Great Lakes & Expectations Chapter 9

The lobby cleared as the movie was about to start, and Regina felt exhausted. 

But also, kind of curious?

[regina hime.] momo said. (eigo wo miyou ka)

[hen na eiga desu ka?] she asked, fearing his response. 

He laughed. [chotto? Romansueigadesu.]

She narrowed her eyes. That sounded harmless.

Hontou ni, he promised. Tabun kissu ga aru. zennin ha fuku wo kiru.

...Unless she was missing something, that seemed really tame. Oh no, she'd see kissing on screen! She could probably survive that. Was that all that amounted to perversion here? Or was the version of romance here really messed up?

It could be something like that, where the romantic script was really weird and coercive.   

On the other hand, Japan was socially conservative. PDA just was not a thing. It could be that Tsunade felt that it was indecent to watch people's private lives, even those of fictional people.

[hai] Regina said, somewhat hesitantly. If this was a romcom, she was going to feel so confused. This country was very conservative.

Was it weird? She wasn’t a child. And she was curious why this was so popular. And could somehow be perverted, but also hundreds of people (and not all of them men, actually) could be willing to be seen watching it? Hundreds of people also came to have Jiraiya sign their books. She could only assume those were related to the movie. 

She considered it. 

{Regina-chan, ikimashou.] Tsunade clipped, holding the door open. 

Regina hesitated. 

{anou….} she stuttered. How did she say “I love you and I worship you but also I kinda want to see the sex movie? I’m really curious? Please love me anyway.” 

Alas, that didn’t translate. Or if it did, she didn’t know how to convey it. 

Momo rescued her. 

{Tsunade-sama, kono eiga Rejina-hime tanoshimi desu.] then more things she definitely didn’t understand. 

Tsunade said nothing, but stared back at him. Regina could feel some tension in the air- it was cold and stifling. She could barely breathe. Her mouth felt dry, and her heart was doing its best to beat its way out of her ribcage. 

She started to see stars. 

Then it suddenly stopped. Tsunade brought her thumb up to her nostril, and traced it along its length, pulling it out into two fingers, pointed at Momo’s eyes. 

Then she gripped it into a fist, while still making eye contact, and slowly popped every one of her knuckles. 

Nobody moved. 

{Kyotsukete, Rejina-chan, Shizune-chan. Mata ashita.} She said tersely, then sped out the door and into the night.

Like a shot she was out of the theater, on the street, and heading into the nearest bar. 

Shizune tensed, looking between Tsunade's back and Regina. Her shoulders slumped. She sighed. [Regina-san… ikimasuka?] she asked. She sounded like her soul was weary. 

She almost felt a little guilty. It wasn't Shizune's fault, and she didn't want Shizune to have to follow her around. 

But, like, exactly how guilty did she feel? She was really bored. She'd been sitting around doing almost nothing for weeks. She could barely communicate with anyone, her literacy was poor, and the joint was not jumping. There was very little she'd had access to, entertainment-wise, in at least a month. Regina looked deep into her own soul and found no mercy to spare for Shizune's next two hours.

"Ikou!" she chirped, as if she had not been able to read the plaintive tone of that question. 

Momo had disappeared during this exchange. She turned away from the risk of contact with Shizune's big sad eyes, and found him leaning ominously into the personal space of the man serving refreshments. As she watched, she saw the worker duck away from the counter and stand at the popcorn machine to work some esoteric magic.

Oh. I want popcorn, Regina said. She marched off without translating for Shizune. She assumed that her meaning would be obvious from context.

Momo somehow sensed her approach. He glanced back, saw her, and then barked something to the worker. 

The worker obediently withdrew a second paper popcorn container. 

As she got close, Regina felt her eyebrows move up. The machine had prepared popcorn in the bin, but the worker was clearly in the process of popping more. As soon as it was done, the worker hurriedly began scooping the popcorn. 

Momo said something sharp. The worker stopped while container was half full, and poured butter onto the popcorn. He made tentative eye contact with Momo, as if checking that it was correct. Momo made a hand gesture.

The worker ended up putting butter into both popcorn boxes both on the top and midway, which was swanky. 

They received two containers of very hot, buttery popcorn. Shizune took one stiffly and stepped slightly away. It was amazing, Regina reflected. She didn't know it was possible to communicate disapproval through popcorn-holding body language.

The movie started off as a story about a young man who seemed remarkably like Jiraiya. He was loud and brave, she could tell he was brave because he rescued a beautiful woman (who had some of Tsunade’s mannerisms she had discerned during their brief time together. The way she flipped her hair before answering a question, how she positioned her hands, the way her lips and nose twitched slightly when she seemed irritated. Maybe she really was related to this nerd. They were obviously cut from the same cloth.)

