warm feeling almost immediately filled her brain and extended out to her fingertips, then down to her eternally cold toes. It buoyed her up on a wave of comfort and self-possession she could only ever imitate on her own. 

‘Hello, again.’ 

The weather was, luckily, as sunny as the forecast had predicted. Row after row of family members from both sides shifted in their seats and tried to protect their wedding programs and hair from any wayward winds. The flowers waved and bowed in the light breeze, wafting their scents through the summer air. 

Naomi went first. The piano music struck the agreed upon chord and Naomi sailed up the other aisle. She had gone with more natural adornments- flowers, compared to Karina's jewels. She felt her heart rise into her throat and blinked down tears. 

'Oh my god, she's perfect. I get to marry her. It doesn't even make sense.'

Naomi stopped walking just as her music ended. She looked like a nature queen when she turned to face the crowd. The backlighting made her soft hair into a halo, a curly crown.

'There are going to be pictures of this. I'm going to put that picture in the entryway.'

The was perfect. And once the sick feeling in her stomach receded, she was sure she’d remember it that way. 

The music had gone silent. The audience slowly turned to look at her. Oh. 

It was her turn, and her legs did not seem interested in participating. It felt like she was standing on two concrete pillars with big ridiculous numb feet. She was going to be a disaster. All she had to do was walk down the uneven ground of that line where all her friends and family would be watching her. In high heels and a dress so long that she couldn't see her feet.

'I'm going to fall,' Karina knew. 'I'm going to fall on my face while everyone I know is watching.'

The music started. She needed to start walking but she was going to put her heel in a hole and fall and the wedding video would not hit the right notes and the ceremony would just not recover any dignity and Naomi would be so-

Suddenly she felt comforting warmth as a force not her own straightened her spine, pulled her bouquet up from her hips and up to her chest, and forced her knees to bend. She was propelled with graceful purpose up to and past the last row of guests, head held high, towards her beloved future wife and the officiant at the end. 

'Thank you,' she thought, glad that she did not have a chance to flub things up.

The response felt like a laugh, warm and friendly.

The delay had been noticed by one person. Laughing brown eyes met hers, and Naomi winked with the eye that was further from the audience. They exchanged vows under the relative shade of a wisteria tree just like she’d pictured. As the ceremony proceeded she felt the nausea begin to fade away, and she began to support herself again. 

The control receded willingly but slowly, like her father’s hand on her arm when she’d learned to roller skate. She wasn’t alone, but her body was fully hers by the time she leaned over to kiss her now-wife. Karina closed her eyes and felt Naomi’s warm lips on hers. When she breathed in, she smelled her perfume intermingled with the scent of flowers. She reveled in the moment. She wanted to stay in that second forever. 

And then Naomi bumped her nose with her own. When Karina opened her eyes, her wife pulled back enough just to smile at her. 

They were practically pushed into the car that would take them to the reception hall. Events were completely out of her hands from here, because her mother had taken over the wedding plans. She felt like an over-frosted cupcake, crammed into the back of a limo with her wife and both of their enormous dresses. 

It was a surreal sensation, to know someone or something else was watching from behind your eyes. And what was she thinking? 

Supposedly the presence was a “she”, anyway. The family legend was that it was some long- deceased relative of some sort, who no longer had a name. It was probably a person, at any rate. Or had been.

The presence watched throughout speeches, toasts, and the entire dinner. It prickled in the nerves behind her sockets, keeping them almost wide open. It was obvious that it wanted to see everything. Sometimes it seized temporary control to try foods- and didn’t know how strong it was. It had grabbed a knife earlier and hadn’t noted how white her knuckles turned or what had turned into extreme pain- there were small indentations in the knife handle. She tucked it under the plate away from Naomi and made eye contact with her mother. Hopefully she’d whisk it away before anyone really noticed it, because whatever lived in the tiara was not… when she was in control, sometimes your body would do things that it actually wasn't capable of doing. 