There were hijinks. She hated that word, but that’s what they were. Comics of misunderstandings and incredible fake sexual tension. Eventually, their mutual respect in the field of (banditry? Contract killing?) led to them falling in love with other. 

Other than an accidental ass grab played for laughs, it wasn’t even that scandalous. 

Regina looked around the theater. Every single person was enraptured during the very traditional kiss on the mouth. Shizune’s grip had loosened somewhat, and she was obviously emotionally invested in the current obvious misunderstanding that was keeping the two lovers separated. 

Pervert number 248 was openly weeping. 

Regina leaned back into her seat and stared at the screen with purpose. 

The movie ended with a real confession under Sakura trees (was it even a real love confession if it wasn’t done with the impermanent pink blossoms falling and swirling in the background?). Now multiple people were crying.

The main characters were weird. The audience was clearly supposed to like them, but they definitely spied and stole and killed just asstons of people who were unimportant to the plot. 

Overall, she didn’t feel scandalized. A quick glance at Shizune indicated that she wasn’t, either. She had a somewhat vacant, dreamy look on her face. 

Momo was implacable. But he was the only one of their group that paid to be here, so she could only assume he had enjoyed the experience. 

Regina finished her snacks and waited for the credits to roll. 

The movie ended (everyone stayed after all the credits, but there was no bonus footage) and all the weirdos dispersed at once into the streets in a weeping plague.

Momo and Shizune hung back, keeping Regina at the back of the theater. She saw the man Momo had lifted see their group and skitter away like a raccoon under a flashlight. Oh, and hey, there was the pomeranian sweater dude. 

She went to point him out to Shizune, but she was intently studying Regina’s hand. Apparently it was important work. She wasn’t even looking at her palm.

After the theater cleared out, Regina followed her companions out into the street. 

{tsukaretaka?} shizune asked Regina, rolling her calloused thumb over the back of Regina’s hand. It felt nice. 

{Daijoubudesu.} Momo answered, and Shizune’s lips set into a line. {Ikimashou, ne?}

Regina mostly just felt amenable. Wherever was good. Nothing horrible was happening and it was obvious that they knew more than she did. And were not going to let people accost her, so that was another good point. Shizune watched her like a hawk. 

Shizune obviously wanted to say something- her hand was a little tense around Regina’s, she kept watching Momo and Regina out of the corner of her eye, and her lips intermittently parted and then closed again. Whatever it was, it at least probably wasn’t dangerous.

Regina yawned, and both her companions paused. 

“Excuse me.” She said in English.  Then they just kept walking, steering her in the direction of her housing. Probably. Maybe she lived with Shizune now. Who knew, really. The content of Tsunade’s and Osafune’s discussion had gone almost entirely over her head. Now that the movie premiere was over, she had no idea what the plan was. 

Or if there was any plan regarding her at all. 

She tried not to think about it, and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other in her geta without tripping.

A gentle nudge to her right arm made her look up. Momo blinked, and then looked somewhere off to her left. 

Regina followed his gaze, catching a glimpse of someone drunkenly sauntering into an izakaya. 

Shizune deftly moved to cut her line of vision, but was a second too late. Tsunade’s blonde pigtails caught the moonlight and shone like gold. 

Also, was that a pig in her arms?

She had so many questions about these people. Such as, why? And really, why?

But Shizune had obviously decided that she hadn’t seen her new crush bar-hopping with a farm animal, and took them across the street. 

Oh. They were at Osafune’s house. It all looked very different in the dark. 

[Ah. Koukou desu. Rejina-hime, Shizune-hime.] Momo bowed stiffly, and she and Shizune returned it. [matane. Kyotsukete, ne?]

Then he sauntered off into the night, and disappeared into the mist. 

Shizune sighed again. 

Either that was just a thing with her, or Regina was a particular pain in the ass. 

Regina decided not to worry about it at the moment. She was tired, and had just learned that this continent was so repressed the some light touching was considered straight-up porn. Everything about this place was a lot to process. 

Surprisingly, Shizune didn’t leave this time. 

She said something to Fujita-san and she came back with more bedding, and some extra sets of Regina’s bedclothes. 

Shizune set up camp next to Regina, talking lightly under her breath the entire time. 

[Shizune-san?] Regina asked, above and below her fluffy futons. [zenbuwadaijoubudesuka?]

Shizune paused, mid-fluffing a pillow. She dropped it to the ground and sat next to Regina on the floor. 

[daijoubudesu,ne. Demo, suguni watashitachiwatetsunokuninitsumoridemasu.]

Yeah, but she was being a weirdly bad liar. Regina hoped lying wasn’t part of her job. And that they had a way to carry all the shit her Punch Dad had gotten her. There were enough silk furisode to outfit an army of princesses.