There had been warnings of that, of course. And something similar had happened the last time Karina had worn the tiara. It was just an inconvenience the women in her family faced for the blessings it bestowed. And it felt like there was something sacred about having this experience, a secret shared with her mother and aunts and grandmother and women who she had never even met. 

It was tradition and also something more.

The afternoon wore on into early evening, when the first of a thousand little payments had to be made.

She was almost knocked back, out of control of her body, when the lighting changed and the music started. It was almost a shame Karina had bothered to take (and pay for) all those preparatory dance classes, because she wasn’t going to need them. The ghost was a superb dancer, graceful and very conscious of space and the utility of Karina’s long limbs. 

Mambo No5 was playing when Mark and Lamar started half-yelling at each other on the dancefloor.

“What,” Naomi said under her breath. She sighed. “I don't want to deal with that. Come on, boys.”

Karina glanced over, feeling her body become wholly hers again as she focused on the argument. The spirit crackled red in her mind's eye, deeply unhappy about the interruption.

She heard Mark first, because his voice was louder.

“-ake four days off of work, and they need me back there. We should go home, tonight.” Mark crossed his arms. “I tried, but come on, babe.”

“Let's just have a good time,” Lamar cajoled. He glanced around and seemed mortified that Karina was looking over him. He dropped his voice and leaned his head into his boyfriend's chest.

Naomi's mom and one of her aunts had turned at the raised voices and gathered near.  

Well. They would take care of whatever was going on. Karina relaxed. Mamno No 5 turned into a waltz.

'I hope they can stay, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if Mark had to go back early for work. Well, it would be hard to find another housesitter at this point. Would Lamar stay alone? Should I ask my cousins, just in case?'

She really wasn't sure what to do. One of Naomi's cousins stole her away for a dance, so she looked back at the lovebirds. Mark had settled on the sidelines with a cigarette and was working his way through a beer. Maybe he didn't like to dance.

Her feet were moving. She just accepted this reality and was distantly interested to see what her body would do. Karina had gone ten feet before she understood that she was inviting Lamar to dance. He gave her a sheepish smile and agreed. He took her in a gentlemanly manner- and then the music changed to the chicken dance.

The family spirit fled completely to her jewels, too dignified to shake her butt. But Karina wasn't too proud to flap her wings and quack.

It was nice to see Lamar outright laugh. She didn't see him much- he’d begged off out of most other family engagements due to the distance and occasional, ill-timed illnesses. Maybe Canada was a little too cold for him? To be honest, she didn’t know him as well as the rest of Naomi’s family. But she thought that he used to be more confident than he was right now. 

'It might be some pressure for him to be at his older sister's wedding,' Karina considered. She made sure to smile at him a lot. 'His family probably expects him to be next.'

The evening went by in a whirlwind of twisting bodies, cake, and festivities. Karina and Naomi both threw bouquets because they were glorious and tacky like that, and fed each other pieces of the amazing vanilla bean cake with raspberry filling that they’d spent so much of their wedding budget on. It was, unreservedly, the most beautiful and perfect day of her life so far.

The ghost had receded mostly and had returned to being a silent observer of all things matrimonial by late evening. They piled back into the limousine with the knowledge that their dresses had bits of sugar flowers and frosting all over, and had the driver take them straight to the drive thru of their favorite fast food place. Eating burgers in white dresses was a logistical challenge that involved leaning forward the whole time they had the sandwiches in hand. The whole thing was so dumb and glorious that Naomi laughed until she cried. 

In the privacy of their home, they washed their hands and then carefully shed the wedding dresses and practically fell into bed. They wouldn’t leave for their honeymoon to Hawaii until tomorrow, so…

The tiara sat on a nearly reverential spot on the dresser with the accompanying necklace and earrings. It seemed to glimmer even in the darkened bedroom, and she felt all the calmer for it being there.  

Naomi caught her looking at it and propped herself up in bed with a sigh. “You know, you can still take it to your mom's house if you're gonna worry,” she pointed out. “I mean, it'll be fine with Mark and Lamar staying here. But if you'd be more comfortable...”