[watakushi wa chigau shimashita ka?] She asked. [sugoi ganbarimashita.]

[Iie, daijoubu.] Shizune huffed a small laugh. [Tsunade-sama wa chotto....omoshiroidesu.. Kanojo wa sugi ni shuppatsu shitai.]

Some of that might have been the truth. Tsunade obviously did not want to buy a summer home here. She’d been trying to leave from the instant they’d met.

Regina took a moment to crack her back- it seemed rude or weird to do in front of Shizune, but she’d been holding off for hours. And Shizune obviously wasn’t leaving. Didn’t she need to go to the bathroom? Had she somehow evolved beyond that?

Shizune gave her a look that she didn’t understand. But she didn’t say anything and it didn’t look like she was offended, so Regina snuggled under her futon and closed her eyes. Shizune would turn off the lights whenever she was ready, probably.

The next morning, she and Shizune were brought to the fancy old man building again. Mifune was waiting this time in the meeting room, but Tsunade was too. And at the seat Regina had taken last time. 

She hesitated. 

Tsunade’s eyes flicked over her and rested on the seat immediately to her right. Regina tried not to look undignified as she went to it, even though she was definitely scrambling. 

Other people were in the room. On the whole, this seemed like a bigger deal. Last time had obviously been closer to an informal meeting. 

The room was quiet but almost offensively bright with sunlight. She wondered if  Tsunade had a hangover. Regina couldn’t tell at all. 

The meeting began with most keigo- first there was some sort of announcement, they were welcomed as honored guests (she was guessing because she just bowed when Shizune made eye contact), and some long speech. Then Tsunade said something, their hosts bowed, they bowed. 

More than an hour later, Mifune said something, and several samurai came forward holding objects. 

First they presented an envelope of some kind and a scroll to Tsunade. Then they came to Regina. She followed Tsunade’s earlier example and bowed slightly as she held out both hands. She received four scrolls and an envelope. 

She tried to look grateful and tried to replicate Tsunade’s earlier example as best she could. 

After that, the meeting began to end. More speeches were made, none of which Regina understood. She bowed as necessary, and stared at the neatly placed pile of things she’d received.  She wanted to open them really badly. But also she’d probably have no idea what the hell they were even if she did. It was also probably in keigo. 

Her legs had long since stopped hurting from seiza and had dulled to total numbness. She hoped that everyone else would leave the room before she had to do her best impression of a baby goat in flip flops. 

Unfortunately, they did not. Mifune stood, and so did Tsunade, holding her scroll and envelope. Regina followed suit, and held up her legs through sheer force of will. Falling down and hitting her head on the low table would probably undermine all the poise she’d tried so hard to pretend she had. 

He bowed again. They bowed in return. Then he guided them to the door, where they had some sort of final goodbye. 

Tsunade walked through the building like she owned the place. She navigated the corridors and once they were outside, she directed them to a nearby restaurant. They sat (and Regina did not attempt seiza this time because No). 

Tsunade held her perfectly manicured hand out to Regina. 

She blinked. 

[kore?} she asked, holding up her prizes. 

{soudesu.} Tsunade replied, looking a little bored. Regina complied quickly. 

One after one, Tsunade opened the scrolls carefully and read them all. Shizune was obviously reading off to the side, but was a pro about it. Regina studied the grain of the paper from the back. It was really nice paper. 

After she was done reading, Tsunade pulled out a book from her pocket and removed a sheet of paper. From somewhere else, she produced a paintbrush and an inkstone. 

Regina watched with interest as Tsunade made some beautiful marks- what was that kanji?- and then dried it with her breath. 

Then she smacked it lightly and made it glow. 

The fuck. 

Tsunade delicately put the scrolls into? The paper. They just disappeared. 

Then she opened the envelope. A single eyebrow went high. Shizune looked mildly ill. 

Tsunade tapped the paper again, and it stopped glowing. She placed that and the envelope back in front of Regina.

[juuyo desu.] Tsunade said sternly. [nakusushinaide]. 

Okay. She would not lose her fancy magic paper or her envelope filled with- Regina poked the top and noted the tip of a paper bill poking out. Okay yes money. She would never ever lose money. Money was important. 

[Tsunade-sama?] Shizune asked.

[mitsu no kyuujin ga arimasu. Kumo, iron, to… orochimaru, to omoimasu.] Tsunade said stiffly. 

[doushite?] Shizune asked, sounding alarmed now. Regina had no idea what Iron and spiders wanted to do with her, but it seemed important. She made a mental note of that.

Tsunade sneered a bit. Her gaze fell over Regina. Obviously something about her posture or facial expression warranted concern. [Rejina. Daijoubudesu.] She said forcefully. 

Man, people kept telling her that. It didn’t bode well at all.