Karina bit her lip and snaked her arms under the pillow. “No,” she decided regretfully. “I don't want to go over there now, and I definitely won't want to run another errand in the morning. It'll be fine.”

“Yeah, Lamar is a good kid.” Naomi leaned over the side of the bed to plug her phone in. “Did you set an alarm or should I?”  

They left for the airport the next morning with high hopes and far too many bags. Lamar drove them to the airport alone- evidently Mark wasn’t ready to wake to the world at the early hour of 11 am. Which was fair, actually. Karina was not a fan of the morning hours either. 

Lamar was a morning type of guy. Karina knew this because he kept up a happy stream of chatter for the whole ride, even though the brides were too groggy to be great conversationalists.  

“You both looked amaaaazing yesterday,” he crooned over the sound of traffic, “I loved the dresses. And I see you were allowed to wear the family jewelry, my new beloved sister in law. You were stressed about that, right?”

“Mmmm,” she fiddled with her phone, checking their flight time and ticket information yet again. “I was worried I would break them all night- but nothing happened. And now I just have to take care of them until I die and hope I don’t lose them.”

Lamar just laughed. “So you asked to wear them for your wedding and your Grandmother just let you keep them? That’s probably good, right?”

She sat back against the seat and tried to force herself to relax. Naomi had already fallen asleep against her shoulder after trying to put away most of their wedding gifts that morning. It had been exhausting, but it would be nice to come back to a clean(ish) house instead of a dusty pile of boxes. 

“It’s both nice and terrifying. I mean, if anything happens to it, I can’t fix it. But it’s supposed to be really good luck?” Karina honestly wasn’t sure that ‘occupied by a ghostly relation that watches over us in return for getting to be at, and participate in, all our family parties’ was a topic she was willing to talk about with a newly-minted brother in law. 

He hummed that he understood, but it came out a little teasingly. “Maybe a little luck will rub off on me while I’m lounging around in your house for a week. We can only hope, right?”

They returned from Hawaii relaxed but exhausted with even more stuff than they’d brought: chocolate with macadamias, festive decorations, and way too many souvenirs. The plan was to eat the rest of the chocolate at home in bed before any of their family members got to it, and to distribute leis instead. 

Karina and Naomi waited by the gate for Lamar to come. When he was thirty minutes late, Naomi tried to call him. But it only rang to voicemail- and he hadn’t checked any of his messages, either. 

Confused but ever-ready for the other shoe to drop, Karina called her mother to come pick them up. Maybe he’d just fallen asleep at home or he’d left his phone somewhere. They’d be able to give him so much shit as soon as they got home. And mama was literally always ready to get involved in  

But the house lights were off- even though it was seven pm. Her mother’s lips pinched into a disapproving line. “Well.” She put her hands on her hips. “I want to see that young man. The front door isn't even locked!”  

“Don't worry.” Naomi pursed her lips. “I'll have a talk with him. I wanna know what happened. It was pretty rude of him to just pick up and leave, especially without telling anyone.”

They wrote it off as general flakiness as they dropped all their suitcases in the empty living room, and checked the house. Everything seemed fine, nothing was out of place or even messy – until they opened the door to the guest bedroom. 

Lamar was sprawled out on the bed on his stomach. He was shirtless, so it was easy to see bruising dusting its way up his ribs. 

"Oh my god." Karina put her hands to her mouth, horrified. She wasn't quiet, but Lamar didn't stir.

Mama came down the hall after them. “What is it? What's wrong?” Mama stopped in the doorway. Her eyebrows went way up her forehead.

Naomi had crossed the room in a hot second and ran a hand down her brother's back. The smell of alcohol puffed out when she put her knees on the bed. Lamar made a soft sound at her touch, unhappy but alive. He turned his head to the side to show off the beginnings of a black eye. Naomi let out a big huffing exhalation and collapsed onto the bed in relief.

Karina hovered behind, feeling useless and clumsy.

Behind them, Mom made a pitying sound and pulled the curtains shut.

“He looks alright, but damn,” Naomi groaned. She poked her brother's back. “Think he got into a bar fight or something? Don't know what else it could be. Or maybe he and his boyfriend got drunk and got into it. Mark isn't here at all.”

She made an "ah" sound and nodded. It looked a little different to her, but... Naomi would know her brother better. "Does he... drink often?" 

The most beautiful woman Karina knew looked exhausted. "More, lately," she said. And... that fit in with the increasingly rare and sad phone calls Naomi had with her baby brother. “I think maybe Mark is a bad influence? But I can't say a word against that guy. Lamar just shuts down if I do.”

Behind them, Karina's mother made a sudden, unhappy sound. When she glanced back, her mother was rubbing a hand over her face.

It was silent. Karina shrugged – it was too much work to be angry about right now. As it was, nothing was stolen or on fire and he seemed to be mostly okay. “Should we try to wake him up?” she wondered. “Take him to the doctor?”

“No, no, I will do it.” Her mother took charge, gently pushing them both out of the room. “You’re tired, and this boy needs a talk from a mother. Go.” Her voice wasn't too hard, which was- surprising, but a relief.  

'I hope mama doesn't yell at him too much.'

They gratefully fled to the couch with their chocolates and the promise of true-crime mysteries on the TV. It was almost shamefully comfortable, especially with the sounds of her mother vacuuming and moving around in the other rooms. She must have decided to let Lamar sleep, but needed to keep her hands busy. She stayed until Lamar woke up an hour later and locked herself in for a long talk with him. When mama left, Lamar went with her. 

It wasn’t until they went to bed that she noticed the tiara wasn’t on her dresser, but her mother had probably just decided to clean it in her quest to scrub everything in Karina’s house.  

Her mother came back early in the morning. When she came in, she brought the missing tiara in with the morning mail- in a package with no return address, and a smudgy note from the missing boyfriend apologizing for stealing it. And apparently being a bad person or something – the handwriting got pretty messy towards the end of the letter. It was, as Naomi had said, ‘real weird shit’. Naomi begged off to go out for brunch with her little brother and presumably drag the truth out of him, leaving Karina and her mother alone in the house. 

“I lost it,” Karina realized. She sat down at the kitchen table with a jerk. “I had it in my possession one day and I lost it. I didn't even know that Mark had taken it. Why would he do that?” Her voice went high.

Her mother just kept turning the tiara around in her hands. She was leaning against the counter, with a stern look on her face. She didn’t seem confused or relieved to have it back, which was strange.  

“I'm really glad it's not in a pawn shop somewhere.” Karina ran her hands in her hair, wishing her mother would say something. Without really understanding why, she reached out her hands to her mother. She just thought it’d make her feel calmer to really know the tiara was safe but she didn't, she still felt tense and it was unpleasant.

Her mother placed the tiara in her hands with a steadiness and a look that Karina would never forget.

All at once, she knew. She knew a bit too much. 

Old bruises from far before their honeymoon and some new ones. Lamar thought he might stay with his family. Thought he would leave him. And then pain around her neck, crushing it. It was becoming oh, so hard to breathe.

Anger.

A tiara in the pocket of her jacket while she sold some of their new wedding presents for cash to buy bus tickets and a gun. 

And filling out an envelope with her own name and address on it in a post office. All the while she was protesting, unhappy, swimming in fear and confusion and unable to move his hands the way he wanted to.

Karina experienced all of this at once, like an overwhelming punch to the brain and senses. She tasted the sweat and gunpowder and incredible heat. 

She looked at her mother. Her mother looked at her. Karina wondered where the body was. She suspected it wasn't going to be found. 

'Ah,' Karina thought. 'Ah. That's what they mean by good luck.'

She drained her coffee, placed her dishes in the sink, and put the tiara back in its velvet-lined box.